Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I.C.U.

My Father is in I.C.U., where they wanted to keep him through today, so they could watch the condition closely. His cat scans did indeed show bleeding on the brain, and he had hit his head with the fall. They weren't completely sure whether there was already some bleeding in the brain and that might have contributed to the fall, or whether it was just from the fall, but they considered that it was serious. So far he's doing ok, and the swelling seems to be going down. As long as that goes down completely and the bleeding stops it should be good... if anything happens otherwise, or there is a need for surgery it could be serious given his diabetes, age and conditions.

It looks hopeful though! I appreciate your wonderful thoughts, prayers and support through the situation, and so does my family.

I guess after they're done with him in I.C.U., he'll be moved to a room, and I hope his stay won't be too long. He longs for his big screen T.V. and his "TV Land" channel... I hope he has a speedy recovery and that they can take away the label of "serious"... any head trauma can be.

How I was raised to know of love.

This life is a hard one, I don't want to see anything happen to him before his time, but I also don't want to see them suffer... I know everyone goes through these things and also that we all experience loss as a part of life, but it's always a lesson and a hard one to learn, right? It's one we all must endure, but it's so much easier when you realize that there are people who care and lend a kind word and their support... Thanks so much to all my friends at home and out here in blogland. Every single one of you Rocks at the top of my list!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Family Emergency

I won't be doing my Weekly Words Challenge today, I just got a call from my sister. My Dad fell this morning as he and Mom were going out for Breakfast and he's hit his head, and is being taken to the hospital. I'm not sure what's going on, but I doubt I'll be around... Will post when I can.

AJ

Birthday Spankings

Today is my best friend's birthday! This is not my sister by blood, but she is my blood sister. I want to send her the sincerest Birthday wishes. Divorce the number baby! You will always have it goin on no matter what!! Everyone send her some birthday shout outs, and I'll just dedicate this post to my "best mate" Tamra.



A short history of our friendship is in order I think, today.

Roll with me here. :)

I knew who she was in High School, although we weren't friends or really acquainted back then. I do remember that we were interested in the same guy once, as told to me by another mutual acquaintance. The funny part about that is that we both got him as a conquest (not at the same time you perverts, different points in our lives), and neither one of us were impressed... lol! All's well that ends well, really.

So after High School, I got a job at our local Wal*Mart, and worked with a girl named Sherry. Sherry was Marge Simpson in the flesh (so named by her Dad jokingly if I remember correctly), because of her WAY TALL hair. Now in this time period, BIG HAIR was still in style, but this girl took it to the limit. And caked on make-up, to the hilt. Her hair would be a foot tall and she would look in the mirror complaining it was flat... We've enjoyed a few giggles thinking back about Sherry.

At any rate, Sherry was Tamra's best friend back in the day, they grew up together, etc. Sherry was my work acquaintance and then sort of friend. For some reason, she would never get the two of us together with her at the same time. We've often wondered back about this, but who knows. Eventually, we started hanging out about the time she was leaving town. She moved away, we hung out and have been fast friends ever since. We've been through some great times, been there for bad times, and we really can't blackmail each other, because we both have too much on the other one!!! ;)

So anyways, Happy Birthday Tamra, I know you are glad that you're not really getting birthday spankings!!! Have a wonderful day. I'll always be here for you, and I appreciate you being there for me & all we've been through... I Love you! x

Monday, January 28, 2008

Land Of The Crazy Bat

You guessed it. Another title from the Random Titles To Stimulate The Imagination page. haha I know, I'm on a weird roll... whatever.

I was thinking of posting a video today, but then I got mad at myself for "copping out" and taking the easy way of posting a video. I hate when I feel void of anything interesting or worthy to say. I know this is blogging, and not every post has to be pure gold, but I like to at least feel like I put a little of myself out there and at least remotely entertained or made you guys think.

I got mixed reviews about the 'ball sack pen holder' from my last post. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself it was hilarious looking to me. I'm thinking of getting Mr. J to pose for a ball sack pen holder, but if I do rest assured that it will blow that ball sack out of the water... the man has an admirable ball sack. ((giggles to self)) I know what you're all thinking, nobody's ball sack is more attractive than ball sack, right?? (If you're a guy mainly). Well I guess everyone is a bit biased in regard to ball sacks. It's all good, and I totally understand. I would make a personal ball sack sculpture for each of you if I had the time, and I wasn't tied to just the one magnificent ball sack... Did anyone count how many times I said ball sack in this paragraph? Just curious.

Ok, weekend update as I didn't post yesterday. My trip to Mom's house went well, they seemed to be doing fine. I've determined that I am going to have to set-up some sort of personal rule for myself to go down on designated days at least maybe once a week to check on Mom and offer my services to help her. She won't call and ask us, but she made it clear that she used to do that to my grandmother and that's 'the way she is', so I took the hint that she was never going to ask for help, but she fully expected that if we care, or worry then we need to make our own decisions and come down, not ask, just do... so that's what I'm going to do. I know it is hard on her taking care of my father in his declining diabetic condition, after all she's not even 100 pounds soaking wet, and stronger than anyone I know still, but she has a hard time. He has good days and bad days, she mostly just has stressful days... I want to help, I am just going to have to follow my gut instinct and do what I deem necessary. She'll appreciate it and know that I really meant well.

I don't have to "grow up" and lose my childlike innocence to "TCB" (Take Care of Business). LOL I can do what needs to be done and then revert back into my dreamland afterwards. I have to be strong and make it through everything that's coming my way because after all this is our "Earth Reality", and I know that my lessons in this phase are not yet over, and I'm sure I'll have many things to go through. If I got any of the good things from my Mom, I will survive like her... Just so glad I have her, as well as my Dad coursing through my veins... I know I can do anything, if I just have the proper motivation (that's the gene that I am lacking). :)

Anyways, enough drab rambling from me... hope your week starts well and ends well as well... AJ x

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Foolish Gyrations

I've done it again, only I tried out A Different "Random Song Title Generator". Hey this is fun. :) And I'm feeling a little nutty, kind of like my new pen holder (don't ask who the model was).

Anyways, I'm popping in early today, and on a Saturday at that! We're getting a little freezing rain, which is small reward in the name of the snow I have been begging for all this time. I am on the shitlist of the gods. I realize that now. My Karma is evidently as hot, evil and raunchy as Satan's Taint. (Satan's Taint is also a name I made up once for my husband, Mr. J when trying to think of a cool "Punk Band Name" for him to use for a new punk project he wanted to start at the time, I thought it was rather clever. Hell, can you think of any single worse place to be than Satan's Taint??)

Oh sorry, I digress. The freezing rain... although not snow, if it actually ices over is reality in motion as Hell (Memphis) actually freezes over... Hell, oh well that just takes me right back to Satan's taint.

I'm in a new phase it would seem, I've begun philosophical and psychotic rambling here and there. Just bear with me, It will get worse in a minute. I'm just getting started. Maybe it's a good thing, I have been on a dry creative spell with my writing lately, and whatever spurred the slight change, and ended the writers block is surely appreciated.

Also, just a note: I went back in and responded to the last few post comments, as I hadn't had much of a chance to so do during the week. I usually try to respond to your comments, when I have time, and I mean to do so--Sometimes I just get caught up and don't get the chance to get back. Some people check for that sort of thing (for instance, ME. I always come back to see if you responded to my comments). And then some people don't... and could care less. I think it's nice to do it when possible, but I don't get angry about it or anything.

So if you'd like, you can check back for that, my comments back. Other than that, I really don't have anything else to bring to the table this morning really. Have yourself one heck of a happy Saturday. Shave your butt, clean the earwax out of your ears... go crazy! :D

Friday, January 25, 2008

I'm My Own Dangerous Spoon

I'm silly sometimes. I don't care, I enjoy being silly and immature. I have OCD and ADD. [In fact, just for a goof I took This Quiz and it scored me 69: Moderate ADHD lol!] I guess this first paragraph proves a point... because it was all just scattered gibberish that had nothing to do with my point (Wait, did I even have a point?? What was it?). Haha! Oh, yes... What I was going to say was that I really get bored with my Blog titles sometimes, and I ran out of creative things to name the posts, so just for a goof today I went to Random Titles to Stimulate The Imagination in desperation, and came up with today's title!! Actually, now that I re-read the thing, it is more true than I thought... I am my own dangerous spoon!!! WTF!

Speaking of WTF, I recently got invited to participate in WTF Friday, a blog run by some of our best! Let's see, the contributers are:
I'd say that is one excellent group of people!!! :) So for my first entry, I submitted the article from the other day, remember, the one about the idiots who got sick from buying a tattoo from the "Door-to-Door Tattoo Artist", and then the following article my husband sent me the other day that I found quite interesting:

Someone has a really serious "Sweet Tooth" problem!
Honey Bun slaying adds 25 years to sentence

WTF is WRONG with people??? Don't answer that, we already know... it is a tragic case.

All in all, every day is a challenge, right? We are expected to know who we are, what we really want, how to get it, and also exactly what's on everyone else's minds, right?? Like aren't we supposed to be mind readers? Yeah... um, right. I wish I could. In fact, if I had the ability to read minds, I would also want to have it with the bonus of "mind control". Then I could live in my perfect world... and execute my evil plan!

Meanwhile, I will settle for having a semi-pain free day at work, the occasional flipping off of the asshole driver in front, behind or beside me, and my MUSIC!!! However, even music sometimes is a hard road... as AC/DC taught us, "It's a Long Way To The Top If You Wanna Rock & Roll!" Rock on Bon!! Rock on...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Too Many Ironies In The Fire

I am a sheep in the ever-growing cyber-meadow of life... I have a google homepage. I decorated it with all kinds of "cool web parts"... I get the Quotes of the day, because frankly I love quotations. I always have. I get a giggle out of some, and inspiration from others. I even write one myself here or there. When scanning my google homepage this morning, the following quote stood out to me (for some odd reason).

"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever." -Anonymous

Way to prove a point huh? Isn't it true though, I mean wise sayings, philosophical word vomit, it's always a hit... Some people we know already, the actors and famous folk who've spewed 'words of the wise', and sometimes it's because of the wise word vomit that said individual might get noticed, right?? I think this "Anonymous" has the game all figured out though, he or she is also quite cocky enough thinking that the "one word name" is going to take off... please!

In other news, I am still addicted to Vick's Vap-O-Rub. Menthol is so cool, seriously... I mean besides the cooling menthol sensation. It smells great, feels good anywhere you put it on your skin (well I mean with an exception or two-lol not that I've tried anything odd, just sayin!).

I've made another "My Awesome Mix" CD... I call it "My Awesome Mix" because of that scene in Boogie Nights, you know, the 'drug deal gone bad', where Alfred Molina's character was running around in his gold lamay robe and underwear, dancing to songs like "Jesse's Girl" and "Sister Christian". I always laugh my ass off at that scene... and if you notice at one point, it flashes to where his tape flips over (you know because he is rich and has the utmost in high-tech gadgetry at the time, so his tape automatically flips over. Mine would've been the manual kind), anyways when the tape flips over you see the label reads "My Awesome Mix Tape #6". That just kills me!!! It's so cheesy, but that is one of the best movies ever. I swear if you STILL have not watched Boogie Nights, do it... yeah, right now. If you don't have time, then at least watch the scene I'm talking about below... enjoy the madness of the loud popping, and hilarity of the scene in general.


Anyway, I'm off to observe more Memphis madness, apathy, bad drivers, general malaise and sickness that infects our city daily... it should be a good time. You guys stay safe out there... and as always if you can't be good, at least be good at it. ;)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Ride It On

Lately, aside from my philosophical stent with Picasso the other day, I have felt rather wordless. Wordless is kind of unusual for me... normally, I have a great deal that I can usually carry on about (interesting or not).

So I'm trying to work myself out of that. I tend to get worked up sometimes, and I crawl up into my shell and try to retreat from the world, and can become anti-social when that happens... wanting to keep to myself, and hide.

This week, so far hasn't been that ecstatic for me. We had the holiday Monday, as I mentioned yesterday, and that was o.k. because I got to visit my Mom, Dad and Sisters. Yesterday was one of those hum-drum days though. I think it was a full moon, and it was so uneventful and boring to me. Nothing seemed to go right, and also I didn't eat right and ended the day feeling like shit... I managed to walk a mile before band practice, which got me feeling a little better, then practice went not-too-bad, so I felt better after that too, then we had to hit the grocery store on the way home, and Richie and I had another argument about financial crap, which left me feeling rock bottom again.

This morning, I'm making it a little better. I'm not feeling AS woeful, but I'm not pumped up, not in the least. I have vowed to whip myself into shape about the dietary slips, and stop being tempted by all things shitty. Richie and I did really well the very first go-around we had with our diet and fitness, and there is nothing stopping me but myself... I can't let these mood swings and days that I don't think are going my way to shoot me down. It's like a drug or something, if you engage in some behavior that temporarily makes you feel better (such as the shitty food), you will invariably crash at the end of the day and feel worse than ever. I think that combined with just some inner conflicts I have been having worked me into a negative frenzy.

I'm trying to get back to the positive... I am trying to learn to rely only on my own positive thoughts and emotions to stay afloat, and not let others affect me. We all know that is a hard thing to do though.

Have some errands to run at lunch, and I think I'll do that, and maybe write a little or something instead of having anything bad. Last week and this week just seem to be trying to take swings at me, but I will prevail! :)


Have a great hump day, all of my beloved blog family... never doubt how hard you all ROCK!!!

Gmina Dębica

Cindi had a Meme, she didn't tag anyone specific but it was kinda cool, so I decided to participate. So here is mine. It was fun! Here were said instructions.

Here's how it goes. You are about to have your own band's CD cover. Follow these directions Go to......
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:RandomThe first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together.

Like Cindi et al, I will tag whoever would like to do it. Let me know in the comments if you did it so I can check yours out!

How fun was that??? :)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge #19!

Nothing else to call it really, and not been very witty. I (guess) you guys have noticed that I didn't post all weekend. Well, I thought about it, but I had nothing interesting to bring to the table. I tried to think of feelings and ideas or anything I really had on my mind, but came up blank. Hope you'll forgive me. I will post more today and this week. I'll get back in the swing!!

Today's Weekly Words Challenge, brought to us as always by the Fabuloso Tink of Pickled Beef, is themed "Envy" and "Triangle". I admittedly dug into my archive of photos from fall, which were not that long ago, but still MINE... and brought to you the following items... I'll do better next week!!

Triangle(s)...

Always capturing signs and windows, etc from Restaurants downtown... This bar called "Swig" has a very cool logo, which does in fact include "Triangles"!


What would a Memphis photo be without the Pyramid?? Memphis' ultimate Triangle!


Envy...
I'm completely envious of this guy, out on the lake so peaceful and serene, in the chilly foggy morning... Ahhh.

I'm envious of the sky and its beauty... its ability to become anything it wants to, with its brilliant colors and lovely cloud formations.

Bonus!!! :)
Right along Beale St. near Second, this statue immortalizes The King.



Aside from that, the weekend was pretty boring. A friend of mine came by for a visit on Saturday night and we just hung out for a while, then yesterday I went down for a visit with my Mom and Dad, and all of my sisters showed up so we had a little family reunion. It was nice... Weird that it was just Mom and Dad (as much as he participated, because he doesn't hang in the kitchen that much, mainly watches T.V. Land)... and just all of her daughters... lol

Now it's back to the grind with the next holiday being "Presidents Day" in February... The year is already popping isn't it?? It too, will be over before we even bat an eye. Holidays are cool though, I enjoy any day that we get paid and don't have to come in. Who wouldn't??

Ok well that's it for me today, and I will do my best to bring more enjoyment, philosophical, comedic or otherwise throughout the week... Check back when you can!! I miss all of you when you don't come around. I will try to blog visit myself as soon as I get a bit more free time today... I promise!!! :)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Channeling Picasso

Here I am, one amazing woman, still carrying on the tradition of apples... Here is mine, a little knowledge I'm passing you from my own tree of knowledge and life too.

I felt in an open mood today, and I thought I would contemplate some of the insights that our great friend,
Pablo Picasso left us.

The bold are a few quotations by Picasso, and I will attempt to expand on his words with my very own grey matter.

Everything you can imagine is real.
Just look around you at the world you have created... It's beautiful, it's dangerous, it's joyful, it's insane, it's nirvana, It's ugly, it's serene, it's an Armageddon. You're all such talented artists and geniuses yourselves, every move you make is a brush stroke on an ever-growing mad masterpiece... the art of Life... Never stop imagining, lest you cease creating... and you are capable of anything... limited only by You.

Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
Think about that for a moment... even if only a beautiful painting, the brush is a destroyer of all that is the fiber on the canvas. Birth, creation of man, impossible if not for the destruction of another, on physical, emotional and cellular levels. Structures are torn down and new structures in their place, and the earth itself is an ever-changing chemical miracle... destruction and creation, the endless circle of life.

I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.
How have we learned anything in life except to jump in and give it a try?? We didn't know how to be born, but we imagined destruction, then creation... here we are. We want to learn something? Observe, Read, or Imagine, then you know... now, go... DO.

If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes.
Really... what if we could? Now I know there is some half-wit out there who is going to read this, then 'try it at home'... no, don't do that. Please! Leave your brain intact... Still, imagine the possibilities that we could achieve if we could only throw away all that conditioned thinking that we've gotten simply from following along like sheep... We watch people, we observe it's life. It's necessary. What's not necessary is automatically assuming that what the others are doing and thinking is right... You have a brain, you have a mind, and you have eyes... separate them out. Actually, let your mind kill your brain, and then take possession of those amazing eyes (you know, the inner ones!!). Close your eyes, and just see... what does it look like to YOU? How do you really feel on the inside? Good... now remember that, and forget what all the others tell you it should be.

It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child. Watch your children, look at their art, especially if you want a lesson in "seeing". They know what to look for. They haven't let anything else cloud their judgment. They don't understand why the world is unfair, they don't understand about responsibilities and what we have to go through as adults... They don't understand that life is going to get alot... ALOT harder. They shouldn't have to... We could do well to go look up, and reunite with that inner child and see through their eyes again, see what they have to say about it... that's as close as you're ever going to get to "the truth", or "perfection".

It takes a long time to become young.
Can you teach an old dog new tricks?? Not when they can't truly "see", and are still using that brain we spoke of earlier... We are here, in this existence (on this earth), to learn... and love... freely. It's a hard thing to hang on to, depending on how you were raised, what you were raised to believe, and whether or not you graduated the norm and learned how to think for yourself. Therefore, there are no mistakes, everything you go through (put yourself through), is all part of learning. We had to learn how to be born, and live, so we must learn how to become truly young... When you've opened up your mind and allow yourself to continue learning and growing, you can achieve anything.

Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not.
And once again, there is no answer until you make the answer, what could be?? It's limitless, every day you think you have seen "what is", when really you're watching change in motion... Anything can be, it's once again up to you, so "Why Not?!?".

Love is the greatest refreshment in life.
Nothing rejuvenates the body, mind and soul more than pure unadulterated love... Drink it, Serve it to others, Love will dry up and become stagnant when it goes unused, unmoving. But keeping it circulating, that is "Give and Receive Love (which is the same thing really when you think about it)" and it will live forever... Down the hatch!

There are only two types of women - goddesses and doormats.
And in my life, I have been both... another lesson in learning and life. Love yourself, Be True and Good To Yourself, Give Freely of your heart, and unless it loves you... let it go. Life is too short to be anything but Happy. Which woman will you be?? And Guys?? Which would you really want to be with?

We must not discriminate between things. Where things are concerned there are no class distinctions. We must pick out what is good for us where we can find it.
Somewhat akin to what I have said above... You have to decide what is good for you, when and where you can find it. Don't depend on how others see what is yours, they don't have to like it, live with it, be a part of it. You do. It's only important that it is good for YOU in your life. Experience all you can.

This roller coaster ride is over before you know it. Live & Love Passionately, Have No Regrets... If you regret it, let it go and embrace it--If you're loving yourself like you're supposed to, you'll realize that even the bad experiences are a part of us and made us who we are today. And that's amazing! In fact, you don't even have to move to find yourself. We can relax, open our minds and the good will come to us (whether or not we recognize it when it first arrives).

AND LASTLY, Picasso states that
You mustn't always believe what I say. Questions tempt you to tell lies, particularly when there is no answer. As far as you're concerned after reading this, alot of it comes from how I feel... my perspective. My opinion. As far as you're concerned, there is still no answer... the real answer that you seek is deep inside YOU. Now, go and find it... Safe Travels.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Tri-State Diet

We all have them, don't we? "Those Days"... You can't find your keys, you get locked out of the house, different little things that seem to stack up on you as if it were a bad moon rising. It can be extremely frustrating, but if you look at the big picture, you eventually see that everything actually does happen for a reason, whether or not it seems like it at the time.

Yesterday was one of those days that I just couldn't catch a break. It started out o.k., but progressed in a somewhat humorous fashion I guess.

I slept late, and had to rush like mad to get ready and get to work anyways, so I had time to slap together a bowl of cereal, throw myself together and head out the door. By lunchtime, I was harboring evil thoughts of "Sonic" (You may or may not know what Sonic is depending on where you live, but it is a drive-in fast-food place, like the 50s/60s I guess, for a long time, it was endorsed by Frankie Avalon, and there is NOTHING healthy there at all... nothing). So anyway, I had this big idea that I wanted to drive across the bridge to the West Memphis Sonic, which really doesn't take that long, but I thought it would be relaxing. I would be able to take in some different scenery, and then be back like normal... refreshed and full of trans fat.

Normal drive, everything was cool, I arrived at the Sonic and prepared to pay by Debit card to avoid even more human contact. "Where's my debit card?? Oh damn it I'm always sticking it in the wrong pocket on my purse, or burying it down in the infinite oblivion that is my bag." I think as I dig through the Books-A-Million bag that I am currently carrying, that's getting heavier by the day. So I tear the thing apart and I can't find it anywhere. I'm getting cranky by this time, and trying to retrace my tracks... the last time I had used my debit card was the day before at Wendy's. (I was being good and having grilled chicken I swear). I thought back, and I just knew that I remembered them handing me back my card. So I ruled that out. I didn't have any cash on me, and I decided that I was forced to go all the way home, search for my card just so I could rest easy and know where it was, so I drove from West Memphis to my home, which is Mississippi.

I pull into the driveway, Richie is there playing some annoying song on his guitar over and over, we have a fight about the dishes. I go in the back, search high and low and cannot locate the card anywhere. I'm starting to freak out wondering if anything had happened to it so I check the account, it seems normal. I looked all in my car, maybe thinking it fell underneath the seat (which was going to make me mad since I could've found that and still had the fat-assed Sonic food lol!), nowhere! So on a lark, I called the Wendy's in question, and asked if anyone had left a card there the previous day. The lady said, "Sure do!!" and I gave her my name, to verify and she said "Yep, just ran off and left it!!!"

I was like, "OH thank you so much!!!". So then I fixed myself something friggin healthy at the house, and then dropped back by the Wendy's to pick up my card on the way back to the office. A bit of a long lunch, and an unfruitful effort to score myself some trans fat! Wow the fates are really keeping me in line! Covered three states at lunch, and ended up eating healthy at home after all.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Have A Sporkin Day! (WWC)

I can't believe it, but I've won an award over at Picked Beef (Thanks Tink!) I was a little late finding out because I got busy yesterday and/or kept getting interrupted. Very cool... it's the "Golden Spork Award", and she gave it to me for "Inspiring Blogger". This is a great honor Tink, and it means alot!!!

Anyways, today is the WWC again... yep Tuesday already! This week's words are "Soft" and "Square". Ok, so in an attempt to be sly, and put both words into one, I baked a big batch of gooey soft chocolate brownies, and I was going to take a photo of them for this but unfortunately I ate the entire thing on the way to pick up my camera. I'm JOKINGG!!! GEEZ!! I'm not that much of a chocoholic (or AM I!)

No anyways, here are my pics this week, and as always I enjoy playing WWC with you guys... Enjoy!

Soft & Square (some are both!).

This cake looks very soft as my nephew sticks his baby-soft face into it for the first time!


My Mom is an excellent quilter... this particular quilt was soft and had squares!

My Drummer's ponytail is probably soft... I don't know for sure, but hair is usually soft. He's a little on the square side though! ;)

This was an interesting view I caught while walking downtown, I spotted the reflection of another building in the reflective windows here and it make quite the interesting pattern. Lots of squares in the composition.

For inspiration, I have this square little pic of "Jimi" on my wall next to my Triton, reminding me in a creative kink, "WWJD? (What Would Jimi Do?) lol

Shiny squares on a round column at a downtown restaurant.

An old tattered wall made an interesting rather worn, square pattern.

The horses fur, and noses are soft to the touch, but this is just another one I decided to throw in here... Hope you liked this week's WWC photos by ME for my Blog Peeps!!!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Peaceful Easy Feeling

... I have not. (That's my best Yoda voice by the way). Feelings of things brewing, not necessarily bad, just a state of energetic unrest like things are happening. I don't know what yet, but we'll see as the week progresses. Other than that, I stayed up too late last night and couldn't get up early this morning like I had planned. Nobody's fault, just me. :)

Now I went out to lunch in my car and I went down and parked by the River, I turned the music down kind of low and I relaxed and had my lunch, and the sun was beaming through the window, so I relaxed back in my seat a moment and closed my eyes and just tried to let the tension go. It was nice. I opened my eyes and there was a Mockingbird sitting on top of the little trash can next to where I parked and he sat there for the longest time staring at me... I wondered about him.

Then I watched the lazy river roll by, and there were objects floating in it, like big limbs, bushes and debris (occasionally). I thought about how it would feel to get some sort of boat or raft and just allow yourself to float down the river at the river's own natural pace, not worrying about time or space or where you would end up, just rolling with it until you landed somewhere. Just me daydreaming... that's what I do.

Between that and the Essential oils that Kim gave me for my tension headaches, I am back on top and feeling much better this afternoon.

The weekend was slow and somewhat uneventful, Richie and I went out to dinner downtown Saturday night and I had picked up Ministry's new CD "The Last Sucker". Oh my god it is one fantastic album! I have always liked Ministry, but I mean they have been going for a long time now and this album truly Rocks!!! I have had it on rotate in my CD player since I bought it Saturday. Just... wow! It's that good.

Anyway, I'm making it through the day in chunks here and have had to stop several times while trying to reach out and touch you, my lovely readers, so I guess I will wrap it up. Tomorrow is the WWC again, and if I think of anything else to share between now and then I will certainly do so!

Happy Manic Monday Y'all! ;)

Sunday, January 13, 2008

ODE

Written by Me:

Ode...

When you've done some walking in my shoes
come find me, feel free, seek
then you might be allowed opinion
and be permitted an attempt to speak

I'm the one who lives my life
yes I've always just been me
your attitude, impressions, perceptions
are so far from reality

Just focus on your puppet strings
and keep silently in time
Clean your filthy fingers
before you point them at me and mine

Please, a moment peering through my eyes
before you tell me how to see
Live and let live, dear 'Jesus'
B - B - B and LET BE

When you can create a universe
in merely seven days
then maybe you can be free to judge
or be allowed words about my ways

Your hypocrisy don't touch my soul
because I'm the only one who has to know

What I am, and can do and should be
last time I checked, was every inch Me.

Before you try to force
my head into a bow
double check your own name plate
as Only God can Judge me now!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Let's Have Coffee, It's Friday!

Seriously, if you like coffee, and are not drinking a cup right now, then take a moment to brew a pot... Go ahead. Stop and get yourself some coffee. Then come back. If you don't like coffee, have water, soda (whatever you like). [pause]

Alright then. Well, we've made it to Friday. It's been a better day today than the rest of the week, I feel my energy returning. I can't explain it, just haven't felt very energized at all this week, and my friend Kim stated there was some shifting in energy going on around us these days, so if anyone else has felt this way--It may be one of the reasons! But today, my calm and relaxation is coming back... I don't know why.

Once again I have found that my horoscope for today was odd in retrospect... I don't know what's going on with that. But it's really weird:

Explaining yourself to others isn't just a one-day event; you are interesting in being understood better by those close to you now. Unfortunately, it can be hard to know where to jump in, which can be a reason for you to put off any meaningful disclosure. Don't wait until the distance between you and someone else becomes too great to cross. Start today and, bit by bit, you can tell it all.

I won't say exact details, but I will say that it rings true for some cool discussions I have had with a friend of mine, sort of confiding in and showing a little of the "inner me". So very interesting! As well, I could think of some of my story telling to you, my avid blog readers/pals as the same, letting you guys know a bit more about who I am, piece by piece... So there you go.

Now on to the continuation of Frankie I suppose. I really don't have as much time as I would like, or even feel like trying to put the Frankie Sequel into exact "Story Form". So, if you don't mind I think I will just tell you what happened as if I were sitting there with you having coffee and telling it to you in person. Cool??

So I left off at the part where Heather and I had visited his apartment in the middle of the "hood", right?

I'm going to go back just a little before and clarify, as I said I had just broken up with my boyfriend "John" at the time, and although I was really reeling right after that, I was lucky enough to have a little pain medication that made things dull relatively quickly. I was hurt, but for some reason it faded fast. But in fact, I never slept. Heather, Brian and I went to club 616 the next evening, and I hadn't had a wink of sleep since the break-up. I nearly fell asleep in the basement of the club. That night, Heather and Brian went with me to John's house to pick up all of my stuff that he had, and Heather got quite confrontational with him. It was humorous. So you see, I went ahead and got my closure I guess, and I was all ready to move on to bigger and better things.

That's right about when I met Frankie I guess. Fast-forward back to where Heather and I had previously just visited his hood. Well If I can remember correctly, not too long after that my sister, Dad and I went to St. Louis to visit an aunt. I was all giddy and happy during that trip, even though I thought I should've still been in broken-heart mode. Once we got back from our family visit, I called up Frankie to see how he was doing.

He talked to me about things I enjoyed doing on dates. What were my interests? All kinds of really cool questions. He was not talking to me like some guy who was trying to take advantage of a girl at all. Like he was really interested in dating me and being cool. (I guess this is just not something you expect from a guy who owned a 9MM, right?).

We planned a date and time to get together and he was to come hang out at my house [Remember I'm living at Bo's house]. I swear I can't remember how he got there, I think I might have either picked him up at work, or maybe he did drive to my place in his Cadillac. Either way, there we were, watching a movie. Frankie was a very affectionate guy, he wanted to hold hands and cuddle and kiss. I had no problem with that at all, I enjoyed the time we spent together, and he was a good kisser and very hot guy! So hot in fact, that (not to sound like a guy but) I only had my mind on one thing! I don't know what was up with that. I liked him, and I did fancy dating him, but I actually think I moved too quickly for him.

The next day, I rode with him to the Casino to pick up his check, and everything seemed fine. We had a nice afternoon, until it was time for me to do go to work (2nd shift), and he went back home. A few days when by, I hadn't heard from him so I called, left a message. He called me back I think like maybe once. I tried to make some sort of amends or connection, but he just faded away.

I often wonder what became of Frankie... maybe he found "The One" and settled down himself... but it just goes to show you, no matter your intentions sometimes, you really are Damned if you do, Damned if you don't.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Everyday Miracles

My week has been going along somewhat 'hum drum'. I have felt overstimulated and under-stimulated at the same time... Working through, waiting for some excitement... yet excitement just seems to be evading me. It waxes and wanes, and you can't be riding the waves of ecstasy every single moment (I guess). :)

Yesterday I had been having a discussion with my friend, Kim about a few things. She's a Reiki master, and very into energy, healing and all that. We were discussing how she always had an uncanny way of meeting somewhat high profile people. Used to work in the hotel business and met alot of famous names there, and then sometimes just happened. So she tells me because we recently "reconnected", not to be surprised if I ended up getting strange occurrences like that myself... like her luck would rub off on me.

So today, going along frustratingly as usual during the course of my day, read my horoscope this morning, thought nothing of it (at the time). About 4:00 p.m., I decided I needed Caffeine and Chocolate. I head over to the convenience store a couple doors down from our building. The visit to the store went fine. Once I left, I was on my way back and an older (alcohol-scented) black man stopped me and said "Hey, hey can I just say one thing?? I'm not racist... I just wanted to tell you that you are so beautiful. You're an angel!"

"Oh, well... um... Thank you." I replied, and I intended to keep stepping. He stopped me. He formed a clench-hold on me, and held my hand, and I was trying to be nice.

Once again, he repeated "I'm not racist, and...." I intervened, "Neither am I..."

He continued, "... and you know what I like about you??"

"No?" I said. "EVERYTHANG!!!" he replied gleefully. "What's your name?"

I said, "Jackie". He goes on to say, "You tell your Mama that I'm mad at her!!"

"Why?" I asked.

"Cuz she should've named you Sugar... you are just soooooo sweet!! And the way you walk... and..."

Me: "Well I really appreciate the compliment. But you better let me get back to work now, I'm going to be late from my break."

Meanwhile, our janitor passes by and says "Jackie, are you o.k.??" and I looked at him woefully, and said "Ummm, yeah I'm fine!" lol

Him: "And they know I'm just talkin to somebody!! Now wait, lemme say one more thing... (mumble mumble) and I'm from (mumblemumble) Michigan and I'm Smokey Robinson's cousin... and we used to... blah blah blah"

Me: "Oh well, that's so nice... I really appreciate the compliment but I REALLY have to get back to work."

And with that, I pulled away my arm away and walked on to my building. Told my team lead what happened and he was like "OMG!! No way." And I was thinking, "I just can't go anywhere... I'm so radiant and stunning... an Angel nonetheless. I don't know if the guy was a bum, he really meant no harm... and he didn't even ask me for money. He simply stopped me and wanted to tell me that I brightened his day with just a smile.

Just then, I re-read my horoscope for the day:

You may be intellectually stretched by a passionate person who lures you out of your comfort zone today. You'll need to eliminate old patterns to be able to express yourself differently in a relationship. It might feel scary to let go of a comfortable habit, even if it has turned into a rut. Take a risk and ask for what you want.

Hmmmm strange... very strange.

Then I reflected on the fact that he said he was Smokey Robinson's cousin and thought. 'Wait!! Kim DID say that I'd be having more uncanny brushes with greatness... and wow, Smokey Robinson! Damn I didn't even get his autograph!!!"

Come on Kim!! Where's my George Clooney??

Tune in tomorrow for Part II of my "Frankie from the Wheel of Fortune" saga... from last week?? Remember?? If you didn't read it's still news!! Just go back and read "I'm No Angel"... and then I'll see you tomorrow.

Come on you guys, I miss my regular bloggers!! Where are you? Come back and let me know you're still alive!!! You know who you are.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I Like My Coffee (WWC)

"I Like My Coffee like I Like My Photographs... Black and Strange!!!" ha-ha! I bet you thought I was going somewhere else with that, right? :) Well it's time again for our photo-funtastic Weekly Words Challenge, brought to us by the Wonderfully Strange, but not black Tink of Pickled Beef. This weeks words (if you haven't guessed already) are "Strange" and "Black".

Since I'm too lazy and don't feel like re-ordering the photos, I'm going to start mine off with...

Black:

Was in the mood for a little black-n-white photography today, and it is strange that I felt like going to the graveyard on such a dreary, stormy day.


My strange cat, Rodney here posing for the camera,
looking quite reflective in B&W.


A little fun with a more high-contrast b&w photo


Good contrast here on yet another photo from the cemetery.


We have this black building downtown, I dug this out of my fall photos
because I liked the yellow tree against the black of the building.


A popular downtown restaurant features this black "Big Foot" logo on the wall.


Strange:
This is a little cat sculpture at our band rehearsal space.
It's strangely decorated and looks like it is quite the fan of James Dean.


Same place, our rehearsal space. I guess someone was feeling creative when they fashioned this strange hand apparently "growing" out of a grassy clump on top of a big wooden spool.


Strange Light Fixture.

If you visit historic Beale St. in downtown Memphis,
you can visit this store, "Strange Cargo".

That's it for the WWC this week... tune in next week when Tink brings us "Soft" and "Square"... that should be a cool challenge!!

Other Tuesday notes:

As I was working out this morning on the Elliptical machine, I was watching an old stupid 80s/early 90s show called "Saved By The Bell". It was painfully cheesy, but yet I find myself watching it sometimes. It made me feel kind of depressed for some reason... My niece, Jolie, who passed away in 1998 really loved the show, and maybe that has something to do with it too. Just that whole era of bad hairdos, weird clothing, and music floods back.

So the day rolled on and it got really stormy here, it's dark and misty and that's weather that I totally love unless I have to drive in it... I don't like rain-driving ever since I wrecked my favorite car back around 1997 (Green Mazda MX-6). I was on my way to work at the casino, going about 65 in the rain, and I hydroplaned off the interstate, hitting a tree in (get this) the 'dead center' of my car's trunk! That's weird in itself, and then to top it off, I stepped out of the car and walked away without a scratch... Strange to me, wonder who those guardian angels are sometimes. Also strange when you're having a wreck like that, you always think your life is going to flash before your eyes, but yet an odd calm washed over me and I just held my eyes closed tight until I "landed"... then I slowly opened them, and saw that it wasn't yet my time to go... Life is crazy like that sometimes. Stay safe out there, and have a great Tuesday.

The King Is Dead

(For all the Elvis fans, sorry it's not about him, but Happy Birthday Big E nonetheless!!)

Blame Richie, he reminded me of this heinous genre of music, and showed me a video that was way, way creepier than the Burger King Dude ever thought about being... Seriously. This video makes Burger King Dude look like Santa Claus! lol!! Yuck. I'm totally disgusted now. It's really weird, the MUSIC SUCKS, but if you can make it through the long beginning and the weirdness, you owe it to yourself to witness this. They're called the "Aphex Twins" with a song called "Window Licker". Hang on tight... press play.


Come back later today for Tink's Weekly Words Challenge (WWC) Happy Tuesday!!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Drooling On A Sunday Afternoon

I went ahead and deleted the Yuwie post... everyone was pretty down on it, not much support going on there, so I didn't see a reason to leave the post up. However, if you ever feel like helping out, the referral link still is on the right side of my blog down there. Oh well, nothing usually works for me anyways, I just didn't think it hurt to try.

Friday night we went out to "Raffe's Beer Garden" and had some Mediterranean food with Rob, Meg and my coworker Vikram. It was nice as usual there, the food is good and they have alot of beers on the list (which is what Richie likes about it). Other than that, Yesterday and Today have been grey, dreary and very boring! I took a nap yesterday, and all I have done today is have sex with my husband, eat sushi, and watch stupid Hillary Duff movies on T.V. (Yeah I know! Somebody call an Exorcist please). I'm bored out of my mind!

However, I don't have much else to report so if you want, you could catch up on stuff you haven't read maybe. Two stories between last week and this week ("Kissing Frogs" and "I'm No Angel" scroll down and read if you haven't and have time).

Everyone seemed to enjoy me writing Stories for Fridays, so if you think that's a good idea and would like me to try and bring a story every Friday let me know. I'm sure I have a few more in the ole chamber. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday... AJ x

Friday, January 04, 2008

I'm No Angel

The time while I was renting Bo's house was a strange little blur. I mean, I remember everything but can't remember exact months, dates or anything of that sort. DO KNOW that my motives for renting his house were not-so angelic. He and his girlfriend were moving down to the next county for some odd reason. His mother liked me, she rented the place to me for $200 a month (ok quiet everyone, yeah that's dirt cheap!). She also left most of their stuff in the house, and Bo told me that they had a special 'hook-up' with the cable, so if I just paid the bill he said I could leave it all "as is". It was my thought and desire at the time that Bo would come by the house a lot and that somehow it would bring me closer to him. But this story is not about Bo, it's more about Me, or rather a brief encounter I had with "Frankie". I'll get to that in a minute though.

Despite the fact that I had these fantasies that Bo and I would somehow get closer by my living in his family's house, it did not stop me from doing quite a bit of man-chasing while I lived there. In fact, once Bo and his brother popped in while my then-boyfriend, John were sacked out in the living room floor (John in his underwear). I'm sure he got a kick out of that one.

I had just broken up with John about a week previous (I'll tell John's story another day), and my heart was almost 100% mended. Heather and I decided to hit up the Casino one afternoon for my Birthday. We were going to do a little gambling, and hit up one of the casino buffets. I was not-too-happy to be turning 26, but looking back now I can see that I was crazy for thinking 26 was going to be a bad age... It was in fact, the best age of my life.

We get to the Casino area, and I believe it was Fitzgerald's, and head through the door. Once inside, I notice over at the "Wheel of Fortune" there is this hot guy gawking our way, he kinda 'looked Puerto Rican' maybe. We noticed him, and both turned to tell each other "hey look at that guy" and when I met her eyes, she said "I know! I was just about to say..." So we continued on to the buffet, and afterwards, I remember looking in a mirror and analyzing 'how old I looked' and how I hated the green dress I was wearing. I started my usual "OMG-I have crows feet, and do I really look 26?!? (SIGH)", all-the-while, Heather trying to reassure me.

We decided on a whim to head over to the Wheel of Fortune table, and the guy was still working. As we stand there, I'm scrambling for a dollar to play the table, because you could not use change and I only had quarters. I looked over at the only other player at the table, clearly a "high roller" with his hundred dollar bills... he was already looking somewhat agitated by the flirting that was happening between us and the employee. I asked very sweetly, "Do you have a dollar for four quarters?" The man looked at me like I was completely insane, if not totally small potatoes in his garden of life. "No!" he replied very curtly.

Oh well, I went and found some change at the cashier and came back ready to spin the wheel of fortune! I looked at the hotty's name tag. It said "Frankie". I wondered about his life briefly as I scanned over his dark hair, and his sexy eyes and his goatee. I, remembering my appearance in the mirror just earlier, didn't even entertain the hope that he would give me the time of day, still I couldn't help but smile and blush, he was just so sexy. We'd all shared lighthearted banter throughout the course of my Wheel of Fortune escapade that day.

Suddenly, Frankie looked at my friend Heather and said, "Do you think if I gave her my number she would call me??" Heather laughed her silly laugh... as she had the type of infectious giggle, and catching it was unavoidable. Meanwhile, I'm still blushing, smiling and I looked at Frankie, who made sharp eye contact with me as he played his silly game.

Heather finished giggling and said, "Uhhh Yeahhh I think so."

Frankie took a piece of paper out and scribbled his name and number, and handed it to me. I took the number. We had to excuse ourselves shortly because neither Heather nor myself are what you'd consider "High Rollers". You may have gathered that from my needing a dollar for four quarters. There's no shame in my game, I can't afford to play high stakes! Besides, you definitely need to 'Know When To Fold Em', right?

So we left the casino, I on cloud 9 since I landed a phone number and I'm sure Frankie's ears were burning the rest of the afternoon. I gave it a couple of days so as not to seem desperate and I called him up one afternoon as Heather and I were running around Memphis. He asked where we were and I told him, and he said "Oh well you should come by! You can meet my cat, Jasmine" (He has a cat? Jasmine?? Wow). "Uhhh, well... um" I looked at Heather... she was kind of apprehensive, but agreed that we could go by his apartment for a little while. He gave me directions. It turned out he lived in the middle of "the hood". For those of you who have never lived there or hung with people who lived there, it's a bad neighborhood, and usually not in the most scenic part of town.

I, being one who usually ended up in strange situations anyways, didn't let it get to me too much. But Heather was a bit nervous, looking around. I can't lie, I was wondering what we might find out about Frankie, but still too curious and enthralled with him to turn back now. He knew we were on the way, and if I remember we either honked the horn or gave him a quick call to let him know we were there. We wait a few seconds and someone appears in the doorway of the apartment building. I'm guessing it's him, but Heather is convinced it's some sort of robber. He's wearing a basketball jersey, and loose, relaxed attire. It was dark and there wasn't much lighting so we couldn't quite make out his face until he approached the car.

"Oh my God!" Heather yells, "Is it him? I hope so, cuz someone's coming towards us."

I laugh a little. "I'm not sure, I THINK it's him, but he's dressed so differently I can't tell. I'm sure it is him though."

He gets to the car. "Hey, glad you decided to stop by."

We see a 9MM gleaming from his hand, slightly hidden by his side. He pats his side, indicating it. "Don't worry, I've got ol' Rosy here to protect us. This isn't the best neighborhood. Come on up!"

Heather and I give each other an odd look, secretly saying to one another 'Is this guy for real? What's with the 9MM?' and like OMG!! So he guides us back to the door, and we have to go up a flight of stairs to reach his apartment. Frankie, being a gentleman of sorts, motioned for us to go in first (although we had no idea what we were walking into, and oddly enough, Heather was leading the way). I'm right behind Heather, and Frankie climbs the stairs right behind me, guiding me slightly with his hand. I step carefully, and can feel "Rosie" (his 9MM) brush my ass as we ascend towards his door.

Nobody was shot, and we finally walk in to his apartment. It was very small, but clean, and his black cat "Jasmine" came to greet us. Of course I made fast friends with her, being the cat lover that I am. We sat and visited with Frankie for a while, and he asked about my interests, and what I liked to do... he talked about going on a date sometime soon, and asked me to give him a call.

Heather and had to start heading back home, as she had some plans with family for later, so we excused ourselves and started the drive back to our small town. Frankie's ears were probably burning all the way.

[Tune in next time when Frankie and Jackie turn up the heat as he visits her humble abode].

Happy Friday Everybody!

Friday, 11:11

Wow, it's so strange that I just looked at my cellphone and it read "11:11", and then my computer time said the exact same thing. "11" chases me too... I know a couple of you have mentioned this. I don't know what it is, it began for me with 3:11, then it went to many other 11's. The funkiest for me is the 1:11 and 11:11 though. Wild huh? And I don't know what to make of it. Of course I was interrupted and didn't get to actually post it at that time, but hey guess we'll take what we can get today. It's Freaky Friday again, and I'm very glad the weekend is here.

I was trying to think about sharing another story for you guys since I did last Friday on my anniversary, and everyone seemed to enjoy it. So let me see if I can remember a good one and I'll try to put it up this afternoon.

I've been having a bit of writers block lately where Lyrics are concerned, but I am sure that will break soon... just the holidays. My head is still spinning somewhat from all that's been "the holidays". I'll get back Lucid probably right as the Elvis crowd strikes around here for Big E's birthday. (sigh)

Anyways, I'll be back in a few and have you a juicy story perhaps... or a boring one-either way, come back and read, and know that I love you guys!!! :D

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

The End Only Starts A New Beginning

Good day to you all, this is my very first post of 2008. I put up a small one of course on New Years Eve, just well wishes and all. Then I took yesterday off, went home to Mom's, and had the usual "Black Eyed Peas" for lunch which is supposed to be good luck and all... Food was good, and two other sisters showed up so we almost had a little family thing going on... Mom seemed happy to have some of her daughters together... Deb, the one who just had a birthday on 12/28 if you recall, she brought her dog "GT" with her. Jeanne, well being such a "Big E" fan, her English Bulldog is named "Elvis", so he was with her. I felt left out not bringing my Salvador Dali namesake!!! :)

Anyways, I think maybe Tink (of Pickled Beef) had planned to do something similar with the WWC this week, and I'm not sure... So I will put my official entry in nonetheless. I didn't have time to give any thought to this week's words, "Brown" and "Pattern", but I will share with you instead my slide show of the shots that I TOOK on New Year's Eve (which has both brown AND patterns everywhere!). We had a great time, good food, music by The Misfits, Black Flag, Sex Pistols, Mr. Bungle, and a few others. In attendance were Myself and Mr. J of course, Meg and Rob, Kim and Allen, and Richie's friends, Chris and Kenneth... a few more were aware and invited but that's who showed up.

We were well blessed to get the chance to hear from Four Dinners on the phone several times, and he was "well pissed" (that's English talk for "Hey everyone, I'm Hammered!!!"), and Cappy rang us too!!! They were all having a nice time, and were sweet enough to take time out of their own lives to wish us Happy New Year... It was a great evening, ending a pretty nice year... Here's to 2008, may it be a good one full of opportunities unmissed, hopes un-shattered, and dreams fulfilled!

Enjoy a few scenes from the last moments of our year... Goodbye 2007!


If you can't view the slideshow above, Click Here. x