Happy Saturday! I bet you're noticing the 'face lift' right about now... perhaps feeling the chill from just looking at it?? Hope that won't keep you away (especially those of you who enjoy the summer sun). I was just sitting here in the river city, the city by the bluff that never receives enough winter, and thinking about how I doubt I'll see much if any snow this year. We got like one measley snow last year that didn't even last throughout the day. It's not fair at all, and I really am fed up with it. Therefore, I decided that if I could not see the kind of scene I wanted to around my neck of the woods, then I would surely at least be able to see it on my blog. So there you have it, it's officially "Winter" here in The Forrest.
Hope it's legible. I think it's actually more legible, and it's nice and fresh, and not as dark but still moving enough with the trees. I shouldn't feel trapped with the 'tree' motif, but for some reason I do. Since I named my blog after a forest (but didn't spell it exactly the same, which was on purpose if you were ever wondering), I always feel like I have to have some trees in the background there somewhere, or indications thereof. I shouldn't have to, though, because the blog 'theme' is actually about the "Forrest" of my mind. If you're browsing through my thoughts, then you may as well be taking the brisk walk through the woods, expansive and ever changing, and sometimes thick and cluttered, like a deep forest... So there you go. All you never wanted to know about Aunt Jackie's 'Forrest' but were (perhaps) afraid to ask.
Unbelievably, I'm actually sitting in my deliciou--hang on just a second, doorbell...
OMG! I can't believe it, just as I was about to say I was sitting here in the comfort of my delicious green recliner, laptop in hand and relaxing in total quiet (because thankfully, Mr. J has not woken up yet and I was actually basking in the peaceful morning to myself), the doorbell rang. Such an unexpected visitor on this gray Saturday morning... and I was so enjoying the peace and quiet. They say the Lord works in mysterious ways, and sometimes comes to you in your most quiet moments, when you're alone with your thoughts. Well that just proves it right there! I was totally just interrupted by one of those church people who goes around and tries to drag you to their church? And I mean this dude isn't even from my neighborhood, he's from somewhere closer to where my Mom lives. WTF? He drove all the way up here to stalk around the neighborhoods, picking on houses. How does he know he's not knocking on doors of psychos?? (I know, when you're 'moved by God' to do visitation on people, that's the chance you take because when it's your time to go, at least you went doing the Lord's work.) :-\
So he's assuming he's walked upon the house of a lost soul, so he begins his questioning about 'have I been saved' etc, etc. I am sorry, but I just wasn't in the mood for the lengthy 'save my soul' event this morning. I dug down into my bag of experiences, to a time when I was a little church girl growing up (saved at 8, and always made to go to these Southern Baptist churches, with little blue haired old ladies who couldn't make a joyful noise to the Lord even by promising him they wouldn't sing once they got to Heaven). I played along (as they say). I gave him my 'saved at 8 years old at our Church revival' speech, about how I was moved by 'a force unbeknown to me', and have been a member there at the church where Mom still attends to this day... Then he got all teary eyed talking about one of his grandchildren, and about one of them in the womb sucking its thumb and all that... and I feigned a couple of coughs, as if I might be 'getting over a cold', which I still sort of have been because my cough has been lingering--a little wheezy barely productive cough, which annoys mainly at night and early in the morning.
He excused himself shortly thereafter and I told him to have a blessed morning.
It's not that I hate church people, I really try (sometimes in vein) not to hate people at all... but you must understand. These people are all human beings, right? Human beings are totally fallible, and we all "sin". Nobody's any better than the next person, and just because I don't believe the same as you doesn't mean that I'm going to Hell and you're going to Heaven... besides, who are you to judge?? If you are a 'Christian' you should be following God in that he's the only true judge anyways. It's not your place... and you're sinning yourself if you're thinking you're the only one who is doing right in this world... As I sat there, bearing this Man of God's witnessing, I could only wonder if he was one of those "Christians" who cheats on his wife, or who's embezzled from the Church treasury (like several I know have done), or that he may even be a child molester (skum of the earth). I don't know. He (just like I) can say anything he wants to the next person, and make them believe it right? He might have left my house and gone by the liquor store for a fifth of Jim Beam, and then gone home to beat his wife, or torture his dog. [Doesn't matter how you act, or pretend to be, it's what's in peoples' hearts... The guy might have very well been devout, and pure of heart, I don't know.]
I don't mean to be skeptical, but this world has not given me much of a choice... Too much hypocrisy and heinous horror goes on daily to see much good in it (except for probably trees, animals, nature--always amazing nature!! Go ahead, say something about me being a hokey-tree hugger, and animal activist or something, I don't care) ... But fear not, my soul is not completely lost. I do feel that we are in existence for some reason, and that there is a higher being (be it even our higher selves maybe). We are souls, in this doomed existence for however long-who knows--And we're here to learn. Here to learn many lessons, and when we have finally done what it is we were meant to do in this world, and our lesson is complete, we will move on to the next dimension. I don't think that we die, no. Our bodies die, and cannot go on any longer. But we get to exist in a whole new form, and we get to experience new things... I believe it is painless once we're over the physical pain (if any) that our 'death' involves... And I think that these other souls that have moved on before us, still surround us in some form or another, and that those you think you've lost, are not lost... you just haven't learned (or are too closed minded yet) to be able to see them or feel them for what they are... Take heart, and feel everything around you because just one strange "feeling" or sensation, or sighting... might just be someone important helping you out, giving you an inspiration to keep on moving.
Take for instance, the breathtaking Butterfly. My mother loves them, and rightfully so... after all the butterfly is a symbol for transformation, and signifies "Hope".
It begins its journey as a mere caterpillar, turns into a chrysalis, and must undergo great struggle before emerging as the beautifully delicate winged creature as we know it. ("Without Change, there would be no butterflies."). Total transformation to the next level...
Hokey? Like I said, think what you want, and go ahead and judge if you must (humans always do). But one thing I can do is live and let live... I don't force you to feel the way I do, you will find that out on your own one day... you have your own "reality" that you've created, and your own lessons to learn as I have mine. Just open up your eyes once in a while (go ahead, a little wider), and you might actually be able to see the brush strokes on the vivid masterpiece that is today.
Peace, Love, Hope and (dare I say), maybe even one of these days, Understanding...
Your Tree-Huggin AJ