Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Giving Til' It Hurts

I'm just full of laughs this week, but I live in Memphis and there is just so much to laugh about sometimes... as you've probably heard must be "A Memphis Thang".

As I have talked about before, I was raised in church. Good ol' Southern Baptist churches, where the preachers sweat, we had 'all-day-sangin-and-dinners-on-the-ground', the hairdo's were high, the choir could use some vocal lessons, but 'it's o.k., they're making a joyful noise unto the Lord' (as my Mother always told me). Sometimes, though, I thought God might like to tell them to sit down and leave it to someone who could carry a tune... but that's just me. He's all-forgiving, right? So he has to sit and take the punishment from his creations (like a good parent should). That's alright!

Southern religion is a funny thing (maybe it's alot of religions). You dress up on Sunday, receive the spirit and praise the Lord, you're asked to "give", give as much as you can... "Give until It Hurts". Then the next week, you're out and about to see none other than your very own preacher driving in his brand new Cadallac, or scandal strikes when the news hits that he and his current girlfriend (who may be none other than the church's very own treasurer, or the Deacon's wife) are caught together in a love fest.

"I was merely witnessing to her about Jesus... maybe? No?? Ok, well she was going through some trials and tribulation and she needed a holy ear to bend... Not buying it?? Ummmm"

Yeah-Ok, all is forgiven as we forgive others who trespass against us... right? You preach those commandments those that cometh every week and who read their Bible daily, and pray for those in need and the sick, and the wretched, and then you go right out there and give quite a few of those commandments a severe beating yourself!

We're all sinners, I'm not denying that one bit... but I guess we expect something higher from those of you who are up there in that almighty pulpit trying to tell the rest of us how we should live our lives. But I'm not here to tell you how to live yours either, so sin away!

So besides the brand new Cadillac's and Lincolns and Luxurious Lexus rides that our donations to the collection plate are going, what else are you using those funds for?? Wait, don't answer that.

A ride through Memphis will let you know that your hard earned cash is being put to good solid use... This luxurious monument to Christ, a copy of the Statue of Liberty holding up the holy cross. Yes, believe it because I would not lie to you. I took the photo myself. Why waste the money helping the needy, or homeless, or wayward children when you can put up this fine tribute... this beacon of light to show sinners the way. Is it a waste? What do you think? Is the congregation happy about the end result of their funding? Or did it truly hurt?

At least it didn't go towards a trip to the Bahamas for the preacher and his new girlfriend. ;)

3 comments:

Blublood said...

This is too funny because I was brought up as a southern baptist as well. Well, before that it was Buddhism and before that it was well, never mind. I can relate though because the pastor at the first baptist church where I attended those devout Sangin'-Sundays was actually seen by one of the members of the congregation one weekend drinking a beer while he was fishing. he was actually fired. Do I care? Or, can I blame them for firing him? Or, do I believe that they should have forgave him and then had an intervention of sorts? I dunno...

I think therefore I sin...

BTW, That picture is AWESOME!!!! I want to go on a road trip now to see the closer and much more significant Statue of liberty...

later Jackie...

RockDog said...

Organized religion isn't my thing really...a few bad apples consistantly ruin for the rest. I prefer to do my thing in private.

Nana said...

Jackie you did not get the picture of the guard that has to sit there all day protecting that hideous thang