Chapter 1: The Dark Before The Dawn

Following the Fleshfest, so much happened. It wasn't long before the loss of my neice, which threw our family on its ear, not to mention my big Sister, Vickie who was changed forever as one could imagine by losing a child.

I continued down the wretched path of playing house with Chris, who was on a downward spiral and had nearly taken me right along for the ride. At one point, he had some friends of his (a couple, with a toddler) who had no place to live-and he took it upon himself to move them into my tiny 1-bedroom apartment, even though I wasn't even supposed to have him staying there much less any others. I continued to hide this from my landlord until I finally went off the deep end and couldn't take the living situation or any of their behavior any longer. With Tamra's help, we called up my landlord and explained the situation, and told her that we wanted them out of my place and fast. She was unbelievably understanding, as well as helpful. I was finally free of him at last, and wanted nothing more to do with this worthless excuse for a man.

The time had come to get my life back on track... as i'd realized more and more how short it really is, and that you never know what's around the bend. Still, I had some rough times ahead... I had lost a couple of jobs because of my circumstances and dealings with Chris.

Soon, I got a job at a printing company called Sir Speedy. Things began looking brighter. Everyone I worked with was wonderful, and even gained some valuable friendships there too. Tamra and I were still intrigued by this music scene in Memphis, and had acquainted ourselves with the crowd that frequented and played in these bands. We were having fun times again. Usually, we would make it to most of the shows that the guys were all putting together at different venues, and kind of became part of the gang... this "Memphis Metal Scene". Sometimes, there would be parties at various people's houses after the show, in which we'd attend. One in particular was at the house where the lead singer of "Incineration" lived. Everyone was drinking beer and partying, it was a pretty full house. I had brought along some Clove cigarettes. I have never been a smoker, but I was just playing around with them because I liked the taste that the cloves left on my lips. Everyone else loved them too, as everyone there had to 'bum' one of my clove cigarettes. I was pretty tired before the night was through, half asleep on the couch when this guy who was now playing in a band called "Legion of Divine Punishment", Rich came over and started chatting me up. He was cool, very nice... introduced himself and wanted to play their newly recorded CD for me. I obliged.

Rich stuck by my side for the rest of the evening, forcing me to listen to his CD countless times. We sat at the kitchen table, talking for what seemed a few hours. We seemed to have plenty to talk about, never running out of things to say. In my mind I vaguely entertained thoughts of whether he was cute or not. He wasn't really my "type", his skintone was about like mine and I'd always gone for a guy with more of a tanned complexion. He had darker hair and dark brown eyes alright, but still he was a little more 'stocky' than the usual 'beanpoles' that I ended up with. "Not really my speed" I thought "Don't think I really could date him" I continued to 'convince' myself... I think that I always had some sort of paranoia about weight, which was why I usually dated taller thin guys-not sure about the psychology behind this, it's just a theory I have about why I did it.

[Rich would later admit that on the evening in question, he had every intention of getting me to the car, or to a bedroom and 'getting in my pants', but this proved unsuccessful.]

The hour grew late, and it came time for us to leave. When we got up to leave, Rich gave me a tiny piece of paper that he ripped off an envelope. It had his name written on it ("Rich" or "9" he had people call him "9" as his band nickname with LDP). I eyed the slip of paper (which I still have in my wallet, right next to a four-leaf clover my mother picked for me). It had a phone number and his e-mail address on it. He smiled at me and said "Gimme a call sometime!" I took the piece of paper, smiled back and said "Ok, sure." (all the while thinking of dismissing it). Still there was something about him deep down that I liked. I couldn't really admit it to myself at the time, but eventually I would have to reckon with this emotion.

"Ok, see you guys later." Tamra and I said, then we were on our way.

Things that are meant to be will happen I guess. There is a time and a place for everything, and Love? Well, Love is a big pimple and no matter how much you try to cover it up, it festers... eventually comes to a head, and bursts all over your mirror.

{ To Be Continued }

;)