You can't make it to "I Do", however without kissing your share of frogs... I guess I kissed a few in my time. I was thinking about that recently, while thinking about how unbelievable it is that I actually got married and have been now for these six years.
I've told some of my stories to you in the past, if you have been around or read them, you know that I wanted my first kiss, first 'everything' to be with Bob (from my Motorcycle Madness story). I eventually did get to kiss Bob, but that happened some time later. I wanted to be kissing like all of the other girls in my class, when we received our high school class rings as we had this little 'tradition' of turning our class rings once around our fingers when we were kissed. I felt like an outcast, and I just knew it was never going to happen for me. We got our rings sometime in our tenth grade year.
So my first kiss? It finally happened at 17, with Larry R... I met Larry when one of my best friends, "Kay Kay" (to protect her anonymity) was chasing Ricky. Ricky and Larry were older boys, "bad boys" who drove fast cars and specialized in 'badassedness'. When the weekend rolled around and our parents let us out of the house, we would ride around town and always "pop in unexpectedly" at their apartment over near the local community college.
This particular night, the night I first saw him, we were by for our usual
He told us to come in and wait for Ricky if we wanted to, and we stepped in and sat on their couch. He excused himself to take a shower, and a few minutes later he came flying out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, turns on the radio and begins dancing... While I waited for the towel to fall off, K and I looked at each other in astonishment. What is with this guy?? That's what we were thinking.
Now, not only did she have a 'crush' to stalk, so did I... we continued our
They never said anything bad to us, Ricky usually treated K alright about the visits, and she even got to make out with him once... I think it might have been on the same night that I kissed Larry actually.
It was one of those nights, we arrived at their house, and Ricky was home by himself. Needless to say I was highly disappointed because I had it bad for Larry, and wanted to see him really bad. So I sat on the couch while K was in the back making out with Ricky. I listened to music, and waited... wondering if he was ever going to get there. It seemed like hours, and I was bored out of my skull... finally, the doorknob turned and I got very nervous. "OMG he's back!" I tried to straighten myself up, and get in my 'Vixen Mode' (as much of a Vixen mode as I may have had at 17, and a virgin).
He knew Ricky and K were in the back, so he began to verbally harass Ricky and make jokes, you know, like guys do... Ricky and K came back into the living room, and we all sat around and chatted for a while. Larry forced us to watch "Chaka Zulu" which was a t.v. show I remember being on at the time... I feigned slight interest, all-the-while plotting my "move". I flirted, and made little comments about how I was quite the Masseuse and he took the bait. He said he was going to bed, and then he tempted me into his room, stating he was waiting for this 'massage' I had promised.
So nervously, I went into his room... He had a water bed. He took his shirt off, and lay face down. I started the massage and put my all into it... He relaxed, and made quite a few noises indicating his enjoyment. The massage went along fine and then he spoke up and quipped, "Now how about the front?" I sat there, eyes as wide as the Grand Canyon... "Front?!?" I said shyly.
"Yep." He said, and with that he did a fast-flip on his back and put his hands behind his head. Not one to look like an amateur, I obliged and of course started with arms and chest, wondering all the while, what was to become of this situation. My teen aged blood was rushing, my heart beating out of my chest and my face, I'm sure was flushed crimson.
I was working my way around all of his well-kept muscles, as he urged me on... 'lower' he whispered. As I moved lower, all of a sudden, he leaned up and pulled me towards him, kissing my mouth... and with tongue nonetheless!! I was wrapped up and totally swept away, as our kiss turned into a full-on make out session. This was it, I was finally kissed. As he laid me back, and lay over the top of me kissing and caressing me all over, I reached my hands around his back, and with a sigh of relief, I gently turned my class ring.
Larry never even noticed, as his hands roamed everywhere, and finally moved to a place that made me stop. I snapped open my eyes, and diverted his hand. "Um... I... can't." (I knew where this was going, and although I honestly did want to go with it, and experience what was about to happen, the most natural thing in the world stopped me... my period!!) [Sorry guys, I don't know any other way to say it... don't be squeamish] ;)
He looked at me, rather confused and said, "Why??" I returned his glance, and couldn't think what to say. I staggered a bit, and he continued to kiss me more... I pondered the situation, I mean--my period had nearly stopped, and I was barely still bleeding, he might not even notice... But of course, I had no experience at all, and at the time I thought it would be the worst thing ever. I couldn't even imagine doing that. So I stopped him again.
"I'm sorry, I really can't... it's 'that time'." I blushed, I know I looked mortified and felt ridiculous. The look on his face was pained. He retreated, and we sat there for a moment... and he said, "That's alright, we can do other things." I'll end the story there.
I then wondered if that would be the last he would ever attempt with me. Looking back, I would have much preferred to call Larry R. my first as opposed to my real first experience... which wasn't any 'bad' thing, but it definitely wasn't a magical experience like girls dream it should be. He was a 'friend', but he wasn't someone I really liked like "that". Looking back, I know the only reason I did it was that once again, I felt like a freak for still being a virgin, and I trusted him. I still wish it had been someone that I really liked.
Growing up is a weird, confusing time. There's peer pressure, pressure that we put on ourselves and then just the puzzle of life itself. Learning about people, the world and where exactly we fit into all of that... I made my mistakes, but I could've done way worse than I did.
Here's to you, Larry R... my first real "frog" and one of my very first lessons in Growing Pains 101.