Deep In The Forrest

Just on a music kick tonight, and I had forgotten about this song, which speaks so much. "Jealous" by Labrinth I'm jealous of the rain That falls upon your skin It's closer than my hands have been I'm jealous of the rain I'm jealous of the wind That ripples through your clothes It's closer than your shadow Oh, I'm jealous of the wind 'Cause I wished you the best of All this world could give And I told you when you left me There's nothing to forgive But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was Heartbreak and misery It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way You're happy without me I'm jealous of the nights That I don't spend with you I'm wondering who you lay next to Oh, I'm jealous of the nights I'm jealous of the love Love that was in here Gone for someone else to share Oh, I'm jealous of the love 'Cause I wished you the best of All this world coul...

"On a Day Like Today" We would awaken at Dawn and sit out on the lawn drink your coffee, extra strong, on a day like today... As we watched our butterflies, shaping clouds, in blue skies, as the breeze blows, gentle sighs, on a day like today. There would be talk of old times, remembering nursery rhymes; thoughts of those who'd left us behind, how we missed them, how they shined; Now it's just me here, I rewind picturing this, tears leave me blind; But for all those thoughts that stray, watching April chasing May, I think of all I'd love to say (to you) On a Day Like Today  By Jacqueline Wood  For Mama (my butterfly) April 18, 2017

From time-to-time, I get all nostalgic and make music mixes and sometimes I find myself stuck in the 80s, a time when it was simple and still magical (for me at least, I don't need to know the cynical time it was for anyone else). So I was making my friend Glenda an "Ultimate 80s Mix" the other day, and I found myself including the song "Midnight Blue" by Lou Gramm. I listened in to the words, and they were pretty cool. Ain't got no regrets And I ain't losin' track Of which way I'm going Ain't gonna double back Don't want no misplay Put on no display An angel? No! But I know my way I used follow Yeah, that's true. But my following days are over, Now I just gotta follow through I remember what my father said He said " Son Girl, life is simple" It's either cherry red or... Midnight Blue... Oh... Midnight Blue... Oh... You were the restless one And you did not care That I was the troubled boy ...

This song about sums up today's feelings... just click play :)

I woke up feeling so groggy this morning. A day after if you will. I'm so tired. I Feel Like Singing... With your feet in the air and your head on the ground Try this trick and spin it, yeah Your head will collapse But there's nothing in it And you'll ask yourself Where is my mind? Way out in the water See it swimmin I was swimmin in the carribean Animals were hiding behind the rock Except the little fish But they told me, he swears Tryin to talk to me koi koy Where is my mind? You see, yesterday was my Dad's birthday. He would have been 82 years old. It was the first time in my entire life that we did not go home and celebrate Daddy's birthday. Daddy loved his birthdays and his Fathers Days... and every day that he got to spend "looting up" on gifts and enjoying time with the love of his life (Mom) and his children. We always looked forward to the same with them. My cousin Gary also shares a birthday with my Father... August 29th. There hav...

The day started off cloudy and windy, but Mother Nature has promised us partly cloudy and 72 Degrees or so by this afternoon. So it looks like it will shape up to be quite a lovely Friday. I was sitting at my desk first thing this morning, and some noise that I heard reminded me of Bugs Bunny cartoons, it was some little "ditty", just the tune of the very beginning of some of the cartoon episodes on there. Suddenly, I was transported back in time to a simpler, more secure era... I am six years old and it's a lovely, cool Saturday morning... Daddy "marked off" so he could be home with his family like he does sometimes. He doesn't care as much about the money as he does about being with us... I mean, he wants to make sure that the bills are paid and that we have food to eat and clothes on our backs, but he hates to be gone from us. So he takes off when he can. I love it when Daddy is home because we wake up like this and watch cartoons. He's my best buddy ...

We should never forget our roots... they give us strength. So I failed my 8th grade science test, what else is new? lol Now what was I saying?? Ah yes... In my years on Earth, I have yet to miss a Thanksgiving. It's always been at Mom and Dad's house (my childhood home since 2 years of age). So I can only imagine at this moment how I will feel when that is no longer possible. Holidays as I have known them will one day be nonexistent. I can't help but think about this. I know this is something that we all deal with, and a lot of people I know who have experienced loss deal with it very well, others not at all. I always get an edgy, nervous feeling around the holidays though because that is when things always tend to go wrong. I can only sit back in prayer that we make it through without anything major, you know?? I sure do miss the old days, but I say that way too much around here. Another irritating dream last night: This time, I dreamt that I woke up and it was like 4:30 i...

Wow it's been hard for me to post this weekend because I don't really have much to say. I have accomplished nowt this weekend except a little video gaming, lying around in my undies (which are basically stolen pairs of my husband's boxers and a t-shirt lol!). So I didn't die from over stuffing myself yesterday, hope you guys weren't worried about that. I felt like it though... but I didn't. My dreams have been very weird to me all weekend... but not worth discussing really. Earlier, I was just sitting and thinking about the last ten years... that's all it takes 10 years. Ten years to turn from shiny, new, full of spirit into an old tattered fart. (To just look in the mirror and realize how old you can feel sometimes, and how old I guess I am [supposed to be] ). It's not working though... my number continues to rise, but I don't feel like I am keeping up with it. I can't grow up, I still feel the same inside as I always did... and I sit and obsess...

"So in America when the sun goes down and I sit on the old broken-down river pier watching the long, long skies over New Jersey and sense all that raw land that rolls in one unbelievable huge bulge over to the West Coast, and all that road going, all the people dreaming in the immensity of it, and in Iowa I know by now the children must be crying in the land where they let the children cry, and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear? The evening star must be drooping and shedding her sparkler dims on the prairie, which is just before the coming of complete night that blesses the earth, darkens all rivers, cups the peaks and folds the final shore in, and nobody, nobody knows what's going to happen to anybody besides the forlorn rags of growing old, I think of Dean Moriarty, I even think of Old Dean Moriarty the father we never found, I think of Dean Moriarty." Those were the last, gasping lines of Jack Kerouac's "On The Road...

Weekend coming to a close here... I'm basically sitting back chilling while Mr. J watches yet another History Channel feature about Nostradamus. This is a good thing, especially if I want to go to bed and have night terrors. I thought I would do a Sunday night post to include some ranting and some rambling. Some of the rants, I've talked about before so no doubt will it be a repeat and probably bore some of you who read me. However, lots of times when I mention topics such as "bad customer service" and "public assholes", I get a great deal of followers who wholeheartedly agree. I mention customer service workers, once again, because over the weekend I happened to go through a well-known franchise drive-thru, and noticed more crap-assed behavior on the part of the "cheery" workers there. I make my order, they repeat it (so far so good), then I get to the first window. I noticed right away that the girl waiting to take my money keeps the window clasp...

Let me ask you a question (or two, maybe three). Is it natural for us, as human beings, to seek validation and approval from others? We shouldn't care what others think, but sometimes it is hard not to when you admire another for their skills, or you thought they had an awesome personality or were a great person only to lose their respect or approval, for whatever reason. It's hard for that not to hurt my feelings anyway. Why do you blog? Of course you blog for yourself, and you may say that you still blog only for your own enjoyment, or therapy or fun. However, be honest. Every one of us likes comments; comments from your 'blog peers' provide some form of validation, and they are an enjoyable form of banter that may not be necessary, but you come to really appreciate, maybe even slightly depend on. So, when you get few or no comments, isn't it just a little disappointing? So why is it a crime to admit that not only does one enjoy writing for the sake of writing, bu...

Yes, change of background... not by choice. I lost the other one. I made a back-up of this one so I guess I'm safe for now. No matter, just another symbolic display that shows things constantly change, and the things that you love can never stay (or stay as you like them)... whether they be circumstances, youth, feelings, friends, families, people, love, hate, peace, war, ideas, or dreams. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Go away from my window Leave at your own chosen speed I'm not the one you want, babe I'm not the one you need You say you're lookin' for someone Who's never weak but always strong To protect you and defend you Whether you are right or wrong Someone to open each and every door You say you're lookin' for someone To pick you up each time you fall To gather flowers constantly And to come each time you call And will love you for your life And nothin' more But it ain't me babe No, no, no, it ain't me babe It ain't me you're look...

*Updated throughout the day... (10:00 a.m.) Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, or say that it's just wrong and you keep screwing things up no matter how hard you try not to? Nothing is ever good enough for anyone else, why? (1:20 p.m.) Have you ever felt shunned or deliberately avoided by someone who you admire a great deal, and who's work, who's friendship and association you greatly valued (making you feel as though it was something you did or didn't do)? Did you let them know that they made you feel this way? (137 p.m.) Do you have moments when every little thing (noise, distraction etc) gets on your nerves and makes you want to go find a place to hide from it all?

I miss my sisters. I miss the good ole days. I miss my best friend, Tamra. I miss Lenny Kravitz's dreads. I miss riding around all night with nothing to do and nowhere to go, but ending up there, doing it anyway. I miss being 20. I miss my parents. I miss good music--a lot of today's music truly sucks! I miss the snow in winter. I miss magic in my soul. I miss every love I've ever known, though I don't miss the jerks (they know who they are). I miss trips to the moon, and stargazing late at night. I miss kissing in the rain. I even miss myself sometimes...

**Updated: Italics Removed by request of Rockdog .** Haven't had much time lately, but since spring is once again in full bloom, I thought the story might once again apply... This is a long one, so get some popcorn and a soda... maybe a cup of coffee. Forgive the length (that's what he said... lol j/k) Originally written in spring 2005 by yours truly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Procrastinator is my middle name. In fact, I’m sure my mother told me that when she was in labor with me, that I curtly asked her 'if we could take a rain check for tomorrow'. Who could blame me now, seeing the current state of our world? Seriously, Ozzy Ozbourne "The Prince of Darkness" is now the King of Fathers--and a Reality TV favorite, Led Zeppelin and Iron Butterfly can be heard on finer elevators everywhere. The 'Thriller' is gone as Michael Jackson goes from 'King of Pop' to the Jester of Molesters. Crime and punishment is all around us but yet s...

Well, it's time to prepare as Friday the 13th is closing in on us... hmmm, that's interesting... Hope it goes off without a hitch. Sounds like a good time for good horror movies or stories... Makes me miss Halloween a little. Still been catching up on deadlines and commitments so that can be stressful. In fact, I finally just finalized my taxes today (How do you like that Dan?? lol). But I guess it's all good. Nobody likes to feel stretched too thin but I was just touching base with my friend Jinks today. She said she'd been wondering about me, why we hadn't been able to really have ourselves a good chat in a while--I explained to her about my pressing matters and all and just kind of told her how I'd been feeling so discouraged and disgusted sometimes, not even wanting to look in the mirror. I mean, we're getting back on track with our fitness and back to healthy eating, but I catch myself comparing the image I see staring back at me more like a Big Loud...