Saturday, March 03, 2007

All Apologies

I'm feeling like a caged animal today, feeling like I need to escape from all of the ties that bind, and all of the restrictions of life. I want to move freely but I can't... The house is filthy, I'm trying to get that cleaned up some and can't seem to find a place to begin. We're going to see those kids play tonight at the Ground Zero blues club as I talked about last week. Rob and Meg are supposed to be meeting us at my house around 6:30 and I'm just feeling like I can't get a move on.

I can't get Richie to go running, or help clean the house or anything. He doesn't want to move a muscle, and I'm trying to pop us out of this 'lazy hell spell' that he's helped us fall back into with gaming... All he wants to do is play World of Warcraft, and I just want to get out and get moving and get back on the right track... I wanna get back in a heavy lifting/strength training routine and get back to our daily walking/running and just feel great again. I'm sick of the winter for maybe just those reasons--hoping that spring will bring back Richie's energy and restlessness so that we can get a move on.

Feeling like a stagnant, trapped beast with nowhere to run. Back before I ever decided to go and get married (like I always meant not to), I was never in one place for long enough to stagnate like this... Don't get me wrong, I love Richie and Love being married to him, but why do things have to change and why does it seem like life gets so mundane and boring sometimes??? Maybe i'm just having a severe case of Cabin Fever! What am I gonna do??? I feel like running out the front door and just running across the U.S.A. like Forest Gump (*shakes fist*) I could just freakin SCREAM!!! HELLLP!!!!

How's that for a Satyrday rant... that's right I said Satyrday--what'cha gonna do about it???

In songform, here's how I feel today:

What else should I be
All apologies
What else should I say
Everyone is gay
What else could I write
I don't have the right
What else should I be
All apologies

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
I'm married, buried

I really wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
I'll take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezerburn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
I'm married, buried
Married, buried
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

All in all is all we are...


cappy said...

hope you have a cool night out. tune into my show for a warm up before you leave!
what a jeffing good song. and what a performance!
i honestly can't imagine what he would be like if he had lived! 40 last week eh? like a young niel young maybe?


RagingAuntiJax said...

Yay!! Cappy!! I missed you... I have been trying to get a tune into the show, if it's still around 3 my time, i'll tune in today!!! Swears!

Camie Vog said...

*scratching my head* How is it that I haven't made it over to your blog before today? Have always enjoyed reading your comments on other peoples blogs, finally took a trip over here.

Nice set up you have, I really like your blog header. Will be back to read more when I have a bit more time.

Blublood said...

Ya' know feeling like this is a common weakness for many of us on a regular basis and you of all people can mash through it because of that deep seeded tenacity you have and that i personally love...

It will pass....

But don't apologize...


P.S. Had fun last night....

RockDog said...

Cabin Fever is taking a toll on a lot of us! included!

But that's no reason to be quoting nirvana now! That's someting you should be apologizing for! ;)

Rock ON!

Tisha! said...

arrrrrrrrrghhh terrible feeling sweetie! scream all you want it really does help! mouaaaaah

awaiting said...

My house was a wreck today. I went on strike and then caved about 7 tonight.

Heck, I can only take so much.

Hope you were able to wind down and enjoy yourself a bit today.

I so need a vacation...wanna skip town and head to Hawaii?


Nowt wrong wi bein lazy. I was born to be rich n lazy. Only got lazy taped yet though...

Aunt Jackie said...

Camie: Not sure. I've seen you around, but glad you're here no matter! Thanks...

Blue: Yes, last night was a blast! Thank you for the uplift, as usual :)

Rock: Guess you're right--about the Cabin FEVER that is! The Nirvana comment I'll ignore, for now ;)

Tisha: Yes, screaming can be a good release. I hate feeling like that!

Awaiting: I enjoyed getting to the the Homemade Jamz Blues band, those kids are talented! It was uplifting, still hold that spot to Hawaii open, in case I feel like bolting!

Four Dinners: Guess I always feel guilty for the laziness as a woman, everyone expects us to move mountains all the time! Ta for making me smile though!