Posts

Going Mobile!

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SoI have had a lot on my mind lately, and plenty to write about, which is not unusual. It's pretty much par for the course for me... Lack of content, ideas or words is never the problem for me. It is usually laziness, time-wasting and procrastination that demolishes my creative efforts and endeavors. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's also one of my biggest struggles. So I'm not going to beat myself up, just keep living Dia por Dia, and doing my best to improve things like that, the things about myself that most make me wanna beat my ass. Most of y'all can dig that, I think.

Anyway, as I shuffled on over here to think about my blog, and writing, etc, I took a look at my theme and decided it had been way too long since I gave it a face-lift. It needed updating in a major way. Since I work in the field of Web Development / Design, it's terrible that I have waited so long to pop over and ensure that my blog was "mobile friendly", responsiv…

Both Sides Now

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I missed posting for my Dad's birthday, August 29th.. and some others. The weeks are just blurring together. I'm once again looking for work, and my self esteem is at an all time low. I feel like crud (emotionally).

Have been in a weird phase lately, trying to stay afloat, trying to find some sort of motivation, some sort of inspiration, but it never comes.

I'm struggling, and it is not letting up just yet, even though I feel like I've been waiting for that "light at the end of the tunnel" for nearly a decade now. That's one ridiculously long tunnel.

All I want is to feel secure again, and to have a reliable job to go to, a long-term "permanent" job doing what I love, which is web development-related, creative. Is that so much to ask? I'm so sick of getting the rejection letters from companies.

All I need is a foot in the door to prove that I can be great.

This downward spiral has to have an expiration date.

I swear I have done my time x 10.…

Jealous

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Just on a music kick tonight, and I had forgotten about this song, which speaks so much.

"Jealous" by Labrinth

I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain
I'm jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow
Oh, I'm jealous of the wind
'Cause I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me
I'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I'm jealous of the love
'Cause I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when y…

Electric Blue

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My emotions have been "running amok" lately. That's nothing new, to be honest, I think I have lived my life on an emotional roller coaster of my own engineering. My belief is that it is something I revel in, rather than feel guilty about. My emotions and I have a very tight and loving relationship. Even when it is overflowing in a huge vat of depression, I am proud of the fact that I feel so deeply, and am also able to express what's on my heart and mind (most of the time). I sometimes feel sorry for people who hold everything in. You never know what is going to happen from one day to the next, I would much rather have said what I need to say, and let people know how I feel about them rather than let something happen and they not know.

Now this doesn't always apply to times when I need to let people know how badly they have hurt or are hurting me. For some reason, I am not so good at this, although I think it bears equal importance. It is something I am working …

It's About Time

Well yes I am inconsistent. I love to write, wish I wrote for a living, but yet end up with the worst gaps in my posts / writing ever. Then I beat myself up for it because I love writing and want to write, and have regular visitors and readers, etc, but I really don't think people are reading anything I post. Even so, I still write for myself as much as I do others. The feedback is still something I enjoy, and I always wish people would comment and communicate with me more.

Anyway, I figured it was about time for me to toss a post together.

Facebook's reminders told me that it is "National Siblings Day". Really, one of those little known morsels, things we either forget, or they're really not that big, right? Nonetheless, I thought the little tribute I wrote to my sisters last year on this day was worth a re-post / re-link. So here you go, once again, For the Love of Sisters.

I do love my family, we just all have such different lives and things going on that we d…

Quizás Quizás Quizás

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Once again I have been abusing "Tortilla Soup" (meaning I have been watching it every time I see it. I love the music. I love watching Hector Elizondo cook (even though I'm sure it's a stand in on the cooking shots, i'm not sure). However, it's one of my feel good movies. This song puts a smile in my heart. Perhaps... Quizas...

Chapter 2 of 12

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The first month of the year has come and gone, and today is February 1st. Fall really flew by, way too fast in my opinion, and I'm still a little depressed that the holiday season is over, to be honest. I like the lights and the music and the holiday movies. I like imagining that I live in New York like my favorite characters in so many movies that I watch on repeat. Man, I can't even really count how many times I have truly watched some of them, but it's up there.

This was something I was thinking a lot about just the other day, how I watch t.v. shows like "Seinfeld", and "Friends", and movies like "You've Got Mail" that overly-romanticize New York City for me. They make me think, 'Hey I could actually afford to live there, and isn't it glamorous and cool?!' I have often fantasized that I would run a cool, trendy coffee shop and be a part of the art scene. These movies and t.v. shows make it so over-hyped though, it is unfair…