Deep In The Forrest

Today I looked down into the small deep eyes of an innocent puppy, and she only reminded me of all the spirit and soul that truly exists in the world. As small as her little canine eyes appeared, they were a vast universe of wonder and love. She looked directly into mine, unfaltering, as I sat still and stared into hers for a silent moment. It was as if they were a portal to an entirely bigger better world... perhaps they are. Yes my weekend has been o.k. so far, I visited my mother and I managed some time to myself to breathe. My mind has been quite tangled up in a fantasy world the last few days, and I cannot lie, I am not upset with that fact. Some might think that staying in a fantasy world, and not "growing up" would impede your adult life and cause you not to fit into your 'adult costume'. But you see, I can take care of business, do whatever 'big kid' things I need to do, and still revert back to my flights of fancy and my world of dreaminess. It's ...

Stand by for what you might deduce as psychotic ramblings by AJ ;) Reality is a funny thing. That needn't be some hugely astounding, Nobel-prize winning statement of the century, it's just a string of characters, a few short words. What are words anyway if not all-too-commonly misused gifts of our language? Photo caption: "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~Einstein Just throw your Ego out the window for a moment and examine the phrase. " Reality is a funny thing ." (Now I'm not talking about Reality Television, which is indeed its own animal, and not much of one at that-can you taste my disdain?) Oh yes, this might leave you thinking, "Oh how can you say that? Reality is very serious indeed. Reality is dire to our existence and everyone needs to wake up and smell the coffee! We all need to be slapped in the face by this Reality , people need to grow up and learn the seriousness of how things really are in this life!!...

... but then sometimes, you're the head. It's hard not to get discouraged these days, because of fluctuating prices, constant inflations of some sort, crime rates, political 3-ring-circuses, and yadda-yadda-yadda. But when it gets to be too much, that's why you come by and see your favorite Aunt Jackie, because she keeps you protected, far away from any sort of reality! Makes ya feel good, that's right. (Or at least forget what you were thinking about so hard before...) Well you know I would love to talk about something funny that happened today but nothing really notable happened, so I am at a loss there. It was a totally boring and long day at the office. I notice I get mixed thoughts when I detail my dreams, like dreams don't really make a shit? Well, maybe they mean something, or maybe they don't. I don't really care. But I would much rather sleep and dream and enjoy than swim along in the SSDD (same-shit-different-day) river... it's just boring. I...

Man do the birthdays come and go. I never had many 'big' birthday parties... as I have always said, being in the early summer, everyone was usually off on vacations, traveling, otherwise involved with their summer fun, so it was rare for me to have many guests. The above picture was one of those rare occasions, where a few of my school friends were there, and my nieces, of course were there most of the time... That was my 12th birthday party at McDonald's. Didn't we look like dorks?? hehe. Thing was, we didn't care! We had no worries except how to entertain ourselves, and to have fun... Near bout' the last of the "magic" birthdays this was... But there isn't a good reason for that. I have no excuses for that except to say that it was because my outlook went from magic to dust. Nobody's fault but my own. Life still has an abundance of magic, I just tucked it away somewhere and can't remember how to unlock it. Well that is going to have to ch...

Back to life, back to reality... Back to the here and now yeah! Yeah, back to it... The weekend really did pass off way too fast [once again]. Seems like time is constantly moving into a fast-forward mode, more each day. I didn't get very much done over the weekend, not like I'd planned. I didn't get to go and see the Reverend Horton Heat Show at the Young Avenue Deli . Seems like that happens alot nowadays. I can't get anyone to really go anywhere or do anything fun... it's a bummer sometimes. Actually with the Reverend Horton Heat show, once it was nearly time just from the hassle of worrying over getting prepared and trying to go, I was put off it anyway so I didn't care anymore. So I played video games a bit, tried to get some things done and went down to my Parents' house Sunday night to visit. First off, I arrived later than my Mother desired, so as is becoming the trend, she greeted me in a bad mood. I've talked about this before, she's not t...

Well, Happy Mother's Day to all of my "Mothers" out there and even those that play the part of a mother, whatever the circumstances are. Know that you are appreciated and remember that life would not exist without you. That's alot of pressure, but you're doing just fine! Go and Seize the Day!! It's yours... just don't do anything that I WOULD do, and you'll probably make it through unscathed... lol I'm getting prepared to go down to my very own Mother's house today to celebrate her. But it's getting harder and harder to do that. The woman who has always been uplifting and angelic to me has been increasingly bitter and sad. I'm having the worst time dealing with it--She apologizes sometimes for sounding so bad and then reinforces that 'She has been lucky, and she doesn't mean to complain'. I know it's taking its toll taking care of my Father, in his declining condition and all, he has his good days and his bad. She has t...

The other night I had a strange and unsettling dream, which is not uncommon really, but this one was remarkable to me in the sense that it made sense. The dream (as much as I can remember it): Richie and I were not married yet, but we had clearly been in a long-term relationship. There was this other guy, a guy who's face I have never seen before in reality, but in the dream, I knew him evidently well enough to be marrying him. So, I was engaged to this guy, and we were trying to plan wedding details, but every thought in my head was making me completely nauseous about it--I didn't have any feelings except for disgust for the guy, I was wondering why I was even doing it--and how I got involved with him and all that. It was really weird... I had a terrible feeling that I was on the complete wrong path and that I needed to turn back and fast. In the dream, I missed Richie terribly and really wanted to talk to him. I remembered our times together, and all I wanted to do was to mak...

“You can't go home again.” Thomas Wolfe Monday finds me rather emotional and feeling a bit strange after a nice visit with both my parents yesterday afternoon. I have had every intention of writing a story over the weekend, but it just didn't come... Mom, Dad and I ate dinner, and sat around chatting about so many things. Of course, my Dad has been in an increasingly odd state where he will get hooked on a subject and he can't seem to let it go. If he wants something done, he'll repeat it 20 times until you have done what it is he wants. Lately, he's obsessing over this country song that I sang for him at the family reunion and it's all he can talk about (makes Mom play the demo that I recorded long ago in Nashville over and over). Then he'll ask me repeatedly if I remember a certain event (from the past) that happened before I was born and I'll have to tell him no once again. Mom will jump in and remind him "Dad, Jackie wasn't even born yet....