Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Eat My Shorts

There wasn't a particular reason that I named the post "Eat My Shorts", I just felt like saying it. So there... Aunt Jackie doesn't have to apologize for anything. Normally, Aunt Jackie doesn't refer to herself in the 3rd person, but somehow that slipped in there.

She isn't going to apologize for that either.

Well, the anniversary is over, it went well. We had our little anniversary dinner (thanks to a coupon for a complimentary dinner when you buy a full-priced dinner at Texas De Brazil). Even with a coupon it is a splurge, but not too bad. That's all I wanted for my anniversary anyways, to go out for dinner. Throughout Christmas and that, I have maintained there was nothing I really needed for a gift. I'm good with that. I just like to enjoy myself.

For my Bizarro friends, please not that I have posted there... It's Been A While I know. I might start updating more over there because it's time to let off some steam. I enjoy that. It's not well known because it's private and not for the faint of heart. If you are locked out, it's because you don't need to read it anyway :)

Gotta do a day or two of work and then we will ring in the new year I suppose. As I have told all of my friends, I wish for us all a better year to come. 2009 has been quite a challenge for so many. Just keep taking everything as it comes, one day at a time and we'll forge ahead.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Happy Anniversary Richie

Eight (8) years ago today, we hit up 201, tied the knot and afterward had our post-wedding eats at The Bar-B-Q Shop. Ain't love grand? In my opinion, it really doesn't matter how you did it, or where, or how much money you spent making the nuptials fancy, but rather how well it stands the test of time, and how much you enrich each others' lives.

Relationships are work... Love is the easy part, respect is a must. Two people, individuals, still need room to grow as their own person, but still grow together. But if it's worth it, and it's meant to be it will flourish and live on and on. Love is eternal.

Here's to many more "Mr. J"... You Rock in so many ways, and I love you.

Happy Anniversary!!!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

After The Fog, Destiny

For a few days, I have been gone and lost in thought... some about what the future holds from here on out, some about everything that needs to be done, and some about nothing because I simply needed to empty and relax my mind.

I began December with my own personal challenge to myself to complete the December NaBloPoMo, but I didn't make it. Each of you have your own opinions about doing certain things and forced blog posting, which is fine. Contrary to BBC's opinions, I wasn't doing the posting to impress anybody, I was just doing it because I wanted to see if I could. I didn't make it through, that was due to nobody but myself and my tired soul.

Well, I do hope that your holidays have been great.

The fog of my holidays is over, except for New Year's Eve, which is destined to get more uncomfortable for me than I like, because I don't like crowds of people and too much chaos at one time, but this is not just my trip, so there are other forces that I must endure (sometimes whether I like it or not). I don't feel like talking about it right now, but those of you who know me best can pretty much decipher what I mean.

My story or stories are still coming, once again not just to entertain you (but somewhat to entertain you because that's what I ENJOY doing), and also just for me because I enjoy writing. I'm tired of people telling me what to do and why to do something or why not to do it, although I appreciate your genuine concern. I prefer that you live your life, I live mine and do what I feel at any given moment. We all have different paths... don't forget that. I'm not you, and you are not me (nor would you like to be me I imagine).

That being said, I will be back soon with an idea that I think I have to write about, and it is going to be totally self-absorbed, yes about me and various things about my life. Read it or not.

Now I can't end this post without sharing the following video link. It's not embeddable, but you must do yourself the favor of clicking it. This is Disney meshed with Dali, two of my favorite things in the world.

Click Here For Your Destino!!! Beautiful.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Fell Off Again

Well, I just couldn't make the posts over the weekend to keep up with my December NaBloPoMo. Geez, this has been rough. I tried though. I don't think I should go back and make-up Friday and Saturday just to keep it clean. I failed, I will take the hit.

The weekend has been hum-drum and very cold, especially today. If it decides to snow, I think we're in business! But I doubt it will snow.

Since we are nearing the holiday week itself, the story will be a special holiday treat for you all. I am still working to have time to post the story. I will be putting it up this week for sure so check back and read it, hopefully it will entertain you. :)

Meanwhile, here is a consolation video since I am lazy.

It's Four Banned Commercials, so kids don't click. :)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Long Day Over

Haven't had time to finish my story idea... I know, Blasphemy, right?? Long day at work today, big meeting, then Band Practice. So I have not had time to post.

Speaking of blasphemy, gotta leave you with one funny photo.

Sorry, but this just made me lol, I can't help it. :)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sum of None

Arrgggs!! (Or in Programming, Args? I dunno lol). Work has been kicking my butt this week, and I haven't been able to spend much time to myself to think clearly.

Thanks you guys for the comments on what type of story to write about, It's helping out a lot please keep em coming.

I'm working on that cool post so when I write it you better be back, don't you wanna see what parts of your suggestions I use anyway?? So check back soon, hopefully tomorrow I will be writing the story.

But for today, I just want you to check out one of the coolest photographers I have seen in a while. The man still uses film, and nearly everything that he puts out here, or he states ALL of it is untouched by any Photoshop. It's merely his shooting skills, and lighting and effects he creates himself with the camera.

That's pretty cool. Check it!! His Name Is Jamie Harmon.

I've also been playing with this Karaoke site called SingSnap.com, I made some recordings but they are too crappy to post really. The Mic won't act right and the mixer is slightly off. Bah Humbug!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Mind Clutter

My mind stays so very loud and noisy most of the time, buzzing with too much information, too many feelings, and I often feel pulled in quite a number of varying directions. It's o.k., I know that it is natural in any course of growth throughout life. I feel change coming on, new directions, new endeavors. I'm not quite sure what that means yet. It's not a bad thing, however. Today's Daily OM "As We Ebb and Flow Through Life" was a good one! Take a read if you feel like it, and if you enjoy inspiration, or just need a little lift.

It's about time for another one of "AJ's Great Stories". How does everyone feel about that?? I'll try to think of a good one to chronicle. Better yet, let me get my readers involved.

Ask me to tell you a story about something in my life, anything topic, sad, funny, inspirational, whatever. Get to commenting!!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Slash and Rainn Wilson Pair Up

Slash on "Book Chat" with Rainn Wilson - This literally made me laugh so hard! My Man Slash, being such a good sport and funny guy alongside comedian/actor Rainn Wilson, of "The Office" and "The Rocker".

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Embarassingly Enough

I've stated before, my music tastes are best described as eclectic. However, I am not usually a fan of much soft rock, although some brings back memories whether I liked it or not. Mostly, I listen to harder stuff, punk, metal (real metal not any of that weak lipsnot stuff), and various other music that strikes my fancy.

For some reason, today I simply could not get this song out of my head. I know, I know, it's "Chicago" and I should be strung by my toenails and covered in honey next to a hornet's nest right? lol

But it just made gave me a "feel good", home-again feeling. Can't explain why. At any rate, enjoy... maybe? Or whatever.

Old Days - by Chicago

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Rained a lot today, the weather being so dreary made me not want to go anywhere. We still had to do some little Christmas party though. Of course, I had to drive. I hate driving when it's so nasty and the streets are so wet.

Being the designated driver sucks. Farty, belchy, philosophical and belligerent drunk folks drive me up the wall. Makes me want to wait for them to pass out and do this (or far worse). ->


Drunk arses who force me to be designated be afraid... be very afraid. Muuahahahahahahah!!!

(To see more passed out idiots' photos, click
the photo above or
go to www.passedoutphotos.com)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Reaching In, Reaching Out

As I was sitting here, struggling to think about what to write in the spirit of "Mitzvah" (This Month's NaBloPoMo blogging theme), I realized something. Rarely do I give myself enough credit or self-love for the things that I do for others on a daily basis without even thinking of it. Most of the time I am busy fighting attacks of self-loathing, which may just be natural to have to deal with in this "human experience".

Somehow, I had the idea in my head that I was going to have to go out of my way to conjure up acts of kindness, or dream up things to do, or gifts to give so that I could blog about them, as the theme suggests.

However, it hit me as an epiphany... I may have my ups and downs, my negative thoughts or my general hostilities that I constantly have to work on (at least I am working on it, not letting it win), but every day, without thought I am giving a kind or uplifting word, trying to inspire my friends and loved ones, or people that need a cheer. I am thinking of them, sending them positive energy or well wishes, offering a hand when I go above and beyond to make their day a little easier. These things that I think and do in my every day life, I have let slip by unnoticed by me--As if I wasn't doing anything good.

That's kind of cool though, I think it means my heart is at least trying to be in the right place without having to be coerced that much. It means that I have some natural ability to care, still embedded within me, for those that at least inspire it or draw it from me.

I guess the challenge that lies ahead of me then, is to try to do the same for those who are not nice people, the ones who make it difficult, which is still an extremely high number of human beings. Perhaps they are the ones who need the gift of my care the most.

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Gift Of Frost

The mornings have brought us frosted ground, and freezing air. Winter is dressed up and ready to show its beautiful face. Around these parts, it comes and goes because we have mild portions here and there where the temperatures are not that low, and we don't get much snow.

The sensation, the emotion in the air found me reading a bit of Robert Frost poetry, which I find quite relevant, and feel the urge to share with you.

Hope You Enjoy!

"A Patch of Old Snow"
by Robert Frost

There's a patch of old snow in a corner
That I should have guessed
Was a blow-away paper the rain
Had brought to rest.

It is speckled with grime as if
Small print overspread it,
The news of a day I've forgotten--
If I ever read it.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Here I Am

This is a short one... I don't have much to say today. It's been cold and damp and I'm burned out on this week. It's only half over too.

I'll quickly run down my good deed for the day, one of my blog buddies, "Chucky" is trying to take on more work because things are a bit slow, so I sent him some information on possible new job leads that might help him out. I certainly hope it does. Good Luck Chucky!

Anyway, the rest of the evening, I did the dishes and have been watching old TV shows on Hulu.com.

I caught an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", "One Day At A Time", and "WKRP In Cincinnati". Just felt like checking out some cool older stuff I guess.

Feeling a little claustrophobic in the house, and feeling crowded and tired. I guess it's bedtime. (yawn)

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Love In Abundance

Today I won't rant, I won't try to be philosophical, I won't advise, I'll just share.

There has been so much love in my life, and I have always tried never to take it for granted. Things come and go, just as people come and go in our lives. However, I believe that the love that they bring remains with us always, and it only grows. Love is eternal.

Even when we feel pain because we think that our loved ones are gone, they are alive and well, and only want us to understand that and to hang on to that love.

About a week ago, I was at home (Mom and Dad's), and something, or someone moved me to go digging through my old bedroom desk drawer. There I sat on the edge of the bed, organizing and looking through junk, when I ran across the card that Mom and Dad gave me on the day of my High School Graduation.

Then I opened the card and began to read what my Daddy wrote to me, there on my eve of adulthood:

"Thank you my Darling Daughter for all the joy you have given me. I want you to have a Good Life and enjoy every minute of it.

There will be ups and downs in it, but the ups usually outweigh the downs. God Bless and Keep You, Your Old Dad. I Love You. J.G.C."

A million birthday cards, holiday cards and notes I have read from them and stored away. I wondered why the same words breezed past me at the time, and somehow meant so much more years after. Now there I was, tears streaming down my face. I didn't know exactly why it struck me that way, the message wasn't sad at all. It was, however, just typical of my father. I felt him near, and I felt his message of hope, comfort, and above all, Love.

I know there are no mistakes, I know that it was intended for me to read right then at that very moment. He wanted me to read it.

I've said it before, I'll say it again, the biggest messages wait in the simple moments. We come to learn, the small things are not small at all.

We need only open our eyes.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Wanna Be Startin Something

Woke up about 1:00 a.m., I did, and wasn't feeling so great. My head, somewhat achy, and I have no energy... still don't feel much like doing anything at the moment.

Last night, we rode in the Downtown Memphis Christmas Parade. As my Dad might say, it was "colder than a well-digger's butt". We wrapped up so thick, I kind of felt like the little kid on "A Christmas Story" when his Mom bundled him up for school, but even then I wished I had on more clothing. The parade began way back on South Main.

Much to Richie's delight we were trapped between two music groups, one was Memphis Music Foundation I think, and the ones behind us were a "Stepping Group" who put Michael Jackson on repeat (Mr. J hates MJ). So for well over an hour before the parade actually started, he had to hear "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" while they practiced... and then of course as the parade went on.

As we rode our motorcycles in this parade procession, we both stated later that we couldn't help but feel like we were in a scene from that recent South Park Episode where the Bikers Terrorized the Town hahah!! (Click the link to watch it if you haven't seen the episode, it's called "The F Word")

Once it began moving, around 5, we slowly progressed until we reached Beale Street, then we all turned and it was over. Everyone let their bikes cool off for a little while at that point.

One of the guys had his son with him. They'd actually walked in front and held up the banner. We spied a Santa Claus sitting on a park bench next to Beale, the one near the statue of Elvis. The guy thought he would take his son over to say hello. To start, Santa looked like he might be 'toking it up', and he was on a Cell phone, fighting with his girlfriend Mrs. Claus. He reportedly did not want to be bothered, citing "F--- you, I'm on the phone!!!" He was just a Bad Santa... 'Damn, Is That YOU BILLY BOB?!?!' Wow... way to spread Christmas Joy you stupid !#@$!! He's lucky we didn't beat him down and give him an internal cellphone/gps system that ran on methane.

As we were preparing to leave, the rest of the guys had plans which would have taken us further away, so in light of the frigid temps, we elected to make our way back. If we thought we were cold on the way there, we had crystallized by the time we reached home.

We survived, however... and I had a really good time waving to the crowd and being downtown with the lights and the decorations. Here's a quick shot of me on my bike wrapped up like an Eskimo and looking more like a ninja I guess with my face gear on. ha-ha.

I'm gonna go do some laundry, dishes and chill a bit, so If you haven't read my holiday ranting post, then do. I worked pretty hard on it. Treat yourself to the Dim Lights Of Dixie.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Good Vibrations

The Distillers rock... This Song Makes Me Feel Good so I thought I would share it with you. Enjoy! It's called "Young Crazed Peeling".

It's Saturday, and I'm off to find some good and healing vibrations to spread around the planet.

<3 AJ

Friday, December 04, 2009

I Had A Dream

The double-bed that I have called home for several years now, I am starting to rethink. With a pillow and mattress hogging husband, a heart worm recovering dog and a cat who's a 'primo uomo' all piled up (the newest edition to our "pack" hasn't been allowed on the bed yet), I can scarcely turn over without waking up each time I flip, and balling up just to have a spot to snooze.

As a result, I never want to wake up in the mornings and I have the hardest time peeling myself out of bed. I've found myself yawning off and on throughout the day too. We'll see. I can't really afford to go and buy a new bed right now, but I know that it's really time.

During the portions where I do sleep, I have my occasional strange dream. Like last night for instance, my father visited me in the dream. He had his back turned, but I saw him and I said, "Daddy?!" and he turned around and we kind of communicated for a moment. Then I am so used to being broken from good dreams and/or losing connections and having things switch around quickly that I said, "Don't leave... stay!" He looked at me and said something neither profound or meaningful to me as I can't think for the life of me what significance it could have. He said, "I want you to go tear up those Cuban shoes."

Now, mind you, in the dream this had great significance because I thought about the pair of shoes that he meant, which were his but in real-life are more like a pair of shoes Richie owns but has never worn. They are not specifically "Cuban", but they are strange looking dress shoes. Anyway, I responded to Dad, "O.k., I will. I'll tear them up."

Just then, my Mom shows up in the scene, and went over to her and hugged her very tight. Then she and my father embraced one another, so tightly that it appeared for just a moment that they were joined together as if two sides of a whole. It was very loving.

Seeing them there, able to hug each other again, both standing together, made me feel very happy. At this point the dream switches to other sequences, nothing more of note really.

Now, on to the "MITZVAH". Today, Friday, I tried very hard to keep a positive attitude and treat everyone with kindness of course, in my work capacity I usually do. It's just my way, as I have always had good customer service skills. When I'm at work, I am usually so busy or have so many things going on in my head it's hard to consciously make efforts to do certain things. However, I was very pleasant and helpful to several clients over the phone today, and tried my best to make their day easier with my assistance.

As well, we had a "going away" luncheon for a coworker who is moving to Seattle, and we enjoyed a friendly lunch, and I gave him a hug goodbye, and wished him a safe journey and the best of luck. That's nice. Doing good makes one feel good too... although it is not always easy, because people make you double think it quite often. ;)

Lastly, I will take the opportunity now to silently send all of you who are reading this healing thoughts of love and peace. I hope that whatever you are needing right now at this moment, whether that be a message, an answer to a question you have been wanting to know, or other things such as making it through these holidays and being able to provide your family with what they need, or maybe good health for an ailing loved one... I hope that you receive, and recognize the gifts and/or answers when they come to you. It's not always easy, but if you take a few moments during a busy day, and become completely silent and look inward, you'll find that you had it within your grasp all along.

Today's gift from me then, peace, love and the knowledge that it is all within you. Stay strong. I will try to do the same.

Now, go and read my blog from yesterday about all my holiday bitchings if you have not already done so. :)

Un Beso Por Ti,
Aunt Jackie

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Dim Lights Of Dixie

"The Bubba Is A Very Special Breed,
nay, pride of the south"

Growing up in the deep south is not really much like "Gone With The Wind" or even "Driving Miss Daisy", or any of those cheesy movies where the actors wayyyy overdo their impressions of our accents. Don't get me wrong, the south it has its moments... does have its romantic side, I can't deny that. As children, we are blanketed by a beautiful starry sky, collect fireflies in mason jars, play in the warm, sweet summer rain, and in winter get occasional snow without having to shovel driveways all winter long.

To top it off, as southern women, we have our pick of a veritable multitude of "Bubbas" to choose from, glad for the chance to ring our southern bells if we so desire. Lucky, lucky us(!).

Sometimes, however I am rudely awakened from those sweet honeysuckle dreams by the dark sides of Dixie. Yes, there are many. Keep in mind while I discuss, that I understand some of the subsequent items may be universal. Surely similar pariahs exist everywhere.

Let's see, the impending holidays kick us off with number ten my list.

#10. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Range Rover - I have seen instances of this anywhere from SUVs with "Reindeer Horns", wreaths and lights on jeeps, cars, pick-ups.

One might see Santa Claus's head on the grill of a jacked-up 4 Wheel Drive truck, rebel flags-a-flying which state very clearly in big, bold patriotic lettering across its stripes, "REDNECK!!" Woahh, Relax Billy-Bob... no further illustration will be necessary.

#9. I Think We're Alone Now - I noticed these people one night when Rich and I went to the little Mexican restaurant around the corner. There was this bozo... and I understand that I am in a public place and all, but am I so wrong to assume that there should be a degree of respect towards the fellow restaurant patrons? Seriously, it's not exclusive, nor is there a private dining suite. I'm not asking much, just to turn it down a few decibels. The guy was yelling us his entire life story (with the thickest of southern accents). It sounded so annoying, and I am sorry I know I am southern but I still try to speak with some intelligence. He was going on about how he'd always loved Hispanic women "and their long black hair... and beautiful skin". Then some story about the drama with his neighbor. It simply would not cease.

"Just shut it out!" you say? Not that easy for me... In fact, with his droning on and on in thick drawl I was barely able to enjoy conversation with my husband. The point is, I always try to speak at a tolerable level with respect to those around me. So does Richie until he's had a couple of beers, then he is ready to go join the ranks of the loud and not-so-famous across the bar. Oh well.

Y'know... this goes for other places as well, like the workplace with all of the loud conference calls, high-decibel meetings and nightmarish bouts of laughter. I hate to be a party pooper but keep it down over there people!! This is a development area... Can't concentrate with you and your Scooby-doo and 'french chef' giggling. (sigh)

#8. Drag Queens & Kings - These are the road stars. If they can't plow you down to get to their morning, lunch and evening destinations their day is ruined. 80 MPH is not nearly fast enough for them... what are you, retarded?? They have to ride your ass to let you know that YOU aren't getting it right... Let them by and they'll show you how it's done (that or they'll force you off the road). I know it is not nice, but secretly when these racing menaces are busy trying to cut me off and jeopardize all of our lives on the interstate, I fantasize and imagine them flipping their automobile and being turned into breakfast toast.

Where the hell's my coffee?? Cheers!

#7. Peyton's Mom - Here is this beeeotch again. I have a strange feeling that she's slipped into my notes before. She's the perfectly-styled, cookie-cutter epitome of the "Soccer Mom Barbie" complete with her Starbucks travel mug, driving the biggest SUV she could muster (although she has no business behind said wheel), and having decorated the thing with every godawful decal known to man. The most prominent ones will be about how Peyton is an honor student, and how she is Peyton's Mom. They may include his "team #", or a couple of cheerleading pom-poms for Peyton's sister(s) who have the spirit too. More than likely she'll have a tribute to the family pets as well. One round at the red light behind these gasoline-burning road-hogs is the equivalent of being locked in a pink and blue glitter covered fuzzy room with the hottest 52 inch HDTV and being forced to watch marathons of "High School Musical" followed by the Jonas Brothers in concert.

#6. Mi Musica es su Musica - Speaking of nightmarish music... we have our share of people around here who pay very loud homage to their favorite artists. Keep in mind, that here in the south, so rich in talent there is an eclectic horde of genres. We have rap artists, country musicians, and swarms of good ol' boys blaring their swamp music. So I might be sitting behind Peyton's mom at one of those 30 minute red lights I hate so much trapped by "Project Pat" or "Al Kapone" flowing from one side while "Billy Ray Cyrus" or the extended version of "Free Bird" pistol-whips me from the other. If that wasn't enough to do it, I can rest assured that the Tejano or Banda music will catch up from behind me. ;)

Do these people feel that it is their public duty to drown away my sorrows with their own beats? Do I not have my own stereo? Or maybe they're just self-absorbed terrorists who make it their business to ensure that my stop-light stay is as booming with bass and out of tune as possible... Oh my achy breaky audio!

#5. Oh Holy Lights - Another holiday favorite... these people can barely manage to get the turkey grease off their fingers before stringing up scads of blinding holiday mish-mash all over their humble abodes. (I'm sure that they're all energy-saving lights and such). They have Santa and his reindeer on the roof, snowmen in the yard (a yard that might see a half an inch of snowfall the entire season). Lights up and down the driveway, down to the mailboxes and then some.

Don't get me wrong, I think the decorations are beautiful (kinda like gingerbread houses) and it's a lot of fun to ride around and view everyone's magnificent display. It's just that I wish I didn't have to look at it for two solid months from Thanksgiving until near Valentine's day. Just trim down the time-frame on those head dancing sugar plums!

#4. Angels We Have Heard On High - We can't mention a holiday season without discussing these little sweethearts. The nasty-wasty, evil little unruly spawn of the Bubbas, Drag Kings and Queens and Music Blasters listed above. Also, might be the youngest of Peyton's Mom's growing little 'soccer team'.

While I was raised with good manners, ample etiquette and proper discipline, the little creatures that these people seem to be dragging to the stores and the restaurants haven't seen one bit. Now, I'm not saying I'm a hard-core old fashioned disciplinarian myself, but I still see fit in controlling your child and having them act like a human being when out in public.

Most parents, however find the first thing that they think entertains little Landon or Chasity and just toss it their way. They find later, much to their dismay that the kid's attention span is not quite as long as the red light at which they were mere moments ago torturing me, and have to find something else to entertain their offspring. What do they do then? Take them to the nearest bar and grille, the exact one that I happen to be dining at that very night. Then the waitress, after being asked specifically to seat me in the least noisy section of the cafe, plops little "Mariah" right down in the booth behind me so I can be privy to her obviously healthy lungs and extreme octaves.

Yeah, this child is gonna be Kanye's favorite singer of the year in the very near future, I can just sense it.

#3. Leatherface - Ahhh is that Miss November I spy coming out of the Video Store/Tanning Bed?? Ohh no, my mistake... it's Leatherface. When I say this, yes I am referring to a southern girl or woman, who is obsessed with keeping a sinewy summer tan all-year-round. The age range varies, from high school prom queen to sexy senior citizens (or a high school prom queen who merely looks like a senior citizen). These ladies have made tanning an art form. Even with all the newest technology, tanning lotions, spray salons and deadly cancer abound, they continue to cultivate their skin into a finely tanned hide suitable for Ed Gein's next living room suit.

This one just graduated 6th grade!

Just 15 more minutes and she's
gonna be ready for some cranberries and stuffing.

Um... like, OMG Srsly!?! WTF

What gives?? Do they actually think they look good that burned up? A nice, even light to medium tan looks much nicer than appearing as if you're trying to surpass the race barrier. It's also terrible for aging. Most of these people are also chain smokers, and avid drinkers as well. So don't come crying to me a couple of years down the road when "tan and blond" isn't quite cutting it for you anymore. "Geezuz! I must've taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque!"

#2. Feliz Navidon't - This one is rather self-explanatory, basically it follows the same rules as the house decorations mentioned above, and it comes with one desperate plea, "Please for the love of Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus in the manger remove the following songs from your Christmas Rotation: "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", "Do They Know It's Christmas (Band Aid)", "Wonderful Christmastime by McCartney", and of course "Feliz Navidad". Although there are more, these are on the top of my list. I may have to dedicate an entire post to bad Christmas songs. Anyone else care to share a bit of merriment that chaps their already overly-tanned hide?

#1. Bless Me Father For I Have Senate - Of course, not to be outdone, our State's government takes home first prize for their delectable 'gang-rape cake' smothered in sweet and sugary frosting (just a cover-up i'm sure for the real delights).

Yeah, our big strong heroes, the ones who are supposed to serve and stand behind their citizens voted two big "Nay's" on The Franken Amdt. No. 2588, you know the one (supposed to protect the rape victims?) Yeah, an amendment to the Defense Appropriations bill that would punish contractors if they "restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court."

Holy mother of goat and all her crazy uncles! I should've known that a state that could allow its children to be solely awarded to their crackhead, husband's cousin-marrying, prostitute low-life mothers instead while the obviously responsible fathers who work legitimate jobs and try desperately to provide and protect the family can barely get awarded visitation, would think somehow that Gang Rape should be the victor in a battle of human rights.

Well, long live Bubba... I'm sure he will as long as he and his rape-loving senator father don't empty out all their ammo killing local wildlife and beloved family pets.

This, I gift to you today, my act of kindness to try and make you laugh while also offering my hand at sarcasm for the state of the world and my immediate surroundings. If you enjoyed this even in the least, then my job today is done my friends.

If not, take heart... the weekend is nigh.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

The Forever Dance

Quick note that I am still working on the "big cool post", so I am pumping this one up to be a doosie, I guess you better come back and read it and I better deliver on the wit and charm, eh?? So be it. I hope to get it done for tomorrow's post.

Meanwhile, I'll keep today's post short... It's in the spirit of December's NaBloPoMo, and its theme "MITZVA", which I explained a little bit about yesterday. Some of you may be asking "What is Mitzva?" Now, I am not into "organized" religion, and I am certainly not Jewish, but check it out Mitzva, although is part of Judaism, and derived from their 613 Commandments (wow, I thought Christianity was rigid with its 10! he-he j/k), it has also come to express an act of human kindness. The act of human kindness is really what this month's theme is all about, which I think is great no matter the season. People should strive to act with kindness way more often, because I think that they would soon realize that it really does make one feel nice to do "good", and that eventually, you get rewarded for your kindness. Just have to be patient I guess... sometimes extremely patient. ;) Anyways, there you go... a little more detail on Mitzvah.

Although I am supposed to be giving mostly to others, just so happened that I spent quite a lot of time to myself today, (which didn't hurt my feelings much at all--yep, still working on my anti-social tendencies but it's easy to get comfy!) so I ended up indulging, by gifting myself emotionally.

What I mean by that is, without guilt, I allowed myself the gift of getting all misty or being moved by a video. Most of you are going to find the following a little weak or "gay" if you will (that's not a slur towards sexual orientation). But occasionally, I am moved by silly romantic fancy. I can't help it... I love sexy slow-jams, and hot passionate kisses and silly love notes and romantic notions. I keep them tucked under my wicked mean exterior most of the time, but today they slipped out. Deal with it!

This is not a new video, in fact I am usually the Nerd who is behind the times on seeing the latest rage that's running around the internet, so I am pretty sure you have already seen it before. It's a Wedding entrance where the whole wedding party danced their way down the Aisle to a song entitled, "Forever" and has been so popular that they even referenced the video (If I'm not mistaken) on an episode of "The Office (US)" at Jim and Pam's wedding in Vegas. I thought it was cute, but I'm sorry, it's just so sweet and it moved me... It's humorous, it's fun, it's romantic and a great way for a couple to switch up the usual boring ol' hum drum ceremonies we see.

Anyways, Give It A Peek.

Love is a gift, one we should give every day, and in giving we receive ourselves. It's hard enough to keep a life together in this day and age, and I think humor, love and music are a must. These guys had the right idea. Of course it would be cooler with a Metal song or a Punk song, but hey at least they broke the mold a bit.

So today's gift was to myself... a "Show of Emotion" over a really cute video. Cheers!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

If We Make It Through December

Well I am very disgusted that I started a cool blog post yesterday and still have not been able to finish it. This has been a hectic week at work after the holiday, so I have had limited time to jump in here and collect any of my thoughts. Don't despair, however, I am working on said post and will still deliver. I wanted it to be just right, as I have some thoughts to throw out there, and of the sarcastic and humorous nature (hopefully).

Ahhh December. It seems like we just parted yesterday and you are already here again. This year has just blasted by has it not? I can't believe it. January 14th will mark 1 year since my Father's death and it just doesn't seem like a year could have passed already. I definitely hope that 2010 will be a better year for us all.

In the spirit of the season, I have decided to try and tackle the NaBloPoMo challenge again. Actually, November was officially "National Blog Posting Month" to which NaBloPoMo was named for, and sadly I did not get a chance to participate on the original month... oh well. So, to take up the slack for all the other bloggers who aren't able to post daily, or have basically thrown in the towel, I'm going to give it my December best and really try. The theme for December is "MITZVAH".

The challenge would be to give something to someone daily, whether that be a gift, a compliment, a helpful or kind word, whatever... and then blog about it. They don't really want me to go out and "give someone the finger" though, I don't think that counts, so I am gonna have to try and think positively and do some December good.

Root for me o.k.? Because being a positive and sweet person doesn't come THAT naturally to me and I might have a hard time. ha-ha

For today, I can just say that I gave my all to my employers and that was the gift of dedication and service to the clients we serve in an IT capacity on a daily basis. That should always be well thought of, although as employees we don't always get recognition for every single time we go above and beyond. That's life.

Welcome to the season. Here's hoping that December brings joy and peace to you and yours. Will be back soon with my big cool post.


Aunt Jackie