Deep In The Forrest

Life is uncertain, so let's continue finding something to celebrate every day. Now, I am not the most consistent person when it comes to my trends, or my writing. I am trying hard to make the effort. You can keep encouraging me. I have included today's list below, and out of these, I chose "National Crayola Crayon Day" as it peaks my inner child's artistic enthusiasm, as well as reminds me of a funny story about myself and my heart-thumping 5th/6th grade crush, Ken. Oh lord, Ken... He and his family were from deep in the heart of Texas. Ken was the middle son of three boys, and six years my senior. With that rich, Texan drawl, and his sky blue eyes and sandy hair, he was the wild child star of my middle school dreams (insert hilarious giggle there). His parents and my parents were best friends, they hung out and visited one another, had dinners, coffee, played dominoes, all that.  Funny how you think at that age, but I was convinced that if I could just have one...

Looking around me at many of the people I used to know, I have become even more painfully aware than I normally am of how old we are all getting (in numbers). "I thought growing old would take longer." ~Unknown Just a small notation, I have been going through some health issues, that I haven't exactly blasted online or on social media, my close friends and family know the details, but it has been challenging for my schedule trying to work, so I am doing a bit of a balancing act, and just keeping positive. I'm doing okay, though, if anyone reading is wondering... Maybe i'll write more about the actual situation a bit later. I am just wanting to write more regularly, anything to get myself back into the creative flow. It's hard at times. Anyway, as I began writing this, maybe a couple months back, I was just browsing around on Facebook, and searching out of boredom, like I do from time-to-time, and suddenly there it was "suggested friends"; hi...

This morning I popped over here to the blog with intentions of writing some little sentimental post about "Him" (Z) but I looked down and I spewed too much word vomit in the other post from February entitled   Time, That Slippery Bastard . So how can I, in good conscience, do another damn post with him as my main focal point?  I really can't. However, as I have once again gotten frustrated and depressed, I have really felt a horrible urge to jump in my time machine and escape back to that time once again... the time where he acted crazy and did stupid things just to get to me and spend time with me. The time when he, turning flush red with want, shyly approached me to tell me just how enchanted he was with me. A moment that charged with electricity affects a woman seriously. Gentlemen, it sticks with us... for life. May never see his face again in this lifetime, but not a day goes by that I don't think of him. I was an adult female, but I became a grown woman in ...

On A Crazy Train... Happy Birthday to Ozzy Osbourne , who is sixty ( 60 ) years old today. It's been quite a ride, and I've always been a fan... from Black Sabbath , to "The Ozzman Cometh" and on, and through his host of great guitarists. The funny thing is, with all of our 'musical heroes' turning fifty-something, sixty, seventy and beyond, it only serves as a wake up call to the children that we still subconsciously hang onto. In other words, it reminds me that I am not "that kid" anymore, no matter how much I try to be, or how immature I seem to remain. We've come a long, long way since those early days when MTV changed the world, or Friday Night Videos were the highlight of our Friday nights (this was before we could date of course, and Stacey and Kristie were forced to stay up for this, but rarely made it. They probably remember "Friday Night Videos" in an entirely different light). So you go to sleep one night, and you're ...

It's very hard to sum-up how I am feeling tonight. It's a strange melancholy. I am mixed up between getting the holiday spirit and thoughts of organizing my house and decorating with festive bells and whistles, and trying to shield myself from cold, hard realities. I would go into it right now if I could, but I really don't have all of the words to illustrate everything that's in my heart. However, I will forewarn you that the next few days, while I am trying to work it out, there may be some depressing, emotional posts. So if you don't want to get dragged under my painful current, then read with caution. Innocence is fleeting, I should've had a harder life to prepare me for some of the things that I am going to have to go through in these next years, but up until now, nothing has really 'stepped up' to play the part of the teacher, I guess you could say. For now, I go to gather my thoughts... and to prevent further 'rambling', I am just going to...

12/28, yeah. We've today and 3 more days left in this whole entire year. 6 years ago, I skipped on up to the J.P. and said "I Do" to Mr. J., as he did to me. Afterwards, we had Barbecue at a little place in Midtown called "The Bar-B-Q Shop". Sound like the perfect romantic wedding?? lol Probably doesn't, but it's what happened. Some things are more practical than our story-book fantasies, as a result, we saved money and we bought our house about 6 months later... No, it's not my dream home, but it's fine. I am not being negative about the whole thing, I'm just telling how it is. We have a good life, everything we need and share a lot of laughs and love. Those are the biggies, right? So I can't say I'm doing bad, not bad at all. Thank you Richie, I'm very happy that we've made it this far, and I hope we can look forward to many more... Happy Anniversary. I Love You. :) You can't make it to "I Do", however without ...

Yogi Berra once said, " When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it. " Looking back, I think I did a pretty good job of that. I never worried much over decisions, I always tended to follow my big giant heart. Sometimes it got me into trouble, or didn't end well, but for the most part, things always turned out alright. I'm still kicking, and I haven't gone off the deep end... not yet. Remember those books where you could choose 'what happens next' and it determined the way the story would end? I believe in destiny, and I believe that everything happens for a reason. However, I still think each decision we make is a part of the lessons we learn in the big scheme of things, and we shape these destiny's by the choices we make... Just like our very own book... We choose our circumstances, and we control how we deal with life; we write the ending. Thinking on some of these 'forks' I've encountered on my own personal highway, I pondered some ...

Well, I'm playing a bit of Ketchup today in my work, since I was in training class yesterday-which went fine, I rather enjoyed it. Got my web skills fresh on the brain and all. Guess I'll just post another semi-short one today, as I haven't really had time to write up anything new. I do plan on continuing to bring you the rest of my Butterflies, Zebras and Moonbeams saga, so if you're enjoying that then look for more of it soon. If you haven't read it, you can click This Link Or The Link Above and you can go through parts I - III and 'Ketchup'. :) Before Mother's Day, I had spoken about the family and there seems to be an ever-increasing gap growing between us all. Each of my family members has been through way more than they deserve, I don't deny that. My sisters each have their crosses to bear, with pains that they have experienced; so does my Mother by a long shot. I have been through a good bit but nothing compared to them yet, but I'm sur...

I have trust issues. I'm admitting it... So much at times that I wonder who I can truly rely on. Maybe I get this from my Mother, who lately seems to be putting us all through constant passive-aggressive type guilt trips over not being able to 'rely on us', but that she doesn't want us doing anything for her and refuses to burden us with any of her troubles or needs. It's becoming so frustrating to me that it makes me want to scream. I understand that everyone gets tired of bearing the burden, and feel like they have to go it completely alone, I feel the same way sometimes... But I find outlets, either I write it out whether in personal journal form, or the blog, which has become quite a therapeutic tool for me. Those that read the blog can choose to read or not read it, comment or not, and sometimes when I voice what I am going through it can help someone else who might be going through similar changes to get through theirs, and 'go another mile' (so-to-spe...

“You can't go home again.” Thomas Wolfe Monday finds me rather emotional and feeling a bit strange after a nice visit with both my parents yesterday afternoon. I have had every intention of writing a story over the weekend, but it just didn't come... Mom, Dad and I ate dinner, and sat around chatting about so many things. Of course, my Dad has been in an increasingly odd state where he will get hooked on a subject and he can't seem to let it go. If he wants something done, he'll repeat it 20 times until you have done what it is he wants. Lately, he's obsessing over this country song that I sang for him at the family reunion and it's all he can talk about (makes Mom play the demo that I recorded long ago in Nashville over and over). Then he'll ask me repeatedly if I remember a certain event (from the past) that happened before I was born and I'll have to tell him no once again. Mom will jump in and remind him "Dad, Jackie wasn't even born yet....

Saturdays are great, I should be getting something done, but I do so enjoy 'vegging out' sometimes... as with eating ice cream, however, I always feel like crap afterwards. Since it is so close to Valentine's Day (maybe one of the most sadistic holidays ever commemorated), I thought I would give you guys all a cavity with a story I wrote a couple years ago. Dig in! It's calorie free. "The Sweetest Season", originally written by Jacqueline Wood around Valentine's Day 2005 Winter being 'not quite over', but summer being so far away, things didn't seem very hopeful (as usual). It's not as if this year was any different than any other year. The halls were abuzz with laughter, chatter and romance was in the air. All of the girls and guys awaited the weekly school newspaper even more than ever this week because they knew that they would surely find a romantic dedication from 'that special love.' It was a magical time for any teenager… ...

No matter how old we get, we're still "growing", learning, experiencing ups and downs that come with the lessons of life... "Growing Pains" if you will. Do you ever gauge yourself or your accomplishments against your age? Do you maybe get upset, because you're "this many" years old, and you have yet to ( fill in the blank )? I think I do this... I feel as though I have always tried hard, and treated people very well no matter what it was I was doing, and my only sin in that is probably that I wasn't "assertive" enough, or maybe lacked the motivation to rise on up, and wasn't a 'cut-throat' or backstabber. Just upsetting when someone who hasn't gone through nearly as many trials, life, who hasn't been at it even half as long, can just waltz off with some prize, have something just fall into their lap... totally undeserved. Unreliable folks who simply treat those around them with nothing but disrespect and ill-manne...