Monday, January 29, 2007

III. Pardon me, do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Oh, o.k. i'll go ahead with the next installment. Here goes:

The Printing Industry was paying the bills, pretty much. I was proofreading agrichemical and pharmaceudical labels that were on their way to be printed and distributed to the delight of farmers and pill-popping socker moms everywhere. Not really my bag, the proofreading although I always enjoyed English and Grammar. I majored in Art and Recess, so my heart has never been full of anything but passion and creativity. Some time down the road, the printing industry ride would end due to the 'corporate' politics and the fact that the head proofreader, Phil had taken a general disliking to me; I didn't fit in with his "perfectamundo-hippie with OCD who runs marathons" mold, so when the opportunity arose, he made sure along with the creepy department manager that I was history, and so I would soon be onto a whole new path.

But wait, yes... the story. Back to the story, you're right. My apologies.

The "CRUD" had its way with Memphis, and moshed around in our little scene until we finally kicked it out. When I was well, it was so great to be able to breathe without that godawful "death rattle". Rich continued to hang around near his favorite "Evil Duo" (Tamra and Myself) always quipping that he had to have his fix, because we were always so funny and crazy to hang out with. He would always laugh at the things I said and ask me "Where the hell does this shit come from? How do you come up with it all the time?" Of course, I didn't know-I was just being myself, which has never put me in any A-lists... i've always been the same old soul, never changing how I feel inside. Once, he sat by me at the bar at a gig and drew the most hilarious 'boy & girl privates' on my arm--to this day he still says "They were realistic, and you know it!." Why did I let someone draw such a disgusting and perverted scene on my arm? I don't know. Mom would've beat the daylights out of me, but I suppose I enjoyed his company, his laugh and his wit... maybe somewhere deep inside I was developing an admiration for the guy. ;)

However, my mind was far away from that point... yet. I had seen another member of this scene that I thought intrigued me, "Billy". Billy was the lead singer of one of the other metal bands, and for some reason I thought he was cool looking. He had long, dyed black hair and was pierced [Everywhere]. Yes, he and Prince Albert were pretty good friends... and he made a point to tell this to everyone as well. He took an interest in me, and at that moment It was just fine with me. Looking back, I of course wanted to kick myself in the ovaries for this one. Don't worry, after an exhaustive, eye-opening make-out session in Legion's upstairs bathroom, I quickly lost interest, freak or no freak! It was very late, Tamra, who was my ride had to leave earlier in the evening so I was without transportation, and desperate to escape the likes of Billy! How would I sneak away unnoticed?

I called a friend/ex-coworker, Glenda and asked her if she could come over to the Legion house and pick me up. She said she'd be there as soon as she could. I went outside and sat on the curb to await the arrival of her 'Thunderchicken' as we called her old beat-up Thunderbird. I had been sitting outside for a little while, when Rich came out of the house to check on me.

"You alright? Do you need a ride or anything?" he asked.

"Oh, hey thanks, but a friend of mine is on her way."

"Aaaight." he replied, and retreated back into the house to undoubtedly crash.

One might wonder, after all of the times I have 'dissed' him or thwarted his efforts to pick me up, why would he even care if I had a ride home or not? I would've probably written me off long before this. In fact, he really had begun to distance himself and had basically stopped 'trying' to get my interest. I really think he was merely being a nice guy that morning that he saw me on the steps.

Just a short while later, Glenda's Thunderchicken pulled up to the curb and I got in. I was exhausted, and thinking of how to stay clear of Billy for a while. We stopped off and ate breakfast at McDonald's. Then she dragged me to Wal*Mart to pick up flowers for her yard, and I followed her around the garden center like a Zombie, well ready to catch some Zzz's. Finally, she takes me back to her place and I fell asleep on her fluffy, white couch for a few hours, which was one of the best naps I think i've had to this very day. My how a night of partying and making out with people you never wanna see again has a tendency to wear you thin.

Coming up Next: Ink and Metal combined with severely sucky gig-scheduling causes angst among the bands, and sparks suprising romance in unexpected places...


RockDog said...

Still interesting...if we didn't know that you somehow ended up with Rich I would say he was not to be... does this turn around???!!!

Enough with the cliff ahngers...spew it! LOL!

her indoors said...

you are with this guy? i was wondering how it turned round too! so hurry hurry hurry!

Aunt Jackie said...

lol... Patience my little pretties!