Not Necessarily Stoned, Even Less Beautiful

Words can't describe my feelings today, at this moment. I feel stressed, yet I still feel my inner voice saying "don't even sweat anything, it's all gonna pan out". I know that, still I really feel the treads of this long week... I'm still sweating taxes, family's expectations of things I gotta do, trying to keep up the pace and carry on the workload professionally. Everyone's been there at some point or another, and stressing doesn't get any of it resolved faster, so I'm gonna take my deep breath and chill.

{***deep breath***}

O.k... good (I guess).

Now, what do I blog about if I don't rant about being stressed at this moment? Because that's exactly what I was about to do!

No post yesterday, I was busy at work, then busy after work helping a friend with some computer "how to's"... so I got home late, got to bed late, then woke up late.

Waking up late screwed up our morning workout, Mr. J got screwed out of a good breakfast since I didn't 'fix eggs' for him. He ended up eating yogurt and almonds, and making me feel guilty about that (whether or not he did it intentionally).

My question is, why do I feel like I am the one who is expected to make the world spin around? Like everything is going to stop if I don't consistently "push" it so that it keeps moving along? Maybe it's genetic... after all Mom has made breakfast every single morning for Dad in all the years they've been married (with the exception of nowadays when he throws his fit for "Huddle House"). She caters to everything he needs, and I watched it all my life.

I don't consider myself being run over, and I like to take care of those that I love, but it would be nice if all the responsibilities of life didn't feel like they were on my shoulders. I'm just not the "June Cleaver" type, and I like my time to slack and do absolutely nothing too.

So today I had to feel guilty because I am still having trouble getting the taxes finalized, and that's not just me, I'm still waiting on some amended forms from my boss... And that I slept too late to make breakfast, and I just feel very tired and worn down.

It's really time for a get-away...