Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Hot and Crummy

This is not a post about a delicious, hot and crummy blueberry muffin!

Still feelin the heat around Memphis these days. For those of you who live in a cooler climate, I am severely jealous of you guys.

Heat is tough in many places I know, but I promise you that Memphis gets this type of "unbearable humidity" that makes it so much worse. I just feel totally crummy!

I can take a lovely shower or bath, and get my make-up on just right, and then I step outside and instantly turn into a puddle of water. I'm not sure if it is normal, but my head/face sweats quite profusely, so my hair get soaked! I simply can't look lovely in this heat-box of a city.

The heat definitely has an impact on our city's homeless, hungry and handicapped people. I've noticed lately that they have taken on a more vicious attitude altogether! ->

I wish I could boast the great words of Major Charles Emerson Winchester 'The Thuhhd', and say:

"I'm a Winchester Honeycutt! A WINCHESTER!!! In the first place, I do not sweat, I Perspire, and in the second place, I DON'T PERSPIRE!" [from M*A*S*H-I love that show].

So, we got our windshields for the bikes. They came in yesterday. Mine is on now, but Richie's had a broken piece to the installation hardware, so he is working on getting the replacement part so he can put his on A.S.A.P.

Since mine was on, of course I had to try it out and see how it was on the bike, so I rode my bike to the practice space to do my keyboard tracks last night. Rode fine, and I actually enjoyed the ride immensely. I think I can tell a decent difference in the wind and at least it helps keep more bugs off me, it doesn't COMPLETELY get rid of the wind in your face feeling, which is fine by me, as long as I'm not totally pelted with bugs and some wind reduction. Anyways, enough about all that I guess.

It is officially "Hump Day". I haven't really referred to it as Hump Day in a while have I? I dunno, I guess things get tired and old so we have to switch it up a bit, but I am revisiting the term. Good day to just have some fun, if you're able to (Whatever Fun is for you). If you want to take the term "hump" literally, then by all means, go for it!

I thought I would continue with a few funny pictures I was able to drag up, depicting people getting "OWNED" or "PWN3D!!" etc... (same thing). Hope you enjoy...

Ever found yourself caught between a Rock and a Hard Place?

I don't know which is more interesting, the retarded looking
guy or the woman about to get smacked in the mouth!

"Two-Car Garage" - You're Doin It WRONG!!!

"Excuse me Sir, that's the wrong window. The "Drive-Thru"
is on the OTHER side of the building."

Bird-catching... you're doin it wrong!!
PWN3D!!!

I think this one just speaks for itself... lol!!!
Alrighty then... Happy Humping Everybody!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Permanent But Temporary (WWC)

A good Tuesday to everyone! Pleased to say it is photo time again, as it is time for the "Weekly Words Challenge" brought to us as always by the lovely and charismatic Tink of Pickled Beef! This week's words, as stated yesterday are "Temporary" and "Permanent".

I am revisiting some photos that I have taken recently but may or may not have used before. No slide show on this one, but please stay after the WWC because I am bringing you a "Special Slide Show Presentation". It's a funny--you might have seen them, if not, it is sure to give you a laugh.

Ok, here goes:

Rain Is Temporary


Graffiti Is Temporary: either gets painted over, or wears away.


Sunsets Are Temporary


Although the Ink Doesn't last, these are "Permanent" markers, the photo did something really strange here. Still, who doesn't LOVE Sharpies!!!


I think Cat Hair is Permanent. At least I can't get rid of it all.


Of course, Nothing here on Earth is really Permanent.
Our souls are Permanent, but our bodies are not.


That's all she wrote for the WWC this week, hope it wasn't too much a disappointment. I dug through a few archives, that's for sure. Next week will be better I promise. I will ride my motorcycle out and take my camera with me for some ultra-cool pics if possible.

Now, on with the program.

Photobombing


[As defined by Urban Dictionary]: Intentionally posing in other people's photos, for a later surprise. Usually people making funny faces in the background, without the knowledge of the main subjects of the photo. As in, "Jim is always photobombing, he messed up some of the best photos from the wedding."

Someone sent me this today and I took and made a slide show out of it for your eyeballing pleasure. You may have seen it or may have not, but I'm sure you have either been guilty of photobombing, or been the victim of it at some point and time.

Put down whatever you're drinking because a couple of these made me LOL. :)

Monday, July 28, 2008

I'm Alive

Hey... I know, I know. No posts over the weekend.

I was checking Tink's blog to find out the WWC words for this week, which happen to be "Temporary" and "Permanent" so I will try my hand at that tomorrow.

While over at Tink's, I always enjoy her "Daily Hoop Conversations" which are little snippets of conversations she and her boyfriend have all the time, and I always think they are the cutest! She's very witty, and to me, some of the quips and conversations she puts on her blog could well be the perfect material for Comic Strips! But also I was inspired and thought I might try one of my conversations with Mr. J. One such conversation popped up tonight, so I thought I would give it a go:

The Daily Dose of AJ and Richie:
Richie: "Man I need a humongous favor. I wore the wrong type of underwear helping Gary move, and my balls are really chaffed!! Can you go buy me some of that creme?"
AJ: "Creme?"
Richie: "Yeah, what's it called? You know, it's for babies."
AJ: "That figures. You mean Desitin?"
Richie: "Yeah that's it! Go get me some PLEAASE!"
AJ: "Ok."
(20 minutes later... Richie gets out of the shower).
Richie: "Where's my butt cream?"
AJ: "I put it on the counter. Let me see your balls!"
Richie: "No! I don't want you to see them."
AJ: "I've seen your balls many times, what's the big deal?"
Richie: "If they were supposed to be looked at, they wouldn't be called PRIVATES!!"

O.k. so there you go, my first one. :) If you can help me name it please feel free to suggest some witty names. That was fun!

Anyways, getting started this week and it's a slow go. Will be back tomorrow with the WWC... see you then!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Worn To A Frazzle

It is Friday! Get finished up with your work and chores as soon as possible, and get out there and enjoy your weekend. I'm certainly going to try to do just that! It's been a long week, TGIF!!



Also, if you need a good Friday 'WTF', to be shocked or maybe a laugh, then don't forget to pop by WTF Friday for all of your WTF needs! :)

Peace out! -AJ

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Gimme A Sign

So I walk into the gas station/convenience store right around the corner this morning, only to read their "no shoe/no shirt" policy sign for the 100th time. It reads "Must have shirt, shoes and pants on before entering".

Then I noticed at the bottom, scribbled in, it said "Pants Must Be Pulled Up". I thought, JEEZ! What is it coming to? I have seen so many funny signs here and there because you know SOMEONE is running around with their pants around their knees, or doing some crazy stuff that caused people to have to write up a special sign.

O.k. well good luck to my local convenience store with that, I hope they have some success with it. This is the same convenience store that someone drove their truck through the glass door in an attempt to rob a few months back. It's everywhere isn't it? No place is sacred and relaxing anymore.

Well folks, I'm keeping it short today, just not feeling overly-wordy (much to your dismay I'm sure!) However, I have written a good bit this week, so play some catch-up!! Leave me a comment, comments are always welcomed! Have a safe, idiot-free day! -AJ

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Today is OK

It's... you guessed it: My Wednesday Post. Today is just "ok". I'm not fueled up about anything in particular, although I'm sweaty from walking at lunchtime, and the bottoms of my feet are slightly sore because we did all that walking when I was only wearing flip-flops. Flip flops don't travel well on the cobble stone of Main street... but that's "ok".

It's Wednesday and "Things" are "Ok".

We started out heading South on Main with full intentions of hitting up The Arcade Restaurant, Memphis' Oldest Cafe (1919). It's down in the South Main district downtown, and can boast involvement in some movie filming, and patronage from many celebs, having served the likes of Cybill Shepherd, Robert Duvall, Dennis Quaid, Susan Sarandon, Rufus Thomas, Elvis and his buddies, and many others, as well. If you're ever in Memphis, and you have the time, I highly suggest popping in, even if just for the history and the memorabilia. The food there is pretty "OK".

But as Murphy's law would have it, it's a very long sweaty walk, and everyone gave up due to the fact that no Trolleys were in sight headed South. Funny how there were at least ten of them going North, since we were not. Therefore, our journey took a turn right about Union Avenue, where we made a left and decided to hit up Huey's! (Home of Blue, Brews and Burgers since 1970). Word has it that Elvis (a.k.a. "Big E") enjoyed Huey's too.

We hopped in, found a seat, I grabbed a Memphis Flyer, and caught up on all of the local goings on, while we waited. I ordered the Veggie Burger, and of course my favorite refreshing drink "Un-Sweetened Iced Tea".

Magically, nobody screwed up my tea accidentally filling it with sugar, and my food order was correct. I'm not saying Huey's screws things up, I'm saying I usually end up with that sort of luck. So we all kick back for a relaxing lunch. Afterwards, one of my co-workers, demonstrates the proper way to 'shoot a toothpick into the ceiling'. Now, let me give you a bit of background here. Huey's (another must try place if you're in the Memphis-area), has a couple of little "traditions". You can write on the walls, and shoot your toothpicks into the ceiling. Occasionally, they will have a contest to see if you can "guess how many toothpicks", and the winner gets a prize of some sort. So you see? More fun and entertainment. Huey's is also within close walking distance of historic Beale Street, so if you eat there, you can go and have a nice digestive walk afterwards and see the sights.

Our demonstrator quickly landed his toothpick into the ceiling, and then I, having followed his instructions to the tee made a successful blow as well! We took the "long way" back, as I stated above, a nice long walk in the wrong shoes, and the wrong attire for comfort and coolness, but once again that's "OK". Now I'm sitting in front of my little fan, jamming out my thoughts for the day so I can concentrate on some work. Still, I wish I had a personal vat of unsweetened iced tea in my cubicle (that would be refreshing and convenient, and I think would make me greatly productive too).

So there you go folks, there is a run-down of a couple of very interesting places to visit and grab some grub and maybe a brew or two if that's what you love to do... Check it out next time you're in the 'hood.

Lastly, I have been thinking about this, and I want to admit something rather embarrassing. I would also like to know if anyone else has ever done anything like this, or maybe get reassurance that I'm not the only weirdo I guess. O.k. Here goes: I'm going to put this out to you in 'scenario' form, OK?

Let's just say, I'm cruising home in drive-time, rush-hour traffic. I come to one of many stop lights, and I have a neighbor (say, fellow-driver next to me), and they seem like they are wanting to race me, or appear to think I want to beat them, or something like this. [It might even be that we are NOT at a stop light at all, but it's someone just racing me down the street, and hovering in the lane next to me, directly side-by-side, making me uncomfortable. Now, for some reason, the next step I am about to take, makes me feel more comfortable, and in my mind I think that if I do this, they will be "taken off guard", and maybe relax a little, assured that I do not want their spot in the road, neigh do I want to "race". What I do at this point is, Fake a Cellphone Call.

That's right. I look down as if my phone is ringing, and I pick it up and act like I am "answering" a phone call. I actually speak it out loud, "Hello?" [Thinking out a conversation in my head so that my mouth moves naturally and believably, giving enough time for the "other person" to speak]. "... Oh, um... yeah I can do that....... No I don't mind......... OK. Well I should be there in about 30 minutes.... " (and so forth) This usually goes on until either the other driver has clearly passed, turned off, or I have passed them and they are safely out of view.

I know, it sounds like I am raving mad. I feel the same way when I think about what I am doing, but I can't stop doing it. I feel more comfortable. Sometimes it isn't about "racing" another driver and cushioning my intent with the phone call, sometimes it is when I see someone who I might think could be a car-jacker, or assailant. At that point, I do it to show them that I have a Cell Phone and can INDEED Dial 9-11 in the event of an emergency.

Please don't think badly of me. I have never made any claims of normalcy, by any means, and you guys know that. But I just hope that at least someone out there can share a story of at least equal strangeness, if not able to say "Hey! I've done that too!" Go easy on me... I full expect to be bashed in some form about this, but I just had to get that out there. I feel much better now, having gotten it off my chest (although slightly embarrassed as I said before).

Hey hang on just a moment, I'm getting an incoming call. OK?? ;)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

How To Handle Mean Drivers?

Well, well... hope your day is going very nicely! Our summer heat is still in full force lately, and I can tell my air conditioner has a hard time keeping up. We have shut a couple of the doors, and closed off vents in hopes that the other rooms will be a little cooler. Hell, my folks grew up without air conditioning, and they lived! Of course, we're all spoiled brats these days, and I swear it is hotter than ever.

Sorry to report that this week we aren't having a WWC due to the recent death in Tink's fiancee's family. She's just extended last week's, I think, and we'll resume next week!

Still keep them in your thoughts please, because as we all know, losing someone is always hard, and it never gets easier. But you learn how to cope, and live, and move forward... I know though, that there is always a big empty spot. Also you should know that these loved ones will always be with you, but you have to pay attention, and be open to the little things. :)

So instead of the WWC, I will provide at least a bit of entertainment.

Small Summer Road Rager

I found this article when I clicked up on the weather site, just checking the temps and conditions. I guess they equate some of the hot temperatures with road rage, and mean drivers. This can contribute to the phenomenon, no lie. However, in Memphis, as I have said before, it doesn't have to hit 100 degrees to witness assholes on wheels.

How to handle them?? There are several ways. However, I had to laugh a little when the 'safe driving' article suggested these very calm ways of dealing with the 'meanie' in the next vehicle. I don't know that I could actually handle it the 'tame' way that they suggest.

Here's what they say: My response to this is in red.

Common aggressive driving behaviors

  • Running stop signs and red lights
  • Speeding, tailgating, and weaving between lanes
  • Passing on the right of a vehicle
  • Making inappropriate hand and facial gestures
  • Screaming, honking the horn, and flashing headlights
(Come to Memphis and see--the above is NOT all that these freaks do!!!)

If you are confronted by an aggressive driver, or witness aggressive driving behavior, follow these guidelines:

  • Make every attempt to safely move out of the aggressive driver's way. Yeah, come on buddy!
  • Do not challenge an aggressive driver by speeding up or attempting to "hold your own" in the travel lane. Let's do this!! You think you're gonna get ahead of me?? If you can fit into this tiny space I just squeezed between me and the driver in front of me, then more power to ya! What?? I didn't think so... Move along @$$wipe.
  • Always wear your seat belt-not only will it hold you in your seat and behind the wheel in case you need to make an abrupt driving maneuver, but it will also protect you in a crash. That seat belt, yeah. I never drive without it. Just in case I need to chase that M&&%%er down and teach him about a little 'road etiquette'. Come on bad boy!
  • Avoid eye contact with the aggressive driver. What?? You lookin at me?? Come on with it shit head! Yeah, I'm talkin to YOU!!! (points with middle finger)
  • Ignore gestures, and refuse to return them. (signing with hands, various obscene gestures) You **beep beep beep with a beeping beep beeper!! Beep my beep-a-beeping beeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!**
  • Report aggressive drivers to the appropriate authorities by providing a vehicle description, license number, location, and if possible, direction of travel. I got yo' appropriate authorities RIGHT HERE M&%&#!#er!!! Yeahhh!!!
  • If you have a cellular phone, and can use it while driving safely, call the police. Many have special numbers such as 9-1-1. See this cellphone?!?! Yeah! I'm about to make an emergency phonecall right up your Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!
  • If an aggressive driver is involved in a crash farther down the road, stop at a safe distance from the crash scene, wait for the police to arrive, and report the driving behavior that you witnessed. ((Car screeching to a halt)). NOW!!! SEE??? Yeah, you finally got what you deserved you miserable bleeping bleeeeeep!!! See if you drive like that and cut out in front of somebody else again. Burn in Helll M&&$$&$&@##AHHHH!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YEAH TAKE THAT!! WOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (Various obscene gestures being made at person who got theirs as you screech off laughing).

My name is Aunt Jackie and I approve this message.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Every Monday's Nightmare

Is it really Monday again and the work week has really come to slap me in the face? I have got to do something about this reality I created. Why did I not go for the tropical island or the snowy wilderness?? I guess it's meant to be for now huh.

Complaint of the Day: People who send me like 20 "Fwd" joke/junk messages, one after the other. I don't really like forwards, but I deal with a few of them. I just think this is ridiculous though, one or two? Maybe... 20 in a row, torture. You're just begging me to "block" you.

There goes another one!! Geez... get a life!

Well, work is going to be steady and kind of hectic for the next few weeks, so much going on and an office relocation (not sure of exact date on that). I dread it though, I know change is imminent, it usually has the flavor of stale brew (hard to swallow). I guess every change has its pros and cons, but I always seem to experience changes that make everything harder to enjoy. Right now, the work flow and environment is just fine, and I wish we could keep it that way. I like the location, and the way we are set up. Anything disturbing all this is only going to cause me grief. Oh well, right?

In lieu of my Motorcycle Madness, the weekend was quite enjoyable. Saturday's post had a little blurb about our riding, and our trip to see my Mom and Dad. When we came back, I took Richie through the lake and scenic route home. It was very nice. However, once we went around the spillway, I spotted a huge swarm of dragonflies, which I was dreading a bit. I am not afraid of Dragonflies, actually, I love dragonflies. But going through them on my bike didn't seem like a fun plan. They remained high in the air, though, and I didn't see a swarm like that the rest of the way home. We stopped in at a gas station and topped off our gas tanks on the highway, and met up with another Biker of sorts (his name was Jackie too! Funny, I thought). It seems every where you go someone wants to talk about the motorcycles. "Like that paint job!" and "Cool lookin ride", along with "Mine's a 2001 Shadow 750". It's really cool, it brings a common ground to greet new faces, and low-five each other along the road, knowing you're part of something interesting... I just like that, sorry... I'm rambling on.

Self-portrait, I call it "Sweat and Flame" lol
[I don't look very feminine here-IK!!]


The windshields... as soon as we can get them that will be a plus, I guess. Richie has stated he doesn't want to go on any more long rides until he gets a windshield. Doesn't bother me that badly, although I think the Windshield might help out on the Interstates or something.

There is a quote I have seen and heard amongst motorcycle lovers, and it goes like this: "Only a biker knows why a dog hangs its head out the window." I've quoted that several times, to Mr. J's dismay. LOL! He just says, "Why do you keep repeating that?!?" and I just laugh and reply, "Because I thought it was a cool quote, and it's really true."

I, myself just cannot forgo the ride even though the wind might give me a run for my money. It's just too much fun. The wind smells so great. You will catch a delicious whiff of cook-out or campfire smoke, which I have always loved dearly, you smell the summer flowers, honeysuckle, and such. It's just the scent of the wind and the sense of freedom while you're out there enjoying the great outdoors. Occasionally, you will hit a stench, but it's not enough to deter me.

So yesterday (Sunday), I took off all by myself, and went down a favorite back road of mine, turned, hit the highway slightly, made a little trip, came back and parked. Then I had to run to Target and pick up a few things, which I had to do in my car since I have no room to store anything like that. I thought I was done, but before supper, I had to jump on Jimi and take one last ride of the weekend... I guess I'm addicted huh.

I took in a quiet Mississippi Sunset as I headed home for the night...

Guess that is about all I have to yammer on about today, as it is Monday and I have to get at least some work done.

Tomorrow is a WWC Day. I am not even sure of the words for this week as I have had my head in the clouds of motorcycle exhaust. Will it die down? I don't know for sure, all I know is that I am enjoying it and trying to work more every day towards appreciating every moment, and just having fun.

How was your weekend??

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Summer's A Gas

Well, just had to pop in for a quick weekend update... Richie and I got street legal for our bikes and we're all set and ready to go. We actually made a little mini trip to my Mom's yesterday on them and took the scenic route home this morning; it was a total blast. I loved every minute of it. The next order of business is to get the windshields soon, because the wind truly does become problematic when you hit 50 and over. We'll get to that soon though... Just enjoying being legit and able to ride. However, the weather is hot as hell and the bugs are out there slapping us around, so maybe the windshield will help with that, and I got a good pair of goggles. Anyroad... I'm riding around like a bad-azz and happy as a clam! :)

Since it is summer, and the heat is on super-high, a lot of people tend to want to drink cold beer, or liquor (or both), and think that's going to cool them off or to make them SEEM cool. Well, this next video is really a testament to the fact that nothing could be further from the truth... I thought we could use a laugh too, so here goes. "Drunk Men Having Accidents" is the title of this video. It's about a minute, 40 seconds long... and I LOL'd on this!



Also, if anyone remembers, I used to post up videos of The Farting Preacher, but I found this... "Mrs. Farting Preacher", which I got a decent laugh about. They make them sound funny, even when we know it isn't real. It sounds better than their sermon anyway. I am not sure who this woman is, but she's a real gas!


That's it for now, hope you enjoyed the videos. All this motorcycling has got me famished. I'm off for a quick bite to eat and a big glass of TEA!!! Later Dudes and Dudettes! ;) **Low 5**

Friday, July 18, 2008

Get Off My Cloud

Stuff bugging on my brain today... and other random thoughts in no particular order.

I woke up this morning thinking about how long this week has truly felt, I mean it seems like it's just been dragging on and on. I suspect this has something to do with my trying to get my motorcycle endorsement on my license, and just wanting to be out riding instead of doing anything else... but oh well. Jimi does not approve of sitting still, he demands to be ridden, and stone free.

Also, being unable to go and get the motorcycle endorsement on our license and not having any other licensed motorcycle-rider that can accompany us to the DMV... either that or Trailer the bike, which we only need a trailer for like an hour, and nobody has a trailer... Uhaul charges more and for a 24-hr period... Frustrating!

Elevator etiquette sucks in this town. I hate when I get to my floor, and no sooner than the doors open, someone else jumps on before I can even get off. I think people exiting the elevator should be allowed to get off first, then the others get on. I practice this, why can't the fancy-dancy fussy-stuck-up Lawyers... you guys are nobody. Have some respect for your fellow man.

Drivers who are wobbling and weaving around on the road, going 20 MPH not certain of what they are going to do next, and no matter which lane you get into, they weave over in front of you like they are oblivious that you are even there... Also, it's so assholy when you are going pretty slow, until someone decides they need to pass you and move on with their lives, and you promptly try to speed up and keep them from getting over, simply because you can't stand to be passed. I'm not trying to race you, I don't care anything about what you're doing, I just want to get to my destination without having to stare at your "My Kid Is an Honor Student at Shit-for-Brains High" bumper sticker all the way. Go-go gadget 'No-Child-Left-Behind-Act'!!! Good for you!

I know I bitch a lot about the drivers around here, but there are just so many idiots... and so little bandwidth.

I woke up late, with no time to finish drying my hair, or have breakfast, and it's another full moon, so I'm starving, irritated, and just want my motorcycle endorsement.

I'll probably come back and update my bitchings a bit later. :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

It's Mom & Dad's 46th Wedding anniversary. They Met in '61 married in 62 she says. They've had a long and loving one, I am very proud to have been a witness to that.

It's been a long day for me, but I just wanted to stop for a moment and recognize the wonderful two people who brought me into the world and raised me in such a loving and wonderful home... They are truly the best parents anyone could ever have.

I Love you Mom & Dad!!!
Happy Anniversary!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Signs and Graffiti (WWC)

This week is a little sad for the WWC, due to a death in Tink's fiancee's family. Tink and Hoop: My thoughts are with you and yours during this difficult time. I'm so sorry to hear about Hoop's brother, my sincere condolences, and may you and your family have peace and understanding at this time.

I will continue on with my entries for this week's Weekly Words Challenge (WWC). This week's words are "Sign" and "Graffiti". Memphis is easy enough to gather for that, but hope you enjoy... AJ


Graffiti Speaks For Itself














A Sign that the Spirit of Big E is Near...


Signs somewhere on Union Avenue


An Old Store Front Sign



A Sign That I Definitely Went The Wrong Way


Signs of Rain


Revisiting This B.B. King's Sign


Happy Tuesday... AJ

Monday, July 14, 2008

Gig's Up

South Park gig went well Friday night, and I appreciate everyone who was in the area and attempted to make it out... The support of friends and family is very important, and does make a difference. Means alot to us.

I'm not feeling like a long post, so I will just give you a quick run-down.

We started playing sometime between 9:30 and 10:00, and we split it up into two sets, just like we did at Stage Stop last time. We had some new faces, and also some familiar faces. Richie's friends, Justin, Zack, Lev and some of Richie's coworkers came, and from my end, really just Glenda and Byrd... I appreciate that, and was glad to see them. Others attending were acquaintances of our Bass players, so we made new friends and fans.

It was a sweaty set, we were outdoors and There were insects abound. I sprayed myself down with Mosquito repellent and gave it my all. We were attacked by a Locust after the first couple of songs, and I just make a quip into the mic, "He must've not liked that song!!" Of course, I made a fool of myself ducking to get away from him, as he seemed to have turned his attention to me.


"Pump Up The Volume Bi-otch!"

Of course, Richie wasn't fond of the Locust either. Finally, he left us alone and we were able to knock out a swarm-free set!

Once over, we gave our first autographs as a band, as Meg brought some of our t-shirts to sell, we autographed t-shirts... I felt a little odd doing so, I mean, who are we really?? But it was fun, and flattering nonetheless.

All in all, good night, and we will probably be announcing more gig dates really soon... we have a couple of things in the works. So summer is in full swing.

In other news, of course, I told you guys about the Motorcycles... You've seen a couple pics, but here is a good shot of them side-by-side.

Then, here is "Jimi" by himself...
Oh, don't forget, give me your input on my new header... like it? Hate it?? Just curious.

Other than that, just have yourselves a fantastic Monday!!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

So In Love

This is my new love... my new obsession. Feel free to drool.

This isn't an actual photo, but it's exactly what mine looks like, and I have photos, but just haven't been able to upload them yet... give me a moment, I've been a little distracted.

What do you think?? (If you're going to lecture me then just save your breath).

Please welcome the new member of my family, "Jimi".
This calls for another Tattoo... don't you think??


Do you like my new header?? (Yes/No)

Friday, July 11, 2008

I'll Rock, Chop 'N Roll You

As I made my way in to work this morning, I looked around at the cartoon-like mayhem that surrounded me. It's something that you can get numbed to because there are so many idiots, and it's just every day, all day long. But when I looked around, I just sat in disbelief and wondered if everyone felt this way, or was it JUST ME? Do the crazed numskulls simply pick me out to "cut off", or to swerve over towards, or drive slowly in front of, as if to annoy the piss out of me? I think, perhaps I have given my fellow drivers too much credit. Maybe they really are just that stupid, and they aren't even aware of it. I mean, the newer car models are made with such complicated Turn Signals, it's no wonder they don't know how to operate them, and that they commonly mistake the brake for the gas pedal. Should I just ease up on them?

Hey YOU!! No-Child-Left-Behind, Hooked On Phonics, Riding The Short Bus, "Where'd You Get Your Driver's License, Mickey-D's ASSHOLES???!?!" I'M NOT LOVING IT!!!

Made the turn off the highway, extremely frustrated and ready for the week to be over with, and made one more attempt at finding a decent song on the radio. In the spirit of my terrible Karma, ("If It weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all..."), the next song that zapped me was the famous hit by "Rick Astley".

I can't believe after all the crap I was put through simply trying to get to work to make a living, the universe felt that it had to kick me in the kidneys by "Rick Rolling" me.

If you're not familiar with the term Rick Roll, then Click Here, because once again, Wiki brings us the ultimate in education. Don't worry, if you don't want to read that, or can't read, then this video will do the trick.



O.k., normally that happens when they mislead you into watching the video by posting it up as something you are searching for, and in reality they have replaced that with the Rick Astley one. If you watched the video, then you really just wanted to get Rick Rolled.

I actually had the chance to double up on this with another extreme self-mutilation video that went around not too long ago, the "BME Pain Olympics Video". I don't know if you heard about that, and I don't exactly know how real it was, but it was so fierce that my big bad husband could not even watch it. I wanted to know what the fuss was all about, so I went to WATCH THE BME PAIN OLYMPICS (DICK CHOP) VIDEO. I have a strong stomach. If you don't, do NOT click the link (and 18+!!!).

Somehow, by accident, I flashed the screen over to Richie and his friend, Chris while still playing Rick Astley's video in the background, so the mutilation went right with his song. I found that to be quite funny. Just picture a guy chopping off his genitals with a hatchet to the tune of 'Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down... never gonna say goodbye, never gonna make you cry... (or HURT you)'. You see where this is going... I, having such a sick sense of humor, thought this was hilarious. But by the nauseated looks on the guys faces, they didn't quite enjoy it as much. :)

It seems I 'Dick Chopped' AND 'Rick Rolled' them at the same time, which I'm told is both depraved and cruel. Pardone Moi!!!

But it is Friday guys, and I made it through the week. I now must go and make it through my band gig tonight, but I want to first appreciate YOU--My readers, my blog family. I make you the Rick Astley Promise, and I intend to keep that.

I, Aunt Jackie, Solemly swear:

"I'm never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie OR hurt you."


Come to think of it, I would really love to Dick Chop
AND Rick Roll "The Two Coreys"



Wait, did I say that aloud?!?! Sorry!!


O.k., o.k... I digress... so if you EVER do any of the above to your SELF, I can't be held responsible, though I will offer a non-judgmental ear.

So please, look both ways before crossing the street, a watch out for those bad drivers, dick choppers and Rick Rollers Y'all!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Heat Of The Moment

Jinks had a couple of cool posts that I recently read, one of which highlighted nuts and profuse masturbation, and the other spoke sorely about the heat, and her way of dealing.

I know everyone is feeling it, even in those places that we in the south have heard tall tales of that enjoy mild summers and harsh winters, I'm sure the heat is on at least 7 or 8. So we find ourselves smack-dab in the "Dog Days of Summer", right?

Being from the south, I always wonder where funny little nicknames and phrases come from... so I always have to look it up. According to Wikipedia's definition of "Dog Days": The phrase Dog Days or "the dog days of summer", refers to the hottest, most sultry days of summer. They are a phenomenon of the northern hemisphere that usually falls between early July and early September but the actual dates vary greatly from region to region, depending on latitude and climate. Dog Days can also define a time period or event that is very hot or stagnant, or marked by dull lack of progress.

"It's Doggone Hot As Hell!!! Move Over Rover!"

Yep... sounds like that's right about where we are. When we were kids, it was so easy... all we had to do is strip down to our skivvies and go in the back yard and run through the sprinkler all afternoon. Or if you weren't equipped with a pool, and didn't live close to one, then those little plastic numbers from Wal*Mart did the trick. When all else failed, the water hose, or a nice mud puddle were not off the menu.

That sort of thing doesn't mesh well with Work Attire... believe me, the boss caught me earlier rolling around in a puddle of coolant in the garage, and well... o.k., I'm joking. So, how am I personally handling this phenomenon, you might ask? Since I'm stuck here on Adulthood street, I've been hitting up cool baths in my claw foot bath tub, for one; Laying off the coffee [I still drink it at Mom's house, but I haven't made any of my own in some time]. You see, Mom drinks it rain, shine, ice storm, or heat warn... kind of warms your heart doesn't it?. I've been consuming mass quantities of 'unsweetened iced tea' (another RARITY in the south). Yeah, I know tea is a natural diuretic, but I can't help myself, it's refreshing, and it hits the spot.

Other moments lately, I've spent WISHING that Richie would've gotten off his *motorcycle-lovin ass, and gotten some of his beer guzzling friends over to help clean it up so we could all take a dip. Aside from worrying that the 'no-child-left-behind-affected kids' in my neighborhood might ride the short bus into the pool and drown, I would surely love to cool off at the end of a long, hard day in the cement pond.

Does the heat really make us crazy?? Maybe it does. Richie finally took the plunge and is now the proud owner of a 2007 Honda VTX 1300R. He's only 32, and I don't know if that is old enough to have a "mid life crisis"? On the contrary, I think he's just trying to enjoy life... and I've never seen anything wrong with that. Besides, he promises me he will keep his head, and practice the utmost safety in this regard. We've even signed up for a Rider's class, to help with insurance (which wasn't bad at all), and to assist us in getting the endorsement on our license for motorcycles... So Huh!

Also, don't discount Moi... I am not far behind, and one day when I get my car paid off I am considering this myself... with gas prices and rising inflation (and my known motorcycle fetish), I can see myself straddling one. ;)

Summertime's been a'Rockin too of course, since we've picked up on our gigging with the band... It's just getting started, but we're earning our keep and wiping the sweat off our brow living the Rock-n-Roll life... right?? This Friday is no different, my band, 'SAP' will be playing in a little hole-in-the-wall called "South Park Barbecue". I hear the food is good, and it's a nice, friendly atmosphere, so wish us luck there.

Like Jinks, I too enjoy taking in a movie or two, we rent when we can, or find a good one on t.v. Movies are great, especially if you're lucky enough to have a nearby "drive in" theatre, where you can take your own drinks and snacks, and enjoy a bit more privacy and relaxation... Drive-In Movies bring back great memories too, I'm sure for us all. There aren't as many around as there used to be, but Memphis still has a decent enough one to fulfill my drive-in needs, that is-when I can get Richie to take me out.

For the most part, I am simply biding my time though and dreaming of fall... crisp cool air, and beautiful dying leaves to decorate my world... In the meantime, I am trying my best not to throttle my fellow man, and to keep it extremely cool under my collar... that is until I can get some real relief from this Memphis heat. It's a bastard.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Ordinary Average Tuesday

"What?!?! Where's AJ's WWC?!?!"

Oh guys, I'm sorry... I am just not feeling it today. I don't have a thing that I feel worthy of the WWC (Tink's words for this week are "Age" and "Beauty"), I don't act my age and I don't feel beautiful, so I am letting y'all down today.

I'm just worn out. The summer heat has me feeling like a dog lately. I'm really sorry, I will get back into the game next week hopefully, and maybe will have had a chance to get out and snap more pics and stuff.

Therefore, today before I get back to the grind, I'll share with you another cool website I ran across... It's http://www.unscrewamerica.org.

Give that a spin, and check back later for other updates from the Forrest. You really just never know.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Tired



What to do... hmmm, weekend recap?

Thursday nightmare: Richie started drinking margaritas early, after work, and an argument ensued with a good friend of mine over something that was said. It turned into a bad night, and I felt awful for this friend having to go through it since I only wanted to have a little coffee and some girl chat... But that's why I just lovvveeee alcohol. You never know what kind of hell it will put you through before the night's over. We made it through that, fortunately. I don't quite want to go into all the details of the ridiculous causes, I'm just sorry it was such a bad night for everyone involved and all. So... some other time perhaps.

Friday, the 4th was spent pleasantly at my parents' house... we had a nice visit, and had my Mom's catfish... rather impromptu and doubly delicious. She cooked it on the fly kind of, and we enjoyed it, even though it was too late to eat dinner probably. It was the 4th, I deserved a little happiness... right?? :)

Once again, we had a good gig Saturday night, my band played two sets, and we had 1 band opening up for us, they had a cool sound. I guess we might do more gigs and try to really get into the swing of it... at least that's what the plan is at the moment. I had a fun time Saturday night.

Sunday was spent recuperating... just with the late night, I had to laze around and just recharge. Richie and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with the intention of catching the UFC fight between Memphis' own Quentin "Rampage" Jackson and Forrest Griffin... except they weren't playing the repeat of the fight, so we ended up eating and playing trivia... I beat Richie's score in the first round, and the second game I lost to him due to the fact that I screwed around with the menu on the controller, and got myself accidentally logged off, and unable to start on time a system malfunction with the game controller. ;)

That about catches us up, and now we have Monday looming. Hooray for that... I'll catch you guys in the funny papers.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Wired

I'm winding down, but it took a while for the buzz of being on stage to wear off. The sound was mixed much better tonight, and I feel like it went really well. Miss Nita was quite complimentary of our sets tonight, and she didn't give me any extra 'stage advice' tonight. Plus for the first time, our band collected some "door fee". That's a big deal because so far we have played for free trying to get our name out there! Very cool.

Anyways, we only had one other band to play with us, so we had two (2) sets tonight, first one we played 9 songs and then took about a 20 minute break, and had a second set wherein we played another 7 songs and we were done. I was more "loosened up" I think, and felt more comfortable... Not a huge crowd, but then I didn't expect there to be a ton of people for some reason the day after July 4th. Was a fun night nonetheless. I'm starting to be quite aware of how much of my material speaks of death and destruction... why do I not write love songs anymore?? Kind of curious eh? Not really, though, given the state of the world.

Well I was getting ready to hit the sack, here at nearly 5:00 a.m., and I was thinking on that song by The Doors, "The Ghost Song"... I like the lyrics to that. Good way to end the night, good song... Now time to dream a little more.

Awake.
Shake dreams from your hair
My pretty child, my sweet one.
Choose the day and choose the sign of your day
The days divinity
First thing you see.

A vast radiant beach in a cool jeweled moon
Couples naked race down by its quiet side
And we laugh like soft, mad children
Smug in the wooly cotton brains of infancy
The music and voices are all around us.

Choose they croon the ancient ones
The time has come again
Choose now, they croon
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake

Enter again the sweet forest
Enter the hot dream
Come with us
Everything is broken up and dances.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Cigarettes and Coffee

I don't do Cigarettes, nope... never been a smoker. But I enjoy coffee very much, especially when it's made by and enjoyed with my wonderful Mother... She makes the best coffee ever... or maybe it's just because it's her. :) Anyway, first I'd like everyone to enjoy this video by the wonderful Otis Redding, "Cigarettes and Coffee".

Couldn't find a live one, so stare at the pic I guess while listening to the cool song. Or you could just continue to read my blog entry while listening. Think of it as 'accompaniment music'.




Now on to the latest "AJ Jibber Jabber". All is o.k. here, I guess. I'm just making it through the week and wishing that my band's Gig at The Stage Stop was over with... It really separates up my holiday weekend, and I fear that I am going to go back to work just as tired as when I finished the week... Is that what holidays are all about?? I don't really know anymore. Holidays, for the most part, suck.

These Dreams...

No more Z dreams so far this week, but I have had others... My Grandmother was in my dream the night before last (I was never close to her--this is my Mom's mom "Mamaw". I don't know why, I just never felt like she treated my Mom fairly, and I never enjoyed her company.) In the dream, my sister Debbie was there. We were in Mamaw's old house that she lived in before my Evil Uncle Max uprooted her so that she would catapult to her death... that's another story though... one not worth going into.

Debbie was 'fixing Mamaw's Hair', she rolled and teased it, and I don't get this because Debbie has never been a hair stylist that I know of, and Mamaw always went to Evil Uncle Max's ex-wife Aunt Jerri (I think). So go figure... weird anyways, but nonetheless entertaining.

Then I have had dreams with my Husband, where he and I were doing different things, just fun stuff, normal things that we do sometimes, and stuff we have discussed wanting to do... So that's all fine and good.

No more weird ones to report just yet though, but I will detail them. And for BBC (over at Spirit's Doings, just a note... I do the dream stuff because I am and have always been interested in that sort of thing. I actually ENJOY analyzing them and remembering them. Dreams are way better than reality, so I will continue to work with them, and have fun in dreams... If you don't enjoy yours, then they must be no fun. :) What's the problem with that? I like it, so that's what I do... I guess I'll just continue to "Monkey Around" with them then, eh?? ;)

Well nothing else to report. I don't know how the 4th of July weekend is going to turn out yet, I am playing it by ear and taking it all one step at a time... We'll see, I'm open and just going to enjoy what comes along (as long as my gig goes o.k.)

That being said, please enjoy a bit of bullshit now wherein I will fill out this intriguing survey about myself... It's something I got from a MySpace friend's bulletin. I thought I would just entertain you with it, and I know you will love that!!! :)

Here goes:

Did you have any unread text messages when you woke up?
No, I had one later though from my B.F.F! :)

How many times a week do you shower?
Often, but I love a good bubble bath even more!

Are you fluent in a language other than your native?
Not so much... I want to learn though, and have been learning some Spanish from friends.

Would you rather listen to black metal or country?
Metal (although I am eclectic).

What color are your underwear?
Black today (sometimes I go sans)

How many uncles do you have?
Who cares.

Do you know how to Salsa dance?
No, but it would probably be fun to try.

Whats your favorite flavor ice-cream?
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough I guess

What is your biggest worry in life right now?
Finances and bills.

If you could re-live one memory what would it be?
The Times I spent with Z.

Do you give up easily?
I try not to, but I have at times.

What is your lucky number?
9

What are your parents middle names?
Moms: "Marie" and Dad's "Glen" (Or Vick is it Glenwood?)

Which of your cousins is closest to your age?
I don't know really, April I think

Are you friends with anyone named Nicole?
No. Is Anybody REALLY FRIENDS with someone named Nicole?? Srsly (sigh)

What is the closest red item to you?
A Pocket-sized pack of Kleenex

What kind of computer do you have?
At home, we built our own systems, and use XP. At work I have a Dell and a Mac.

How many credit cards do you have?
None

Do you enjoy doing laundry?
I despise it.

Do you like a warm or hot shower?
As hot as I can stand it

What color is the carpet in your house?
A Nasty 70s brown, and the hallway is red and bedrooms: 1 gold and 1 cream (Yeah I need new carpet, but I can't frikkin afford it right now)

What is the weather like right now?
Hot and muggy as usual in Memphis

What year was your dad born?
1927

What are your car payments?
Enough to annoy me, but I will be paid off in January.

That's when really, really want to buy THIS:


Do u know anyone that has 4 kids?
yeah... My Friend Awa!

If you were president what would be your main goal?
I have no earthly idea, honestly I have not given that thought.

If your best friend ditched you to go to the movies with his/her boy friend/girlfriend would it make you angry?
I guess not, In a way if you make plans you shouldn't break them, but I guess it's not that big of a deal... We've probably all done it at some point ?

Are you happy with your relationship status?
Yes I am!

If you got (or got someone) pregnant at this age and your partner left you, would you keep the baby?
Yes, at this point I would.

Who is the last person to talk to you on the phone?
I guess my Drummer, Rob.

Have you ever been to a concert?
Quite a few.

What colors would you like to have at your wedding?
Probably blue or green and white (If I ever had a 'ceremony')

Are you in shape?
Yes I have A SHAPE, whether it is good or not is relative eh?

Honestly, have you ever had more than one gf/bf at a time?
Yes

What is your favorite magazine?
I read Cosmo sometimes, ehh.

What subject in school are/were you best in?
Art and English/Literature

What is your favorite color?
Black and/or Deep Green

What is your advice for Britney Spears?
Go crawl under a rock and let someone have your kids.

What is your favorite movie of all time?
Too hard to narrow this one down really... Geez! So many I like. One of my favorites would be "Old School" with Will Ferrell or "The Big Lebowski"... I love the Godfather also!

Do you smoke?
After sex?? Um, well I haven't actually looked! Oh, sorry--No I am not a "Smoker".

Do you drink?
Occasionally, but usually you'll catch me inhaling large glasses of Unsweetened Iced Tea with Lemon, or Water

What are your plans for today and tomorrow?
Goofing off, enjoying an extra day off work, lunch with my "BFF" (Tamra), getting ready for my My Band's Gig (SAP) at the Stage Stop Saturday Night. And then trying to spend some family time, if possible.

So that's the scoop then... I'll be updating, and if you are out for the holiday then I hope you enjoy your 4th of July. Everyone stay safe, and make the most out of it. Cheers to you all!! Happy Thursday!