Deep In The Forrest

This morning when I Facebooked about Friday in my status message about 'Friday being in the house', one of my favorite blog pals, Angie (No More Empty Fortune Cookies) said that Friday was her B.F.F., and it got me to thinking, ME TOO!! For those of us who are corporate 'slaves to the man', workin the 8 or 9 - 5 all week long, Friday feels that way. No better day of the week (well, once you actually get off work that is). This is the time that all of you independent people, who've broken away from the time clock can insert a gloating remark such as "Friday means nothing to me, I am on my own schedule." Well, good for you. Revel in the fact that we're all jealous of you. Also, I realize that there are others who are not as fortunate as us MF'rs (Monday - Friday'ers, what were YOU thinking?!). Yes we too can feel as though others only aspire to our cubicle-hell greatness... these would be restaurant workers, retail workers, truckers or just any...

So I walk into the gas station/convenience store right around the corner this morning, only to read their "no shoe/no shirt" policy sign for the 100th time. It reads "Must have shirt, shoes and pants on before entering". Then I noticed at the bottom, scribbled in, it said "Pants Must Be Pulled Up". I thought, JEEZ! What is it coming to? I have seen so many funny signs here and there because you know SOMEONE is running around with their pants around their knees, or doing some crazy stuff that caused people to have to write up a special sign. O.k. well good luck to my local convenience store with that, I hope they have some success with it. This is the same convenience store that someone drove their truck through the glass door in an attempt to rob a few months back. It's everywhere isn't it? No place is sacred and relaxing anymore. Well folks, I'm keeping it short today, just not feeling overly-wordy (much to your dismay I'm sure!) However, ...

Oh and I totally forgot to tell about my 'near miss' this morning. I guess I was so busy thinking about the current issues of the day. Without starting an "official rant" on Memphis drivers, I will just begin by saying that when coming off an interstate ramp, you are supposed to "Yield" to anyone in lanes that are already present on said road/highway/interstate. First off, I was in the right hand lane having to pass some bozo who was going 20 MPH, and I was in a hurry (not that I was driving my most cautious either), but this freakazoid comes off the interstate ramp, and I have a feeling he was trying to beat me or something, he's plowing down through there, the person I am passing is on the left hand side, and I am trying to get past the exit ramp before he gets off, and he nearly causes a "Sandwich" collision. I have to honk my horn and cuss at the idiot. Guess he was determined to get off the interstate ramp at all costs, but I swear, he did...

You know your morning is getting off to a great start when you get behind the absolute most dilapidated, beat-up work truck (complete with run-down wooden bed on the back), going all of 20 miles per hour and bearing a bumper sticker that boldly states "Nowhere to go and all day to get there". I sighed, and waited patiently, driving along behind him without even a toe on the gas pedal. Isn't that irony at its best? And just my luck to get behind that guy... It seems like I have a knack for it. If you've ever seen the movie "Office Space" you know that first scene where Peter is trying to get to work and he constantly changes lanes trying to get into the one that is "moving", but just as he does it is that lane that screeches to a halt while the one he just left begins to go? Well that's ME! If there is an idiot on the road, you can rest assured you will find him driving blissfully ignorantly in front of me. Either that or they're behind or ...

Damn! I'm either getting senile or I have way too many stupid little e-mail addresses hanging around. On the side over there (points to the right) I have that little "MyBlogLog" bar that shows recent readers... well, every once in a while when you clear your cache or your session expires, it's necessary to log back in, right?? So I spend the better part of an hour trying to figure out why my account is screwed up [This has happened more than once since they merged with Yahoo]. I'm sitting there thinking that they are out to get me. I get steamed and frustrated trying to get my login to go through. Then I get mad and write to the "contact us" virtually cussing them out and telling them that their function is screwed up and the merging with Yahoo has ruined the site. I tell them if someone doesn't help me and get my account straight then they should promptly help me cancel my account. Ten minutes later, a "lightbulb" goes off in my foggy head...

It is mid-week finally (or in a way you could say, "Already!?!?"). Because it seems to have passed off rather quickly, yet I can't wait for the weekend. I'm still having fun with my new camera, but haven't had the opportunity to take anymore really good photos. When I do, I will share. Parking Garages have always unnerved me a little, I've never liked them much at all. The garage that we park in for my office happens to be one of the worst I've ever seen. Worse in more ways than one in that not only does it look terrible, but it is a very badly planned garage. Originally, it was supposed to be office spaces I think, and then someone turned it into a parking garage--so the lay-out is all wrong, there are huge pillars and enclosed in walls that would strike fear in the engine of any Hummer or other large vehicle. I've seen drivers of vans scrape the sides of their vehicles and many car exteriors have been claimed by its pure evil. As well, the confusing...

This is the Monday "Don't Try This At Home" segment. This guy clearly had already drank enough to rid him of his logic... You should blow the flame out on the shot BEFORE you drink it. Let that be a lesson to you all!! :)

Rant #1 for Monday: Monday morning Rush hour is no place for you "Sunday Drivers" . Don't get me wrong... I don't have a problem whatsoever with you driving like a snail, and i'm all for safety on the road. What you happen to be doing, however, is not safe. Not that any of you rotten apples of the road are going to listen to what I have to say, but just in case these words don't totally fall on blind eyes, or the proverbial 'deaf ear', here are a few tips for you aliens to the busy rush hour interstates and freeways. If you're going to drive slow, do it in the appropriate lane and kindly get out of the "Acceleration Lane". Do not drive slowly in the "Acceleration Lane" and expect people to stay off your ass. If you were going at least the speed limit, or driving in the proper lane for slower traffic, you wouldn't be having the problem. Furthermore, if you do (oddly enough) have a line of cars riding said bumper, maybe you s...

I'm still finding it quite difficult to find any courtesy on the streets and highways all around. No matter where I go, someone is riding my tail High-beams A'blazin, seemingly unaware of their apparent ass-holery. There were 5 in a row this morning, before dawn... blinding the living daylights out of me. It's no wonder more and more people are getting dragged out of their cars and beat down, I have half a mind to do it myself. To the last guy, I pulled over to the side of the road and let him pass so I could get behind him and give him a dose of his own medicine... doubt he even cared. Rule is: (whether this is my rule, or law in some states) When you meet an oncoming car, LOW BEAMS! When you're riding behind someone, or riding their ass... LOW BEAMS!!!!! Oh and if it's not that, it's some brainless twat trying to break the speed barrier and turn the already 'gridlocked' interstate into an obstacle course. Can't they see the person over on the side ...