Sunday, August 19, 2007

Cooking Up Some Mischief

Friday night, we threw various meats on the grille, and a few of Richie's buddies came by. All this was very "spur of the moment". Richie sprang it on me in mid-afternoon, and the house wasn't even properly cleaned. But oh well, after my long day at work I still had to spring into action once I got home and perform actions to the ill-fated bird that were so NOT for the faint of heart.

Specialty du jour was "Drunken Chicken" so, my wuss of a husband hands me the full-bodied fowl, and the beer can and asked me to stuff an onion in its neck and a beer can up its ass, and give it a good rub-down with the dry rub.

It was difficult for me, but I always have to do difficult things such as get rid of the cockroaches, touch frogs, clean up unholy hairballs... why?? Because my 'big, strong, fearless hunk-o-man is what?? Scared shitless of it all. It's alright, it is my fate... my cross to bear. ;)

Anyroad, the night kicked off and we cooked up "kosher" hot dogs, Richie's famous Brats, a few burgers, some curry chicken breasts and the above drunken chicken... There was a great deal of beer. One of the guys, who is normally drunk by noon, is mostly 'on his way' even before most parties get started... He's the one who you always know you're going to have to help out before the night is over. Friday night, he had the audacity to pass out before 8:00 p.m. (It wasn't even dark yet). Due to many things he'd done, such as puke in my car once, and attack our olfactory systems numerous times with his wicked-demonic gastro-intestinal problems, including embarrassing my best friend Tamra once in a club by continuously farting at the bar... I felt he deserved a little "Beauty Treatment". The following is what happened next.

We began with a little application of onions to the face.
Even Rodney the cat is embarrassed for him.

Then we added some lovely artwork to the
forehead for much-needed decoration

And finally, the finishing touch,
bright red Wet-n-Wild lipstick.
"OWNED!!"

Cook-Out Tip#873: Never pass out in a drunken stupor before dark,
it's just sad... and dangerous.

14 comments:

Jay said...

It's pretty much a given that if you pass out before the sun sets things like this are going to happen to you. He should have expected it. LOL

I've only ever passed out drunk twice and luckily it was in my own place and I didn't get the "treatment".

her indoors said...

love it well done i say, what happened when he woke up?

Aunt Jackie said...

Jay: This is true, he could learn a valuable lesson from this so we can stop 'carrying' him out of places. :)

Indoors: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed his predicament. When he woke up, he was mad, and pouty and stormed home on foot. But the next day he calmed down. lol!!!

awaiting said...

We should so team up! I'll have to post some pics of one of my buds...he always has a way of getting drunk around me and I always have fun with it...although you have now become my mentor...must take notes for future reference!

That chicken looks soooooo good!

captain corky said...

That'll teach him to drink!!! LOL!

Aunt Jackie said...

Awaiting, yes that's true-I remember some of your stories! We must have an alliance for this sort of thing! LOL!
I aim to humiliate!! :)

That was the juiciest chicken ever!!

Corky!! He does a pretty good job of it, but if he learns his lesson we won't be able to torment him anymore!

JINKS said...

Cheers,
"to all the drunks
she's rolled before"

hey, you stuck the beer can up the wrong arse, no?

Aunt Jackie said...

Jinks: So true! So True... Why didn't I think of that?!!? ;)

Sara said...

Top fun AJ, sounds like my kinda party! xx

Aunt Jackie said...

Wish You could've been there Sara!! :) I bet you're tons of fun at parties!

ZigZagMan said...

LOL....this my friend, is why I'm always the last to fall asleep at camp!!! :)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Chicken!! Yeahehehaaaa...I am so hungry now. This a very funny post, and maybe a good lesson for anyone not wanting a johnson on his noggon` :-) I know I don't.

This new template change is Killer. I really like it.

Well, off to the store for chicken and candy, "SpeedyCat H."

barnze said...

Ha hahahahahahaha...
Classic out for the count face painting..Only been done once myself so i know how it feels on waking.

Chucky said...

I can't believe I missed this post!

That's soo evil, and greatness at the same time!

He's luck if that's all y'all did to him :P