Deep In The Forrest

Something began to stir me around in my unabashedly peaceful slumber. My eyes, sealed shut were not yet ready to awaken, yet as I slowly floated back toward my small, pleasantly plump little Earth costume to which I was currently assigned (harumph!!), 'Wait what was that? What was I thinking about again..." my shifting thoughts faded into a fog as I transitioned and unwillingly continued waking from the heavy, cozy child's dreamland... My Mother, who at the time had a standing weekly appointment to get her hair done ('teased'), was letting me know it was time to get up and get our big Saturday started. The hour was early, and most times I got my fill of the early morning "Saturday Cartoons", which always included Bugs Bunny and friends, and several other classics. I remember making a 'couch cushion fort' and taking in as many of the cartoons as I could before we had to leave to run errands and go to the Beauty Shop. Like it was yesterday, I ca...

Just wanted to share this. Kim let me borrow her copy, and it is really great. If you get a chance to watch this, do.

**This post (or note) has sexual talk and adult situations so if you are around your children go ahead and mark it for a 'read later' type of thing. I don't want anyone mad at me for any adult material... since everyone's so darn sensitive... hey, you guys were all rad once... right? ha!** I digress... let's begin the post. For some reason, I am always wayyy behind on the news. For instance, A "Gene Simmons Sex Tape Scandal" leaked out in like February 2008 and I just now ran across this. Now, you might wonder why I would even be curious about the sexual exploits of some old-n-moldy, formerly cool Rocker dude like Gene... well, I wouldn't really, but he is a Rock Icon, and of course he has that gargantuan tongue and lots of money. That's the only "pro" that would get me with gene... well, pros. From the time when I even remotely could think of a fling with a KISS member, it was Paul (and I know everyone is really waiting for his Tranny vi...

Just a random little post today, busy Monday and all. I'm not going to make a huge deal out of it, but can't get through this day without wishing Z a very happy birthday. I hope that he has or gets all he deserves in life, always hope for the best and that he and his family are doing well. It's all I can really do... So, today Z, I thought of you and next week when it's my birthday (22nd), I doubt you'd even remember that or think of me and mine, but that's o.k., the world continues to roll around and round. It's all good, you're righteous and don't have to worry bout nothin, right?? You're cool. Ok, enough of that I can see where it was headed lol, let me shut my mouth now. Geez, it started out all cool too like it sometimes does, then turned sour... kind of like yesterday's nasty-ass pistol-packin potato salad. {deep breath} Yeah, you've got your heroes and your zeroes. Then there are times when you still think the zeroes could be hero...

This note to attach to the other entry for today, I was just sitting here thinking about it. Do you ever just get bored and go back through your blog and admire your past entries and think, "Wow, this is a great post... I'm quite the writer!!" ??? ... Me neither... just checkin.

These prompts come from something called The Simple Woman’s Daybook that I first saw over on Janet ’s blog. I didn't study up on it too hard, or research what it was all about admittedly, but I just thought I'd put it up and share it for fun... No tags, just thoughts. It's Good Friday so I hope yours is good. :) 1. Outside my window… I see an empty street and impending rain. 2. I am thinking… I wish I could be more motivated and accomplished. I'm bored right now. 3. I am thankful for… My family, and all times when things end up ok after I worried I wouldn't get through them. 4. From the kitchen… I run screaming from the cluttered table and dirty dishes! 5. I am wearing… 2 day worn work pants and a slouchy t-shirt, what a bum. :( 6. I am creating… even more negativity if I don't change my thought patterns right now! 7. I am going… to a birthday dinner tonight and then Mom's house tomorrow evening... I'm going to start accomplishing more ...

Am I still caught up in some whirlwind? It seems like my energy just waxes and wanes. I know it's been a few weeks now, and my family has good days and bad days, but we are still all in quite a bit of grief and emptiness without my father. Things are just very hard. My mother, of course, has it the worst because she was there with him day in and day out for 48 years, my other sisters had him longer than I did, but still there is a huge empty well that used to be filled with his laughter, spirit and love. Lately, it seems that I can't do anything without thinking about Daddy. Washing my motorcycle, I was reminded of how often we would wash cars together or when he would do his part to try and teach me about automotive things. I can't ride my bike either without remembering him teaching me how to drive everything, since I was just 2 years old, teaching me to shift and always allowing me something to drive. Certain television programs only echo his laughter. The house is blue ...

Here's the latest "Daddy Update" just real quick, I won't go too detailed because I'm tired of talking it out more or less, but just wanted to give y'all a little run-down, and some thoughts. First off, I can't help but feel like we've been in a soap opera. As you run around the hospital, in and out of the cafeteria, people come by that you know. Just like "As The World Turns" or "Guiding Light" always seem to center around people meeting up with one another in the hospital somehow... Very odd. Seems one of my other classmates from High School had her father in on another floor for the exact same thing as my Dad. I found that odd. Then I saw my old crush Bob's Mom (Bob from my "Motorcycle Madness" story). He finally found Mrs. Right in the last few years, but then lost her to Breast Cancer. Irony huh. Another funny? Back when I saw him last he only had 1 daughter. His mom said he had 6 children (dodged that bullet I ...

We all have our daily routines, we reach a goal, hit a milestone, get comfortable. Sometimes we stay there and bask in that one glow for way too long... Change buzzes all around us, but sometimes it's too scary so we hide right in the center and let it spin right past. There is a price to pay for comfort. Growing up, I do remember wanting to be a nurse until about fourth grade. It was at that time that my mother enrolled me in a local art class taught by Mrs. Meacham. I never looked back to a medical profession again, but lived a life of a "wannabe artist" from there on. "Art Fever" had taken control of young Jackie. Early on, the aspirations took on that of a "Film Animator". I wanted to live in California, and work for the likes of Disney, Warner Bros., and really blaze a cartoon trail. Then later, Illustration won my love, and I wanted to design book and magazine covers, albums, Billboards, even package designs. My work would be the deciding factor...

O.k. I'm back... just felt the need to put a few thoughts down. Cool? Basically, I'm going to put this here to hold it, even though I have it saved at home too... A new poem I wrote the other day. I don't know if it will become a song, or just stay a poem. One never knows those types of things until they just "happen". Well, anyway, here it is. Your sex is like magick a dream within a dream but nothing is as it seems and youth long gone but just around the corner stalks us from behind. And the smell of youth is smoke and burning leaves and honeysuckle first snowflakes and afterbirth What is it all worth? What's real and what's surreal? Why have we created this place? What is going to take its place? Weapons of mass destruction A load of brain reduction Where do I begin? Where does it all end? Seems I'm right back where I started. Yeah I write in a weird way, I just take little 'notions' that come to me and let them have their way. I give cred...

Don't get me wrong, I do wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, I enjoyed mine with the few members of our family that came home today. I hope that you are all able to see the good things that you're blessed with in your life, there is always something to be thankful for... But I have to reflect for a moment on this piece by William S. Burroughs... Keep smiling. -AJ I recommend hearing him through the video above, however if you'd rather, here's what he says: "Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts. Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison. Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger. Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin leaving the carcasses to rot. Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes. Thanks for the American dream, To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare lies shine through. Thanks for the KKK. For N**ger-killin' lawmen, feelin' their notches. For...

Wow it's been hard for me to post this weekend because I don't really have much to say. I have accomplished nowt this weekend except a little video gaming, lying around in my undies (which are basically stolen pairs of my husband's boxers and a t-shirt lol!). So I didn't die from over stuffing myself yesterday, hope you guys weren't worried about that. I felt like it though... but I didn't. My dreams have been very weird to me all weekend... but not worth discussing really. Earlier, I was just sitting and thinking about the last ten years... that's all it takes 10 years. Ten years to turn from shiny, new, full of spirit into an old tattered fart. (To just look in the mirror and realize how old you can feel sometimes, and how old I guess I am [supposed to be] ). It's not working though... my number continues to rise, but I don't feel like I am keeping up with it. I can't grow up, I still feel the same inside as I always did... and I sit and obsess...

It's time for bed, but I thought I would say a few words. I'm ready for some big, positive changes. I've been way too bored lately. I want to get out there and experience stuff again and I want to photograph and paint the whole world. I want to make it big just to get a tour bus and go everywhere and do nothing but get ready for a gig, play with my camera and play video games from city to city. I want to write my lyrics and my stories and my poetry, and leave my talent and creativity in a time-capsule for someone to find hundreds of years from now... and I want them to see it or read it and be totally blown away... I will doubtfully leave a genetic mark on this world, so it would be cool to leave a loud, colorful one... Something, anything... Isn't that what we all want? To be remembered in some form? It's so very easy to live here for this fleeting moment and then just be washed away with the next rainstorm. Where is that stupid time machine I ordered (I know) sev...

People in daily life often say this, and I read blogs here and there of people who make note that they either hate what they do for a living, or they are only doing what they do because they have to in order to survive and take care of their families. I, myself, am still relatively new in the Information Technology area, and I still like what I do very much and enjoy where as well... I'm pretty lucky. Good environment, good people. Still, the question on my mind today is "What would you REALLY do with your life, if you didn't HAVE to?" This means, what is the one thing that you love more than anything that you would do if you could just be yourself and not have to worry about bills, babies and chains of the daily grind? Who are you, really? I would be Oil Painting somewhere in Greece or Italy, or maybe just making my way through the USA capturing the essence of our time on canvas one city at a time... Either way, I'm a misplaced artist... (and slacker). No, Actual...