Deep In The Forrest

Ahhh yes, hospitals are so much fun. The cuisine is amazing, right? The beds and accomodations, oh so comfy. Now admittedly, I have not been in and out of hospitals at all throughout my life, with the exception of a couple outpatient type things, and my tonsil surgery when I was 5. I fancied myself one of those strong Amazon Vixens that went through most if not the entirety of life without being hospitalized, or having to deal with medical issues. Though I don't really speak about it in very much detail publicly, and may have briefly given an overview on the blog, will for the sake of my own history timeline detail a bit of what transpired. Everything started this past fall (September to be exact) when I had some issues, and went in to the doc, and was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. Yes that big C that can scare the crap out of anybody really, but once you gather yourself together, realize that you have no choice but to make quick decisions, hopefully the best ones that you ca...

Well, I am at it once more, wallowing in a pool of sexy, romantic, memory inducing music. I have been doing this for a couple of days now. When this happens, sometimes it is with a certain person from my past on my mind ( Z ). Sometimes it is just a melted together memory storm of everyone and everything I've been through, as the years have zoomed by. Time gets away from me, time causes me pain with the passing of it and with all that comes and goes with it. The dirty bastard will take your loved ones, steal your lovers, sit up with you on long, lonely nights and remind you the exact moment you took that dastardly turn and your whole world went wrong. He is a truly heartless scumbag at times. Hey no worries, I'm not in a bad mood, so don't come at me with any lectures about keeping on the sunny side of life, please. I'm just running off at the mouth. That's what this is for, I can vent, I can wax poetic, I can simply entertain, whatever I feel... my blog right? ...

I've been thinking a lot about those feelings I've had lately of needing to get away from it all, and feeling like a recluse half the time; wishing I had some secret spot to go where I could just be chilled out with my thoughts... Lately, just about everything has been getting on my nerves or draining me of all my physical and emotional energy. I'm seriously starting to wonder, am I officially " Burned Out "? So, I googled "Burned Out" and found numerous pages describing the symptoms of it, and comparisons between Stress and just being Burned Out... I couldn't tell for sure, so I took the blogthings quiz... It tells me: You Are 93% Burned Out You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy. Are You Burned Out? Anyway, what can you truly do when you are tra...

Well, Happy Mother's Day to all of my "Mothers" out there and even those that play the part of a mother, whatever the circumstances are. Know that you are appreciated and remember that life would not exist without you. That's alot of pressure, but you're doing just fine! Go and Seize the Day!! It's yours... just don't do anything that I WOULD do, and you'll probably make it through unscathed... lol I'm getting prepared to go down to my very own Mother's house today to celebrate her. But it's getting harder and harder to do that. The woman who has always been uplifting and angelic to me has been increasingly bitter and sad. I'm having the worst time dealing with it--She apologizes sometimes for sounding so bad and then reinforces that 'She has been lucky, and she doesn't mean to complain'. I know it's taking its toll taking care of my Father, in his declining condition and all, he has his good days and his bad. She has t...

First of all, my apologies if I haven't made it by your blogs lately, I have tried and have been by as many as I could, but I have been so bogged down by business... Guess I've done o.k. considering. But today is Good Friday , so I will spend some time this morning catching up with you all. Looking at my Archives today, I realized that I have been nurturing and developing this blog for around 9 months. So, in a way it's sort of like a baby that has barely just been "born", so-to-speak. Well, it still has a long way to go I guess, just like any of us do... maybe one day when it grows up it could be a Novel! Imagine that! But for now, it's just a bouncing baby blog that needs love and care while it develops. ;) Now, that may sound silly to many of you who are of the opinion that being on the computer, is wasting time or taking away from your life (the other more meaningful one). But for someone like me, who has always taken pleasure in the written word, and enjo...