Deep In The Forrest

I'm struggling, daily. I am unhappy with my choices and my situations, my attitude, my health, and myself. Nobody has to lecture me, I get it. This is all my responsibility and something I can control. That's why I am so mad at myself right now, because I CAN control this, but I don't. I have allowed myself to get apathetic and lazy, then get upset because my life isn't what I want it to be. I should be treating myself like I treat the partners I have had in my life, but instead, I spend my time treating others like I want to be treated, and rarely getting that in return. So, yes I am struggling. I have allowed everything that I have gone through in the last few years, not really to break me but damage the hell out of me enough to make me treat myself like I don't matter, to ruin my life. After a phone conversation with one of my closest friends this morning, I started thinking about all of this stuff... how there are really no excuses for bad nutrition, lack ...

I've been thinking a lot about those feelings I've had lately of needing to get away from it all, and feeling like a recluse half the time; wishing I had some secret spot to go where I could just be chilled out with my thoughts... Lately, just about everything has been getting on my nerves or draining me of all my physical and emotional energy. I'm seriously starting to wonder, am I officially " Burned Out "? So, I googled "Burned Out" and found numerous pages describing the symptoms of it, and comparisons between Stress and just being Burned Out... I couldn't tell for sure, so I took the blogthings quiz... It tells me: You Are 93% Burned Out You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy. Are You Burned Out? Anyway, what can you truly do when you are tra...

Another weekend has passed and I have been simply drained of energy. I don't know why, just unable to wake up and feel very alive today mostly. Hope the feeling passes soon. Sorry If I have missed making it around to your blog in the last couple days, i'll try to catch up soon and come by and say hello. Last night was a good one, I had a great time listening to Cappy's radio show , he played a few songs throughout his broadcast that I requested and had some really good ones... Then we went on to see the Homemade Jamz Blues Band play at the Ground Zero Blues Club , and they were really great to see in person. Those kids are so talented! Our drummer, Rob and his girlfriend Meg went with us and had a blast. Then today it was back to lazy and drained of energy as I overslept and then got zero accomplished! As usual, I have to hope for the best and a new start with a new week ahead. Probably be the same story all over again, but we have to have 'hope' right? Fine, i...