Thursday, February 07, 2008

Ponder For A Moment

Sent to me by my cousin Jerry...


Ponderisms...

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

8 comments:

g-man said...

I have seen some of those before. Some were new, all worth the pondering over. :)

One more ... Why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway?

XOXO right back at ya!!!

Freakazojd said...

I think the extra penny goes to 'the man.' :)
Hope you're doing well after those crazy tornadoes!!

Jay Cam said...

haha thats funny!

i know why bra is single can panties is plural!

it is because usually someone tries to get in another's panties, and that makes two!

Cynnie said...

i know the panties thing..
Cause usually our ass is double the size of our tits..
heh

Joshua said...

yes, no, no, yes, awesome, no, yes, yes, yes, hell no, fuck, yes, no, I do, maybe.



That should answer everything on your mind.

Mike said...

Morality definitely comes from morons. Just look at the Canadian criminal code... DUUUUUURRRRR!

For Jay - I'm sending you a pair of fundies for christmas - sans wet spot.

BBC said...

I'm always pondering, my mind just never shuts down.

Ha, it's 41 degrees here, warmer than it is there.

Aunt Jackie said...

g-man! Yes another good one!

freakazojd! Thanks, everythings o.k. here. Good to see you.

jay cam! Good one :P

cynnie! Well don't I know, I feel that way anyways... maybe even triple!

joshua! I'll have what you're having lol

mike! Agreed... true :) lol

bbc! Warmer now though I bet. My mind never shuts down either. Sure wish I had an off switch sometimes.

You guys have a great day!