|"I thought growing old would take longer." ~Unknown|
Just a small notation, I have been going through some health issues, that I haven't exactly blasted online or on social media, my close friends and family know the details, but it has been challenging for my schedule trying to work, so I am doing a bit of a balancing act, and just keeping positive. I'm doing okay, though, if anyone reading is wondering... Maybe i'll write more about the actual situation a bit later. I am just wanting to write more regularly, anything to get myself back into the creative flow. It's hard at times.
Anyway, as I began writing this, maybe a couple months back, I was just browsing around on Facebook, and searching out of boredom, like I do from time-to-time, and suddenly there it was "suggested friends"; his profile... His face.
I felt almost sick at my stomach, I looked up and there his name was, glowing as if in some sort of neon Broadway musical sign, and I don't know why, we have no mutual friends, he was just all of a sudden "there", and he had a photo finally, and when I clicked his profile, I was snapped into a heavy reality. He's old... It's been that long, he's aged, not very well, and I can hardly believe my eyes that he is the one I was so in love with. Does a photo do someone justice? Does their spirit shine through if we were to meet in person again? Would I see beneath that outer skin, that costume and the feelings for that soul begin to stir again? Or was that just a moment in time that may or may have not been a dream, and can never recur?
These are the things that began to race through my mind when I saw him... the same eyes, and crooked little smile on his face, but lighter, not as bright, saggier, grey. Was it really this man that I was in passionate embraces with for hours on end? Holding hands, not wanting to let one another go at the end of the night? My head is spinning, I don't know if I can really handle this feeling right now.
Why does everyone have to grow old? We never really realize what we have until it is gone, it zips by so fast and we take precious moments for granted. Youth truly is wasted on the young.
The Pain and Beauty of Growing Old, and Aging Gracefully