Tuesday, June 05, 2007

All In The Cards

Interesting quote for the day:
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." -
Kurt Vonnegut

I got my drivers license at 15. That's not totally unheard of, I know but it is still rare. Plus, I've been driving something or another since I could walk so I've been driving for... a long time. Around here, drivers licenses or State IDs (for those of you who can't drive but still must prove who you are), are used for multiple purposes. You must present these to the law upon being pulled over, or going through the ever-popular 'Road Block'. Or simply 'getting carded'.

The first time I used mine was when we caught sneaking into the boy's dorm at the local community college. My friend, Kathy was dead set on going over to see some guy she claimed to be friends with. As usual, I was dragged along as an accomplice. So we drive over to 'Quitman Dormitory' I think it was, parked and proceeded straight through the front entrance. No signs of trouble, so we went past the desk, and climbed the stairs to the 2nd floor. Yes, that's right, we made it straight into the eye of the hurricane! Many clothed as well as half-naked guys were walking the halls, looking at us like we were crazy, when all of a sudden we hear the emergency exit open up and a security guard shouting, "Hey! You!!" We took off like a bolt of lightening, flying down the stairs, only to be headed off at the pass by this over-zealous 'career man', and his flashlight (he apparantly took his job way too seriously). He escorted us to Kathy's car, asked to see our IDs... so for the first time, I pulled out my drivers license and I 'got carded'.

He made sure to scare us by threatening that we could be charged with Trespassing, and that he better not see us in this dorm again... Whatever dude!

The second time I used my drivers license was to show proof at the radio station to pick up my prizes! I was still 15 or 16 years of age, and at the time my sister Vickie was in a huge streak of luck 'speed dialing' all the local radio stations, and would always be the winner whenever they had contests. I'm serious, nearly every Memphis radio station knew her by name. So I had been up to visit and they had a contest, she dialed in for me, and surprise-I won! So she drove me downtown (which was always a big deal) to the radio station to pick up my winnings... ah those salad days!

Then I remember the weekend my friends Shiree and Kim and I spent in Atlanta GA. I'd turned 21 just the week before, and was finally old enough to drink but didn't really care that much. However, this particular weekend I had planned on drinking. Kim was driving, so I could just sit back and be careless. Shiree and I had been to the liquor store before Kim got off work, and I bought my fifth of Bacardi 151, and a big Dr. Pepper. I mixed the two, evidently rather strong and we were on our way. I was passed out before we even hit Alabama. I remember them waking me up to stop off at a Subway restaurant bathroom somewhere, where I could barely stand up, then dragging me back to the car and the next thing I knew, we were in Atlanta. It was that weekend that I used my card to get into the clubs we visited in Atlanta, and remember the bouncer eyeballing it ever-so-suspiciously then smiling at me and saying... "Here you go hon, JUST BARELY!!!"

Unfortunately, it made no difference since I had overdone it on the way down. The mere thought of alcohol made me green and putrid, so I spent the rest of the weekend drinking ice-water and pinching guys soberly on the butt. :)

When my drivers license was new, getting carded was a big deal... more so because you didn't 'want' to get carded. Nowadays, it is a big deal if I don't get carded.

Most recently I used my "ID" at one of the more annoying "road blocks" (twice in fact), and then at the World Market, which is the only place Mr. J has found where they sell Hoegaarden beer.

I had decided to be sweet, so I ventured out to pick him up a six pack, and was all-too-happy when the girl asked for my drivers license. Then she eyed it quickly and said, "Ok yeah I was pretty sure you were." In which case I replied with a painful smile, "Oh... now that wasn't nice. You could've just left it at 'Can I see your ID?'"

She tried to make a come-back with "Well, I didn't think you were any older than that... hey you're not THAT much older than ME." But the damage was done. That brings me to the question I spoke of yesterday.

What actually makes us look or seem older? Yes, I know-the obvious answer you might think of is... "Wrinkles, fine lines, dark circles or creases... grey hair?!"

But what if you don't have those things?? I stay out of the sun, take good care of my skin and don't have either of those yet... so I am continuously told. However, people are more and more trying to guess me older. So what are they judging by?? The look on my face that says I've been through Hell and came out the other side ice cold? Or maybe, just being too busy to relax these days and stress has gotten the better of me? Or is it maybe the fact that I'm no longer acting like a Chihuahua on speed, talking all 'valley-girl' and giggling my head off like a dingbat??

Like seriously-Oh-MyGod... Real life tends to take you down a couple of notches... so all you little Chihuahuas remember that ok? Because, your time is surely coming.

So can someone tell me honestly just what it is that shows our age, when it isn't yet skin-deep, but you assume someone is not truly in need of being carded?? Inquiring old minds want to know.


RockDog said...

Maybe it's your smell...

Old people smell weird...like ointment and poop.

Are you wearing perfume???

JINKS said...

Gosh I don't know Jackie,

When they ask for my DL, I'm just so damn glad I can find it without getting all nervous and peeing my Depends that.....uh, I'm having a senior moment....
what was it you wanted to know?

her indoors said...

nope dont know the answer to that one either! oh Elvis now that made my day seeing that god danm sexy man thank you

captain corky said...

I can't stand when fuckers ask me for my ID. It's such a pain in the ass and so stupid!