All of my life, I have been funny. Not funny as in "strange", although I am also strange, but funny ha-ha. I enjoy making people laugh, and I seemed to do that easily since a very early age.
Then I began blogging. Originally, I wanted to make my blog a compelling literary work, one of great humor and inspiration. Sometimes that falters though, and I feel like my humor waxes and wanes. I am jealous of those who have such witty commentary and enthralled followers, and I often wonder why I don't have more than I do as long as I have had this blog.
If everyone knew me in daily life, I am honestly the one who keeps people laughing, so I don't know what happens between there and here. I guess I just get tired and find more solace and relaxation in venting my feelings, and occasionally emotional or inspirational posts.
Truly, I wish my blog was funnier and that people enjoyed it more.
Now, where was I? The other day I took on the self-appointed exercise to write a "letter to someone I needed to forgive". I stated that the person would be ME... So let me go ahead and give this a try.
I'm sorry for all the times I have failed you, or put you down, or made you feel like a loser.
I am sorry also for dragging you through so much pain and getting you involved with people who were beneath you, or abusive to you.
You are always there for me, I have failed you.
I will try to do better, I promise.
(The Tears Of A Clown)