Friday, June 29, 2007

You've Got The Touch

Ok, that video for Big Girls Don't Cry was sickening... so I've replaced it with a little Dirk Diggler... yes, that's right it is "You've Got The Touch."

Much better placeholder for me until I come back with one of my always-amazing, thought provoking posts... which I will shortly, so COME BACK!!! :0

If you're just DYING to see the "Big Girls Don't Cry" video still, you can click below... ok?? Don't say I didn't warn you though... It's excrutiating.
Big Girls Don't Cry (With "Mr. Pregnant")

DO come back in just a bit after I post again, and comment back to me--I've been neglected this week and AuntJackie turns rather sinister when neglected. (Kind of like Captain Corky). :)

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Noise Pollution

This morning, there seemed to be a great deal of noise around me. I am not a morning person in the least (let me stress that: AM NOT a morning person at all!). So when I am trying to begin my daily activities, I am at my best when things (near my desk) are pretty dull and quiet. However, there are those occasions when they are not quiet at all. There are "speakerphone calls" going on at 2 or 3 different locations at the same time, or there are 'mini-meetings' going on directly behind me (even while the speakerphone-fests are still happening). Just general traffic flow to and from the printer that I sit right near can be noisy enough. It can drive you to inhale white-out some days (and maybe even those niftyl 'Dry Erase' markers... I'm just sayin!). As the day goes along, of course, I get better, and better... Best to catch me sometime after lunch.

Not RIGHT after lunch, you understand, as most of the time there is a 'buffer' period needed after lunch to re-adjust to the work flow... I'd say, 1 to 2 hours maybe? But wait, no that would bring us to nearly 3:00. If you have anything of importance to discuss with me, don't catch me near 3:00 because that's really time for me to get back up and stretch my legs... "afternoon break" if you will... after all, we can't sit too long, it's not good for the circulation or our backs. This could take anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes, depending on break activity. Once I return, I normally have a few things that require my attention. Important Deadlines... you know.

These have to be finished before the end of the day, more than likely, so any time left between 4:30-5:00 is taken up by making certain I have not forgotten anything important, and preparing to leave. So whatever it is that you need to speak to me about is going to have to wait until tomorrow... sorry.

Oh, and back to what I was saying about noise and distraction. It becomes so unbearable in fact that I have to plug in my headphones and turn up the music.

After all, Rock and Roll ain't Noise Pollution... so today, here were the songs that got me through the morning (in no particular order, and probably a few times rotated).

AC/DC - That's the Way I Wanna Rock N' Roll, High Voltage, Sin City...
Agents of Oblivion - Paroled In '54, Dead Girl, Big Black Backwards...
Lamb of God - Redneck, Foot to The Throat, Walk With Me In Hell...
Jimi Hendrix - Fire, Room Full of Mirrors, Voodoo Chile...
Kiss - I Stole Your Love, Lick It Up
Van Halen - Show Your Love!

Rock On, and I'll certainly try to.


Hope you got the chance to catch Meggy Moon's Crazy Talk tonight, which was even crazier since I called in and talked with Meggy on the air! That's right, me... So if you didn't listen in live, then do please go to the url and click up on tonight's broadcast, which is archived there along with all of her other shows... It was great fun, she had alot of good info going on, and she also played a few of our songs... Then again, you could go and listen in just to hear my sensational sexy southern voice, right?? Grab some tissues, and head on over for an earful of Me talking to Meggy Moon! Enjoy...

Today's Funny Quote of the Day:
Stephen King - "I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Stolen (A Dedication)

This just crossed my mind, and I thought I would share a new poem. I can't speak the dedication. It is more important to protect an innocent season that still has a chance to blossom from spring to summer.

"Stolen" (new, written by me)
© 2007 Jacqueline Wood

I am that same girl
just hidden under skin
scratch the wound open
see just where I've been

Once like you
with hopes and dreams
and thoughts of knowing all

Who'd have thought
when you were small
you had such power
to take it all
take it all away?

What if you knew
what your existence brought?
What if you knew
how hard I fought,
to forget it all
and start so new
and push away the memory
that there ever was a time
it was any different
than the now?

What would you do
if someone like you
changed your life forever
for good or for the better?

How would you feel,
if he traded in your sunrise
for million a rainy day?
What if he too went away?
Took your innocence along,
could you be so strong?
How about forgiveness...
imagine that?
imagine that!

Could you forgive her
for being the reason?
Forgive her for
killing the season
of Love?
of Love!

Sometimes it takes forever
to wrestle death to the floor
and talk yourself into
believing in what is
behind the other door...

Sometimes it takes forever
to forget that which in
a moment was stolen away
Sometimes your path
is led astray...

What can I say?
Do I forgive you?
It's hard to say.

Great News for Zombies

I found the following little quiz while over at ZigZagMan's place. It was a quiz about what 'rating' your blog would get. His rated an NC-17. Mine is totally just embarrassing. So I moved on to another little quiz... I decided I wanted to see what chance I had of surviving a Zombie Apocolypse.

This is not good news. Looks like I am going to have to step up my game and start a little Zombie preparedness. I need to increase my collection of weapons, maybe do a little target practice (I am really good with guns, but hey I am a little out of practice). I also need to stock up on more 'Apocolypse Food' it would seem. Also, I need to get my fitness level back in good range for running from the zombies... I would be good for MAYBE a mile, then it would be all she wrote.

I don't have much of a problem when it comes to caring what happens to the strangers, or opening doors when I hear a noise, but I would be lagging behind when it came to trying to save a loved one or two. All in all, I have alot of work to do before I would successfully be the last one standing. If you'll excuse me, I must get to work and begin the preparedness, you simply never know when this zombie outbreak might descend upon a city... any city. How prepared are you? ;)

Monday, June 25, 2007

Idiot Du Jour

This is the Monday "Don't Try This At Home" segment. This guy clearly had already drank enough to rid him of his logic... You should blow the flame out on the shot BEFORE you drink it. Let that be a lesson to you all!! :)

Clowning Around

I had recently been reminded of my strong distaste for Clowns over at Barnze's blog. He's had a couple of posts about them, although he and I have always agreed that clowns are 'evil f#&ckers' LOL! So in honor of Barnze, and and any of the rest of us that can't stand these completely 'UN-Funny' freaks, I thought, how better to start our Monday, than do a little Clowning Around! :O)

First off, when searching for something particularly freakish about clowns I was very disturbed to find THIS LINK (go ahead click it, if you dare). (Not for the faint of heart, where clowns are concerned).

Then if that's not enough, I found even more evidence that Clowns are unfit for society and dangerous creeps! Read: 'Kasper the Clown' faces prison for punching schoolboy.

I know some people like them, but I know a ton of people who share my views on them. They're heinous, creepy and usually have something to hide in their dark clown-closet with their big red nose and over-sized shoes... I see no reason whatsoever that anyone would ever need the services of a clown... And Mimes are pushing it!! So, it is with great pleasure that I present the following video... a clown gets what all clowns deserve. Enjoy!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Tired Like Roadkill

All is well on the home front after my extended ancient aging rituals (a.k.a. Birthday celebrations). Our Gig went really well! We got a pretty good response from everyone. As I sang, I scanned the audience, and saw lots of people rocking out. There was quite an interesting mix of people there too. Even though we had already gone over our time, the club owner asked us to do one more song! She said "Rock Me!" So we did. The sound was mixed very well, and my vocals rocked... We got much positive feedback, one of the waitresses even told me she thought I sounded amazing & wished I could come and sing her to sleep (was that a pass or just a compliment? Rockdog and Zig be quiet! LOL!).

Of course, we stayed afterwards for the next act so it was late when we left... Then Mr. J was supposed to be following me so I could show him the way out. I had my co-worker, Vikram in the car and Richie had his friend Kenny in the truck. I was watching carefully, when I got on the interstate ramp, he was still nearly behind me then I saw him rush past madly, and I thought it was rather odd... Then I worried that he was going to get lost, as his friend Kenny drunkenly handed me Mr. J's cellphone and I forgot to give it back to him, so my mind was fluttered with thoughts of him being broken down with no cell phone and getting in dire straits! I dropped off my co-worker, went home and found him there safe and sound. He said that some scrawny bony guy had cut him off, then flipped him off so he was going to chase him down and pulverize him but lost him. LOL! All's well that ends well as I always like to say.

So then Saturday was my big Birthday Weenie Roast (stop snickering Zig and Rockdog), at my parents' house. We had a nice time there too, watched the video of our Gig, which went fine for a few songs, but then lost focus (it was an old video camera), but the sound still persevered and we were able to hear it all. It sounded great!

So after we stayed up late making 'smores and having homemade vanilla ice cream... Mr. J and I Crashed out watching the Reno 911 movie, and slept until around 10:00 this morning (he slept til nearly noon)... I am still a little zonked though. I'm definitely not ready to start yet another nasty Monday.

Oh yeah, just in case you ever find yourself somewhere near this area (and we all have at some point), at least know there's hope! LOL! Have a good week folks, and always be prepared for anything 'cuz you know we're living on a crazy planet! ;)

Friday, June 22, 2007

Too Many Spankings to Speak Of

Approximately 9:01 a.m. on a beautiful Monday morning (not all THAT long ago), the world became blessed with the light of one very special child. The Mother was ecstatic as this was the baby she had been praying for! She named her Jacqueline Dawn (although she nearly named her something else entirely, but wished to name her after her Dad). So it was on this day that she was born... The world did not know what a serious "Butt Whooping" it was about to get, and as well, the Guardian Angels did not know how hard their job was about to be! They have all done very well, however as she is still alive and kicking... Her Mom called this morning (very early) to tell her "Happy Birthday Dawn of the Morning!"

Happy Birthday to Me!

Let's have a look back in history for the ever-changing, all-powerful Aunt Jackie:

Here I am crushing my inchworm, circa (approx) 2.5 years old.

12th Birthday at McDonald's (I'm the one on the right of course, with the orange balloon)

"Hammer Time!"

The Platinum Period ;)

And finally, the devil's final conquest...
All Settled down... Yeah right! :P

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Elvis Is Dead. I Don't Feel So Good Myself

You guys really think you're something don't you? I mean you really have an ego, and it shows. Men have it made! You seem to handle aging much better than us... you know, 'the girls'. We don't really get this. Just about the only reason I can think of is that nobody makes you feel worthless if you aren't still '20something' anymore, or if you get gray hair (you get called suave and "distinguished"). Depending on your circumstances, people even look over your ample beer gut or your worst habits. Then there is the sexuality and fertility issue, you guys are made to feel like aging gives you more charming or virile qualities. You can also continue to father children as long as you're reasonably functional. We have an 'expiration date'. Although it is completely unfair, it's not an argument that's really worth tackling because I'm sure most of you would say... "Hey, it's just the way it is." Right? So be it.

Anyway, on the way in this morning I'm listening to Howard Stern. He had Jon Bon Jovi (who still looks pretty good for his age) on, and he was talking about the way the music industry was pretty much ruined these days, and talking about the quality of music out there. Still he continues to write, and put forth his creativity for us all. I think that no matter how old a person gets, an artist/musician/creator of anything will always continue to try and give their talents to the world. That type of thing doesn't have an expiration date... I mean, it may not be as well-received from generation to generation, but still you can keep on keeping on as long as you're able to think straight... Hearing him talk, and listening to a couple of his newer songs just kind of made me sad though, as his more 'popular' albums were a big part of the past for me... for many different reasons.

Thinking about all of this, and along with dreading my upcoming 'birthday', I began to think about how strange it is that I am just now getting into this music thing. Whereas most people pop out and try to make it when they're teenagers or at least 20ish, I have only recently been fortunate enough to find people with similar interests and talent to try to work with. Everything happens for a reason I guess, I always try to believe that. Still, you have to wonder sometimes why things turn out the way they do, and sometimes why things turn out WHEN they do... Gotta trust and move on, and try to squeeze every drop of enjoyment out of this short-lived ride that we can though, you know?

So what? I'm getting a late start, and I'm going to be doing a "Gig" on my birthday. That's not a bad present... Opening up for a guy who's pretty well known around these parts anyway. Getting radio play on a local station, it's all pretty cool. It cannot go without a comedic slant... of course!

This is the part where I say that it leads me to wonder... Following in the footsteps of so many legendary "Greats" by performing on stage, how on Earth am I going to measure up?? Take Elvis for example... He was a superb entertainer... and in his early days, he was quite well-groomed, and had all the ladies' attention, which didn't seem to change much even when he became 'fat Elvis'. That proves my earlier point. (You don't see Rosanne Barr or Carnie Wilson having any "groupies"). So there is pressure to live up to a certain "look". Especially for the lead singer, and especially if the lead singer is female.

"Grooming is of the utmost importance to an entertainer."

Secondly, what about stage antics?? I am still in that 'nervous' stage, and not quite knowing my place up there. I'm behind my keyboard, and I'm warming up to trying to entertain the audience although I haven't quite made it to the "Steven Tyler" level yet. I'm afraid if I tried anything saucy, I might break something or even worse, embarrass myself greatly... would it be worth it?

All of our 'lost musical heroes', such as Jimi, Kurt, Big E and others might be behind the scenes rooting for me with all of their might and if I can't quite live up to all their lofty expectations, it's entirely possible that they all get together somewhere out there in the great wide cosmos, and have a horrendous laugh at my expense... This simply cannot happen. I've got to get it together, drop the nervous act, pretend that 'The Force Is With Me', go out there and give it all I've got... and then some!

What I need, though is some type of big finish. I'm racking my brain! I mean what would 'The King' Do?? Knowing him, he would send the audience spinning with some highly-complicated, fine-tuned karate maneuvers, designed full-well to show off the shine of his sequined jumpsuit, and then come out with a big, big finish, drop it like it's hot and then the announcer would do that "Elvis Has Left The Building" vocal and the stadium would go berserker! That's it! It's what I have to do, right?

Unfortunately, I feel less like the shiny sequined star-powered Elvis, and much more like his fat, evil, and significantly less-appealing doppleganger shown below... Wish me luck, I think I'm gonna need it!
"Elvis has eaten the Building!" And, I'm also going to make note
that the tragic 'toe' is probably a stage no-no (at least for him!).

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Take The Power Back

(Meanwhile, at the Forrest, while the rest of the world sleeps peacefully...)

2:00 a.m. I wake up, freaking out thinking that I am running late. Oddly, I feel perfectly refreshed (wide-awake in fact) and ready to start the day. However, looking at the clock when I realize it is only 2 a.m., I force myself to go back to sleep and catch 'a few more winks'.

5:40 a.m. the alarm begins its daily act of terrorism, but I don't hear it until closer to 6:00.

5:55 a.m. I roll over slightly and nudge Richie, telling him it is '6 and ask him (rather inaudibly) if we're going to the gym'? To be a good sport, I nudge him a couple more times, he seems unresponsive so I hit the snooze button and settle back into my feather pillow.

6:20something, I hit the snooze again and then again a few more times... by now, feeling sleepy enough to probably sleep until noon.

7:14 a.m. I jump up, and begin the arduous task of opening my now sleep-welded eyes.

7:25 a.m. I enter the shower, wash hair and of course by now have to hurry through my shower and frantically find clothes to wear, skipping make-up altogether.

7:36 a.m. While brushing my teeth, think about my Birthday, realize that the show at we're playing at the Stage Stop is almost here, worry and wonder what I'm going to wear, and if I'm going to have enough time and be prepared. Charle's Shultz's words echo in my head about 'only dreading one day at a time', and painfully, I realize it is still only Wednesday and that I have simultaneously dreaded 3 days at once.

7:45 a.m. I trip over the cat looking for my shoes as I stumble down the hallway only to discover a nice, shiny pile of dogs#!t in the work-out room. I don't have time to deal with that at the moment, so I decide to let Richie discover it when it's his turn to trip over the cat and stumble down the hall.

I scramble around finding last minute things I haven't taken the time to gather together beforehand, look for my keys, take one last look at the overly-high heeled sandals I have chosen to wear for the day and wonder how many times I might trip and fall, decide if it is worth it... and finally-

8:10 a.m. Kiss Richie bye, remind him it's time for him to get up, exit house... Crank up the car, and hit the road towards the office; Of course land behind the slowest idiot on the road, making the choice to remain as close to the speed limit as possible because I do not need another ticket, and for some reason it is always me they come after, me--going 5 miles over the speed limit and not the crazed maniac that just flew past me going 93 in a 40.

8:35 a.m. Arrive at the parking garage, and have a conversation with the attendant about how they had to re-program the computers and still haven't re-entered everyone into the system, so 'hopefully, they will have my parking card back in the system soon" and so on and so on (yeah, gotta go!!)...

8:40 a.m. Actually sit down in my chair and begin my tasks, flip open my google homepage and read my horoscope. It informs me:

" Wednesday, June 20, 2007 : Too much data can be rather overwhelming today as you try to filter out the unnecessary noise. In order to minimize the flow of information, stop asking questions once you discover what you need to know. You can lessen the mental emphasis while reducing your sense of overload by taking any kind of positive action. Doing something is better than just thinking about it. " more from »

8:59 a.m. A shrill annoying cellphone rings across the other side of my cubicle, so I plug in my earphones and turn up my 'noisemaking fan' trying to shut out that and the rest of the annoying office noise. Hmmm, my horoscope is looking kind of truthful so far!! Guess I better go ahead and take its advice and "do something"... (I wonder if that included me 'thinking about' taking that incessantly ringing cellphone and flushing it down the toilet in the ladies' room?)

So how is your day?? ;)

3:30 p.m. Collected up a few people and went down to Smooth Moves for a Grape Smoothie, sat outside for a little 'break', and discussed the t.v. show "Heroes".

3:40-3:45 p.m. Were approached and hit up by at least 3 panhandlers.

4:00 p.m. Re-read some blog entries; laughed to self.

4:46 p.m. Sitting here, counting the minutes until 5:00!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Motorcycle Madness

I got a motorcycle for Christmas when I was about 12. It was a "Honda MB5" built for only one person and could be driven on the road, but still I drove my nieces and my sister around whenever nobody was looking. It was a great two-wheel vehicle, and I got a ton of enjoyment out of the thing. Looking back now, I cannot imagine what possessed my Mother to agree to me owning a motorcycle because she was so overprotective. Now, even my husband won't agree to let me have one... maybe I'll eventually wear him down.

What is it we chicks dig about motorcycles? I've been a fan ever since fifth grade when I pledged my eternal love to "The Fonz" during Happy Days re-runs. From then on, I was hooked. Whenever I would see one on the road, my heart would leap and my imagination would run wild with fantasies of riding off on the long highways with a handsome, roughneck on a "Hog". Fonz was the least of Mama's worries, however as this obsession would later in life cause me to, in fact, make a couple of not-so-phenomenal decisions.

First came Bob. When he was in High School, he was one of the most popular guys who received honors such as "Most Handsome" and "Best All Around", etc. I knew who Bob was, and although I was still in elementary school, [as you remember I have told you I was always boy crazy], I had an insane crush on him. I was 10 or 11 years old and he worked at the local movie theatre. So I embarrassed myself a time or two making 'goo goo eyes' at him whenever my Dad would take me to the movies... He didn't know, nobody knew. But I did.

When I reached the age of about 16, I met up with him again (he was about 23 by this time). See, I was burning up the roadways in my 1977 Chevrolet Impala. It was a big heap of metal, that old car was. It had only an A.M. radio but it got me where I wanted to go, and that was to chase Bob around on his Motorcycle. Sometime he was driving his car, but I was totally infatuated with him by now, so I didn't care what he drove anymore. If he was around town, I would make it my business to be somewhere in the vicinity. He dated "Carmen" off and on... she was an older, popular blonde bimbo that went to our school, with quite the reputation. Still, I actually thought I had a chance with him.

Finally, I had decided that Bob was the guy I wanted to lose my virginity to, so I wrote him a long and detailed letter telling him exactly what was on my mind. We drove through the apartment complex near the college where he and friends used to habitually play Hacky Sack, and I handed him the note. When I think back about it, I had some Stugots to do this.

He took it from my hand, smiled with those wicked green eyes and said, "Thanks." We remained in the friend zone and he never changed the way he treated me, but he never mentioned my note or what I had proposed to him... Eventually, life changed and we didn't see each other for a long time, then it was just off and on. He ended up getting married to a girl named "Susie" who he had gotten pregnant, and I had moved on to so many other "Crushes" since him.

That is, until one fateful day in 1993 when my friend Shiree and I were on our way somewhere-as we spent most of our time on the road-we again spotted what we thought was a 'hottie' on a motorcycle. We chased the guy up the Interstate, through about the next three exits to try and catch up to him. Finally, he pulled off at the Hernando exit, and so did we. Lo and behold, it was Bob. History certainly does repeat itself sometimes. We chatted for a bit, then we went on about our business, but now we knew where he lived.

Something wouldn't let this rest, and it echoed in my head that he'd said "Y'all come up and see me sometime." So later that evening, I went back to Hernando... this time, by myself. I caught him at home, and we sat outside talking for a good while. He and Susie were no longer together, and we caught up on old times... he then brought up 'the letter' that I had handed him those years ago. He admitted to me how he had thought seriously about doing it, but that all he could imagine was being in front of the judge and going to jail... we had a good laugh. We saw each other a few times after that... it's funny how sometimes reality doesn't even come close to living up to your expectations, isn't it? Some things are just better left a fantasy.

"Live To Ride, Baby!"

Then there was "Midnight". He happened during my Community College days, still some of the best days of my life looking back. It was during the greatly fulfilling era when I was gainfully employed by Wal*Mart Stores, Inc., and working in Ladies' apparel. The night happened to be a quiet one, and I was manning a small 'phone booth' that we housed in our department, where the store made it the duty of the members of the Ladies' apparel section to answer the phones and to make all of the Intercom pages.

So, there I was in the booth when my co-worker, Sherry's boyfriend Stanley came through the department to see her, and some of his friends were with him. I knew one of them, and recognized the other guy, Darryl Ingram. He was a roughneck looking guy, and I had seen him around campus on his motorcycle. I had noticed him, and thought he was hot. Even though he was rotten and completely wrong for me, I was totally attracted. He came over to where I was sitting, came straight up to me while the others were making conversation and blurted out "Hey! When are you going to let me take you out??"

I gave him a sly smile back, and said, "I don't know... you gonna take me riding on that motorcycle of yours?"

He said he was having some work done on it but would oblige with a ride as soon as it was fixed... So, I gave him my dorm room phone number and it didn't take him long to call. I don't know really if you could say we really "Dated", but we had some entirely fun midnight rendezvous. So much so, that my niece, Stacey (a year younger than me, and at the time attending the same college but different dorm) began to worry that I was out of my dorm way too late. She would leave me painfully concerned messages, and poems and silly bored commentary. She affectionately nicknamed Darryl "The Midnight Caller", and eventually shortened it to simply "Midnight".

I'd either pick him up in my Pontiac 1000, or he would pick me up in his old beat-up Datsun (just until he got his motorcycle fixed). Midnight and I "dated" until I met and fell in Love with my cute puppy-dog eyed Marine, Lee and that was all she wrote. I immediately kicked him to the curb and stopped answering his midnight calls.

All's fair in Lust and Harley's I guess... But you know? Come to think of it, I never did get that ride on either their motorcycles... the jerks.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Of Fox And Hound

Hope your weekend was great! I just thought I would start off Monday by sharing with you 3 candid shots of Mr. J enjoying a nice brew (they're just cam phone shots, so they're not the best quality). Does this make you beer-fanatics thirsty on a Monday?? :)

**Coming tomorrow, Aunt Jackie's mischievous adventures with motorcycle men send her screeching down the highway...

Saturday, June 16, 2007

This Is For The Dad In You

Happy Father's Day to everyone who's a "Dad". Remember, any man can be a Father, but it takes a very special man to be a "Daddy". :) Mine is top-notch, and I'm going to see him this weekend, so you guys have a safe and happy one--I'm going to sing him a song and give him a big Father's day hug... Everyone at least do something nice for your parents this weekend, if they are still with us--For those of you who's parents have moved on to the next level, don't feel bad... they're watching over you, and haven't gone far. They're in the breeze that's flowing through your hair, they're the butterflies that may light on you strangely. They're everywhere. :)

Talk to you when I return.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Friday Poetry Slam

Thought I would start off the day with a little poetry, something I wrote recently. Don't let it alarm you (that is for family). Just something I had to get off my chest. Have a great Friday.

©2007 Jacqueline Wood

Hole in my head
nothing worth fighting for
can't make things right
my soul, now a festering sore
my mind is scrambled
like filthy embryo on the floor
cobwebs in my
jumbled black closet
trying to forget
but I can't chase away
the prophetic past
stuck on perpetual play
I'm fucking you
but not like you think
pain just pushing me
to the brink
The monster that I've become
is the same one
I saved the others from
Bullets like skulls
in my eyes
one plus one = none
surprise, surprise

Failures Deserve Recognition Too

Now I'm a firm believer in try, try again. And we're humans so we live to make mistakes and learn from them. Hence my work e-mail signature->

"Only those who do nothing at all make no mistakes."

There comes a time however, when you need to change courses, or get the hint that you're on the wrong path. This brings me to the new feature I am bringing to my blog called the "Aunt Jackie Give-It-Up" Award.

Therefore, the first ever "Give It Up" award goes to this guy.

Read: Man fails school exams on 38th try

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Tag-Along With Me

First of all, here's my "Quote du Jour": Charles M. Schulz - "I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time."

Just because it's been a long week... now, that being said:

ZigZagMan Zure Zapped Me Zagain with his "8 things"....tag. Let's see what I can do.

First things first, here are the rules as they were posted to if you should be tagged as well, here are the guidlines...:)

I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Zere Zew Zgo Zig!!!

1) Going to Karaoke is something I love, but nobody ever wants to do with me.

2) I get pretty ugly cases of Road Rage.

3) When I play my music, I like to think I 'channel' the talent from creative souls who've passed on.

4) Black and White movies are creepy to me, and always depress me, no matter if they're funny or not.

5) I'm a totally horrible housekeeper.

6) I was blessed with nothing but talent (musically and artistically).

7) I tend to be somewhat superstitious (get that from my Mom).

8) I look in the mirror and I truly see a monster staring back at me most days.

9) I have to add a number 9 because I honestly believe that 8 is a bad luck number for me, so I avoid it.

There....stick that in yer pipe and smoke it!!!!! :)

ok...who to tag.....who to tag......hrrrm......

1 Cappy Cuz He's the Coolest!

2 Barnze Cuz He's a badass.

3 FourDinners Cuz He's a F-- um, Fine Gentleman! (hehe)

4 Chelly Cuz she's Chic

5. Jinks Cuz she's Just Perfectamundo!

6. Nothingman Cuz he's Necromantic!

7. Chucky Cuz he's so Chipper (especially when I tag him)

8. Chalice Cuz she's Cheerful and loves a Challenge!

9. Oh, and Beefcake Almighty Cuz he is a Cosmic Reminder I needed nine lucky souls to tag! Thanks for saving my cosmic butt. :)

You're "IT" Guys!!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Face First!

When you see the ripe red watermelons, you truly know that summer has arrived.

We should remember to immerse ourselves in joy and the sweetness of life like kids do. As you can see in this photo of my niece Reanna and nephew, Jackson-they have no problem diving in Face First. Never grow up guys, EVER! Hold on to that magic... Here's to Summer.

Happy Birthday June 15

Best Wishes to friends of Jackie who are having a Birthday Friday, June 15, and you know who you are... I hope for you everything you deserve in life.

This is a song I like by the "Dixie Chicks" called "Voice Inside My Head"... I don't normally listen to very much country music but the lyrics of this song tell a neat story... They touched my heart. I hope you enjoy.

My band's gig went well last night, still mostly people that I know came to see us, but a few stragglers came in. Our friend at the bar said he kept hearing really good comments about us, then he wished us luck at our June 22nd show at The Stage Stop. Kudzus is just a great down-home little place. I love it there... Thanks again Martin and Kudzu's! We'll see you again soon!

I'm quite zapped today, I feel like I stepped out in front of a trolley on Main Street and got smacked... but I'm sure it will pass... just those weeknight gigs can get ya. I'll be trying to play catch up, and have a good deal to do today, but I'll be around to catch up to everyone's blog when I can... those of you who I haven't gotten back around to in a few days, my apologies. I read every chance I get and I'll be back by-don't desert me! :)

Happy Hump Day and stay safe my wonderful readers.
xoxo AJ

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Tips For Tuesday

Today's Tip of the Day!!

Do not wear to work the conspicuously-tight pants, no matter how excited you are that they actually fit, as well as buttoned, even if they seem to be comfortable enough at the time, and yes even if they are not threatening to rip upon entry to your vehicle.

Believe me, later in the day through the mid-day heat, and swealter... and with your after-lunch bloat you will be wishing you had instead worn a "moo-moo" dress (with comfortable shoes).

Seriously... just don't.

That is all.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Monday Rush Hour Sunday Drivers

Rant #1 for Monday:

Monday morning Rush hour is no place for you "Sunday Drivers". Don't get me wrong... I don't have a problem whatsoever with you driving like a snail, and i'm all for safety on the road. What you happen to be doing, however, is not safe. Not that any of you rotten apples of the road are going to listen to what I have to say, but just in case these words don't totally fall on blind eyes, or the proverbial 'deaf ear', here are a few tips for you aliens to the busy rush hour interstates and freeways.

  1. If you're going to drive slow, do it in the appropriate lane and kindly get out of the "Acceleration Lane".

  2. Do not drive slowly in the "Acceleration Lane" and expect people to stay off your ass. If you were going at least the speed limit, or driving in the proper lane for slower traffic, you wouldn't be having the problem.

  3. Furthermore, if you do (oddly enough) have a line of cars riding said bumper, maybe you should think about getting into the slow lane as expected rather than continue to decrease in speed and slam on your breaks as if 'chastising' the other drivers.

  4. If you are getting off at a certain exit, and know this even the slightest bit ahead of time, please be courteous to the other drivers who also happen to have some place to go (that's right, you're not the only one), and go ahead and get into the proper lane for your exit. This keeps the flow of traffic and road rage to a minimum.

All it takes is a little bit of courtesy for your fellow drivers. Just as there are in fact many drivers out there who drive insanely too fast and reckless, there is you (the Sunday Driver) who has no more business driving around like you're the only person on the road than the other guy. Let's just get where we need to go, get out of the way if you need to, try to drive as safely (and efficiently) as possible and get there in one piece everyone!! You can cause an accident fooling around, going too slow and slamming on your breaks in front of people just as easily as driving like a stunt devil. Let's find a happy medium!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Weekend Wood

Waking up on Saturday is always the climax of the week, no matter what you've had going on it feels great when you sleep late, and then know you don't have to go anywhere or do anything if you don't want to... That's exactly what I did yesterday. Once I woke up, I did a few things, watched a little T.V., and fell back asleep for about a 2 hour afternoon doze-fest! When I woke up, it was time to get ready for band practice... We hadn't practiced Thursday night, which is our normal night, but we wanted to work on a few specific songs for our set, so as a band we went out to eat at The Bar-B-Q Shop in Midtown, Memphis. It's top-notch if you're going to be in Memphis and want to try our fine BBQ (and yes, they have beer)! Don't be fooled by the more commercialized "popular" ones... take it from me. So we ate a nice dinner, then we practiced. Mr. J and I then went home and had a nice quiet late evening.

I arrived home too late to listen to Rockdog's Radio show (which is Saturday night at Midnight, Eastern, and as always I have to catch Meggy Moon's Radio show on archive because I can never catch her on Thursday nights at 6PM Central! Do try to catch both of them if you can, it is well worth it! They're my pals. :)

Anyways, today is "Cleaning" day at my house, I am trying to get the house in shape as well as clean up my car if I can before all good daylight is gone... Then it will be time to begin yet another week. Next weekend is Father's Day, so I will have to be prepared for that. I'll be searching for just the right gift, and then I am also going to church with my Mom for Father's Day and am roped into singing a special song for Dad (who says that he is going to force himself to go out so he can hear this song). He's been requesting that I sing this song ever since I sang it at our Family reunion last July in St. Louis... He's in this phase nowadays where if he gets his mind stuck on something he will not let you forget until you do said deed. So, I guess that's what I'll be doing next weekend.

Then the very NEXT weekend is my birthday weekend. Of course, Friday night, June 22nd my band "SAP" will be opening up for Eric Gales at The Stage Stop. But the very next day, Saturday we're planning to have a 'camp out' at my Mom and Dad's house complete with Campfire, roasting hot dogs and Making S'mores. I thought that would be a fun, childish way to spend my birthday weekend... Just pretend to be a kid again. I'm having some friends and family-whoever can come to join me and all of us just act childish and have a blast.

No presents needed, just being together and laughing... That's my present. The last time I had a birthday party like that was my "Sweet Sixteen" birthday party. We had a 'weenie roast' out in the pasture, and for the first time in a while, I had a decent turn-out. Since my birthday is June 22nd, being right in Summertime, most of my friends were always out of town on Vacations and such. I was raised like that--never had that many kids around, except for the ones in my family, so maybe that's why I grew up to be somewhat of a recluse possibly... It's the only excuse I can really think of, so I'll go with it! :)

So everyone enjoy what's left of your weekends, or work shifts for those of you who don't work a normal schedule... Take a deep breath, and hang in there because your next day off, weekend or holiday is before you know it. I'm right here trudging alongside of you... And remember, Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself! (Clue: Laugh, because that's likely my only funny for the week!) ha-ha.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Don't Dream It's Over

It's not quite over just yet... the week that is. I'm thankful that it is Friday though, that's for certain.

Lately I've just been listening to tunes, watching a little t.v. here and there and catching up on some housework when I can.

Last weekend, I happened to see "The Shining" and I sat back and watched it (almost) in its entirety. That brought back some memories... Classic. Let's see, other than that I noticed that "Sometimes They Come Back Again" came on, but I really prefer "Sometimes They Come Back". "The Stand" also aired... all of the parts, like a marathon. I can't abide "The Stand". Maybe I should read the book sometimes if I have time, as I am told that the book really shames the movie anyway... don't they usually?

Other than that, I don't have much to report. Still feeling the need for a nice escape soon... I would love to take a week's vacation and go somwhere really neato, but I doubt I will get to. I never get to go many places, it's just time for life to be boring and uneventful I guess. I'll take uneventful over tragic any day, but I would like a little bit of excitement or something. Playing gigs is fun, maybe that will help out since we have a few planned in the coming couple months... who knows.

There is one song that I have been thinking would be cool to do for some time now, and it's called "The Book Of Love". Yes, I know that's quite a romantic selection, but when played accoustically, kind of 'folky' I rather enjoy this tune... Maybe I'll save it for next time I play for someone's wedding, or maybe I will attend that "Thursday Night Pickin Party" they have at Kudzu's and sing it with those guys... I have heard the Peter Gabriel version, and I heard it also on the movie entitled "The Book Of Love", but so far the best version I ran across was on YouTube. These girls don't appear to be very well known, but I really liked what they did with it. Hope you enjoy it as I did, and as well, have a great weekend!

If you can't view the video, click the link:

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Kudzu's Surely Grows On You

We had a blast last night, and would like to truly thank Kudzu's Bar and Deli, Memphis, TN, for being such a gracious establishment and making us feel like part of the family. For other bands out there, just as everyone else has told us--When you play at Kudzu's, it's a comfortable, friendly environment and it's like playing in your living room. Everyone there is super-nice, and as the review states in the link above, the food is always fantastic and they have a great selection of beers too. Whether you're popping in for an after-work beer, relaxing on the weekend, or coming out to see my band, "SAP" play, you can't lose with Kudzu's... it just grows on you! :)

[read the Amazing Story of Kudzu (the vine) and learn how it got so widespread.]

Anyway, thanks again Kudzu's! You guys are top-notch, and we really love coming there and playing as well as just hanging out. I love those guys from the "Thursday Night Pickin Party" too, we'll be back to see them as well as support others.

The show went well, although it was small to start out with, we'll be there for more Tuesday nights as well as a Saturday, July 14th show! That's right, Saturday night! Then of course, we're still opening on June 22nd at The Stage Stop, for the Eric Gales show.

Special thanks to our buddies, Craig (You Rock!), Meggy Moon (who's site will be updated soon!),my beautiful niece, Kristie and nephew-in-law Rodney, Jinks (Faith) and her husband Bill, Richie's brother Joey, his Mom and Mae, and my friend and co-worker, Vikram for coming out to support us in our first show. You all made it a great time.

My name is Aunt Jackie, and I approve this message. :)

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

All In The Cards

Interesting quote for the day:
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." -
Kurt Vonnegut

I got my drivers license at 15. That's not totally unheard of, I know but it is still rare. Plus, I've been driving something or another since I could walk so I've been driving for... a long time. Around here, drivers licenses or State IDs (for those of you who can't drive but still must prove who you are), are used for multiple purposes. You must present these to the law upon being pulled over, or going through the ever-popular 'Road Block'. Or simply 'getting carded'.

The first time I used mine was when we caught sneaking into the boy's dorm at the local community college. My friend, Kathy was dead set on going over to see some guy she claimed to be friends with. As usual, I was dragged along as an accomplice. So we drive over to 'Quitman Dormitory' I think it was, parked and proceeded straight through the front entrance. No signs of trouble, so we went past the desk, and climbed the stairs to the 2nd floor. Yes, that's right, we made it straight into the eye of the hurricane! Many clothed as well as half-naked guys were walking the halls, looking at us like we were crazy, when all of a sudden we hear the emergency exit open up and a security guard shouting, "Hey! You!!" We took off like a bolt of lightening, flying down the stairs, only to be headed off at the pass by this over-zealous 'career man', and his flashlight (he apparantly took his job way too seriously). He escorted us to Kathy's car, asked to see our IDs... so for the first time, I pulled out my drivers license and I 'got carded'.

He made sure to scare us by threatening that we could be charged with Trespassing, and that he better not see us in this dorm again... Whatever dude!

The second time I used my drivers license was to show proof at the radio station to pick up my prizes! I was still 15 or 16 years of age, and at the time my sister Vickie was in a huge streak of luck 'speed dialing' all the local radio stations, and would always be the winner whenever they had contests. I'm serious, nearly every Memphis radio station knew her by name. So I had been up to visit and they had a contest, she dialed in for me, and surprise-I won! So she drove me downtown (which was always a big deal) to the radio station to pick up my winnings... ah those salad days!

Then I remember the weekend my friends Shiree and Kim and I spent in Atlanta GA. I'd turned 21 just the week before, and was finally old enough to drink but didn't really care that much. However, this particular weekend I had planned on drinking. Kim was driving, so I could just sit back and be careless. Shiree and I had been to the liquor store before Kim got off work, and I bought my fifth of Bacardi 151, and a big Dr. Pepper. I mixed the two, evidently rather strong and we were on our way. I was passed out before we even hit Alabama. I remember them waking me up to stop off at a Subway restaurant bathroom somewhere, where I could barely stand up, then dragging me back to the car and the next thing I knew, we were in Atlanta. It was that weekend that I used my card to get into the clubs we visited in Atlanta, and remember the bouncer eyeballing it ever-so-suspiciously then smiling at me and saying... "Here you go hon, JUST BARELY!!!"

Unfortunately, it made no difference since I had overdone it on the way down. The mere thought of alcohol made me green and putrid, so I spent the rest of the weekend drinking ice-water and pinching guys soberly on the butt. :)

When my drivers license was new, getting carded was a big deal... more so because you didn't 'want' to get carded. Nowadays, it is a big deal if I don't get carded.

Most recently I used my "ID" at one of the more annoying "road blocks" (twice in fact), and then at the World Market, which is the only place Mr. J has found where they sell Hoegaarden beer.

I had decided to be sweet, so I ventured out to pick him up a six pack, and was all-too-happy when the girl asked for my drivers license. Then she eyed it quickly and said, "Ok yeah I was pretty sure you were." In which case I replied with a painful smile, "Oh... now that wasn't nice. You could've just left it at 'Can I see your ID?'"

She tried to make a come-back with "Well, I didn't think you were any older than that... hey you're not THAT much older than ME." But the damage was done. That brings me to the question I spoke of yesterday.

What actually makes us look or seem older? Yes, I know-the obvious answer you might think of is... "Wrinkles, fine lines, dark circles or creases... grey hair?!"

But what if you don't have those things?? I stay out of the sun, take good care of my skin and don't have either of those yet... so I am continuously told. However, people are more and more trying to guess me older. So what are they judging by?? The look on my face that says I've been through Hell and came out the other side ice cold? Or maybe, just being too busy to relax these days and stress has gotten the better of me? Or is it maybe the fact that I'm no longer acting like a Chihuahua on speed, talking all 'valley-girl' and giggling my head off like a dingbat??

Like seriously-Oh-MyGod... Real life tends to take you down a couple of notches... so all you little Chihuahuas remember that ok? Because, your time is surely coming.

So can someone tell me honestly just what it is that shows our age, when it isn't yet skin-deep, but you assume someone is not truly in need of being carded?? Inquiring old minds want to know.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Uncomfortably Numb

I'm back, sort of... I guess. I took a little weekend break from the blog. In fact, I was practically worthless over the weekend, almost like I was in hibernation. I don't know why. Friday night went very nice, we went out to "Kudzu's", which is a little bar in downtown Memphis where we will be playing tomorrow night, our first little gig and all. We went to Kudzu's to hang out and celebrate Richie's birthday, as well as just make an appearance and check out the scene and all. There were some musicians playing there Friday night who are part of a Thursday night event called "Pickin Party". These guys are not exactly a group, but they just hang out and jam together. Their instruments range from their guitars to their ukulele and Dobro. They played many different songs ranging from folk, and old outlaw country stuff to some acoustic versions of pretty known rock songs... They were great.

It was a small group of us just celebrating. Richie's friend Kenneth took off work to come out for his birthday, and of course he was the first to drink too much and pass out. The poor guy that ran the place had to help Richie drag him out, then we couldn't wake him up and he ended up sleeping the rest of the night in my car. All's well that ends well I guess. It was a good night overall.

Woke up Saturday, and as I said I was zombified or something. I don't know what knocked me out, as I didn't drink at all, but I felt like I was the one with the hangover. I was totally worthless I swear... I didn't do a damn thing all day, except for sleep late and then lie around watching movies on t.v.

Saturday night at midnight, I caught Rockdog's Blogtalk Radio Show, which was a hit. If anyone has the time, I highly recommend catching up on his archives, as well as Meggy Moon's. It's good to support your friends, you never know when you'll need their support in return... That's not the reason you should support them, but it is nice too.

Sunday I was still rather useless, but I did manage to do the dishes and play the part of the lioness and provide food for me and my family (Richie, Me, Cat + Dog).

Then our local Rock station, Rock 103, Memphis, had their "local music" show called "The Great Unsigned". They do this show every Sunday night from 8:00 p.m. until 11:00 p.m. They played our song, "Graceful Exit" right towards the end of the show, where they play the newest stuff that they've received. Although Cappy (The Tranquility of Solitude) has played my music before on his Scooter Forums Radio Show (Barnsley Sime), this is the first real 'Airplay' that my band has received... we officially got played by our local radio station. I don't know how big a deal it is, but I guess we're pretty excited by that... their slogan states that '...If you're in a band, and you don't suck, then you can be part of The Great Unsigned". Hey, whatever it takes y'know?

Ok that's basically the recap of the weekend, such as it is... Oddly, I am glad to get back to the grind because at least I am alive and functioning, and working towards accomplishing something. I don't understand why I haven't been able to do this on weekends lately. Either later today, or maybe for tomorrow's post I am going to pose a question about getting carded for various things, and what actually constitutes 'looking your age', or looking/seeming as old or older than you are... I mean, basically if you're not wrinkled and you don't have any gray hair, what about you makes you actually look or seem old?? Be thinking about that and I will elaborate when I can.

Have a great day...

Friday, June 01, 2007

Happy Birthday Richie!

Wow, it is June 1st! This year is passing off so fast! Today is all about one special man... Sincere special birthday wishes going out to the most wonderful guy ever, my very own guitar god, a best friend, and someone who can make me laugh somehow even when I'm sad or mad as hell. He just so happens to be my husband too...

Happy Birthday Richie!!!

I hope you enjoy your new PRS and hope that there are so many more birthdays that we get to celebrate together... I love you more than you know. :) Have a perfect, rockin day! You deserve it. (Don't worry folks, I'll make sure he gets to have plenty of his favorite brew tonight! I will look out for him! ) :)