Friday, July 11, 2008

I'll Rock, Chop 'N Roll You

As I made my way in to work this morning, I looked around at the cartoon-like mayhem that surrounded me. It's something that you can get numbed to because there are so many idiots, and it's just every day, all day long. But when I looked around, I just sat in disbelief and wondered if everyone felt this way, or was it JUST ME? Do the crazed numskulls simply pick me out to "cut off", or to swerve over towards, or drive slowly in front of, as if to annoy the piss out of me? I think, perhaps I have given my fellow drivers too much credit. Maybe they really are just that stupid, and they aren't even aware of it. I mean, the newer car models are made with such complicated Turn Signals, it's no wonder they don't know how to operate them, and that they commonly mistake the brake for the gas pedal. Should I just ease up on them?

Hey YOU!! No-Child-Left-Behind, Hooked On Phonics, Riding The Short Bus, "Where'd You Get Your Driver's License, Mickey-D's ASSHOLES???!?!" I'M NOT LOVING IT!!!

Made the turn off the highway, extremely frustrated and ready for the week to be over with, and made one more attempt at finding a decent song on the radio. In the spirit of my terrible Karma, ("If It weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all..."), the next song that zapped me was the famous hit by "Rick Astley".

I can't believe after all the crap I was put through simply trying to get to work to make a living, the universe felt that it had to kick me in the kidneys by "Rick Rolling" me.

If you're not familiar with the term Rick Roll, then Click Here, because once again, Wiki brings us the ultimate in education. Don't worry, if you don't want to read that, or can't read, then this video will do the trick.

O.k., normally that happens when they mislead you into watching the video by posting it up as something you are searching for, and in reality they have replaced that with the Rick Astley one. If you watched the video, then you really just wanted to get Rick Rolled.

I actually had the chance to double up on this with another extreme self-mutilation video that went around not too long ago, the "BME Pain Olympics Video". I don't know if you heard about that, and I don't exactly know how real it was, but it was so fierce that my big bad husband could not even watch it. I wanted to know what the fuss was all about, so I went to WATCH THE BME PAIN OLYMPICS (DICK CHOP) VIDEO. I have a strong stomach. If you don't, do NOT click the link (and 18+!!!).

Somehow, by accident, I flashed the screen over to Richie and his friend, Chris while still playing Rick Astley's video in the background, so the mutilation went right with his song. I found that to be quite funny. Just picture a guy chopping off his genitals with a hatchet to the tune of 'Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down... never gonna say goodbye, never gonna make you cry... (or HURT you)'. You see where this is going... I, having such a sick sense of humor, thought this was hilarious. But by the nauseated looks on the guys faces, they didn't quite enjoy it as much. :)

It seems I 'Dick Chopped' AND 'Rick Rolled' them at the same time, which I'm told is both depraved and cruel. Pardone Moi!!!

But it is Friday guys, and I made it through the week. I now must go and make it through my band gig tonight, but I want to first appreciate YOU--My readers, my blog family. I make you the Rick Astley Promise, and I intend to keep that.

I, Aunt Jackie, Solemly swear:

"I'm never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie OR hurt you."

Come to think of it, I would really love to Dick Chop
AND Rick Roll "The Two Coreys"

Wait, did I say that aloud?!?! Sorry!!

O.k., o.k... I digress... so if you EVER do any of the above to your SELF, I can't be held responsible, though I will offer a non-judgmental ear.

So please, look both ways before crossing the street, a watch out for those bad drivers, dick choppers and Rick Rollers Y'all!


JINKS said...

Aunt...lmao, are you back on caffeine?
You and my sister have so much in common, both sign of Cancer, both graduated with top honors in the
LorainA Bobbit School of Charm...have great weekend...hmmm, for some reason dick chop reminds me of Dick Cheney...oh well, wishing won't make it so.

Aunt Jackie said...

lol Jinks!

"I have a little too much blood in my Caffeine system."

Have a great weekend!

Jay said...

I don't find this whole "dick chop" idea funny at all. ;-)

Hey, you need one of those "Play your iPod through your car stereo" thingies. They're pretty cool and you don't risk any Rick Rolling. And you can stay away from country music too. Which is the best part.

BBC said...

Geez.... With all that other chaos around you how do you have the time for such a complex and long post?

Aunt Jackie said...

LoL Jay :) I know, it's something that does seem to give guys the willies... Oh there we go again.

Actually, now, I have my Sirius Stiletto and I listen to whatever else I want, but I still happened across the Rick Roll. Oddly enough, I couldn't change the channel. :O

BBC! :) I'll repeat, "I'm Just That Good". Oh, you know you love me.