Elvis Is Dead. I Don't Feel So Good Myself

You guys really think you're something don't you? I mean you really have an ego, and it shows. Men have it made! You seem to handle aging much better than us... you know, 'the girls'. We don't really get this. Just about the only reason I can think of is that nobody makes you feel worthless if you aren't still '20something' anymore, or if you get gray hair (you get called suave and "distinguished"). Depending on your circumstances, people even look over your ample beer gut or your worst habits. Then there is the sexuality and fertility issue, you guys are made to feel like aging gives you more charming or virile qualities. You can also continue to father children as long as you're reasonably functional. We have an 'expiration date'. Although it is completely unfair, it's not an argument that's really worth tackling because I'm sure most of you would say... "Hey, it's just the way it is." Right? So be it.

Anyway, on the way in this morning I'm listening to Howard Stern. He had Jon Bon Jovi (who still looks pretty good for his age) on, and he was talking about the way the music industry was pretty much ruined these days, and talking about the quality of music out there. Still he continues to write, and put forth his creativity for us all. I think that no matter how old a person gets, an artist/musician/creator of anything will always continue to try and give their talents to the world. That type of thing doesn't have an expiration date... I mean, it may not be as well-received from generation to generation, but still you can keep on keeping on as long as you're able to think straight... Hearing him talk, and listening to a couple of his newer songs just kind of made me sad though, as his more 'popular' albums were a big part of the past for me... for many different reasons.

Thinking about all of this, and along with dreading my upcoming 'birthday', I began to think about how strange it is that I am just now getting into this music thing. Whereas most people pop out and try to make it when they're teenagers or at least 20ish, I have only recently been fortunate enough to find people with similar interests and talent to try to work with. Everything happens for a reason I guess, I always try to believe that. Still, you have to wonder sometimes why things turn out the way they do, and sometimes why things turn out WHEN they do... Gotta trust and move on, and try to squeeze every drop of enjoyment out of this short-lived ride that we can though, you know?

So what? I'm getting a late start, and I'm going to be doing a "Gig" on my birthday. That's not a bad present... Opening up for a guy who's pretty well known around these parts anyway. Getting radio play on a local station, it's all pretty cool. It cannot go without a comedic slant... of course!

This is the part where I say that it leads me to wonder... Following in the footsteps of so many legendary "Greats" by performing on stage, how on Earth am I going to measure up?? Take Elvis for example... He was a superb entertainer... and in his early days, he was quite well-groomed, and had all the ladies' attention, which didn't seem to change much even when he became 'fat Elvis'. That proves my earlier point. (You don't see Rosanne Barr or Carnie Wilson having any "groupies"). So there is pressure to live up to a certain "look". Especially for the lead singer, and especially if the lead singer is female.

"Grooming is of the utmost importance to an entertainer."

Secondly, what about stage antics?? I am still in that 'nervous' stage, and not quite knowing my place up there. I'm behind my keyboard, and I'm warming up to trying to entertain the audience although I haven't quite made it to the "Steven Tyler" level yet. I'm afraid if I tried anything saucy, I might break something or even worse, embarrass myself greatly... would it be worth it?

All of our 'lost musical heroes', such as Jimi, Kurt, Big E and others might be behind the scenes rooting for me with all of their might and if I can't quite live up to all their lofty expectations, it's entirely possible that they all get together somewhere out there in the great wide cosmos, and have a horrendous laugh at my expense... This simply cannot happen. I've got to get it together, drop the nervous act, pretend that 'The Force Is With Me', go out there and give it all I've got... and then some!

What I need, though is some type of big finish. I'm racking my brain! I mean what would 'The King' Do?? Knowing him, he would send the audience spinning with some highly-complicated, fine-tuned karate maneuvers, designed full-well to show off the shine of his sequined jumpsuit, and then come out with a big, big finish, drop it like it's hot and then the announcer would do that "Elvis Has Left The Building" vocal and the stadium would go berserker! That's it! It's what I have to do, right?

Unfortunately, I feel less like the shiny sequined star-powered Elvis, and much more like his fat, evil, and significantly less-appealing doppleganger shown below... Wish me luck, I think I'm gonna need it!

"Elvis has eaten the Building!" And, I'm also going to make note
that the tragic 'toe' is probably a stage no-no (at least for him!).