As I was sitting here, struggling to think about what to write in the spirit of "Mitzvah" (This Month's NaBloPoMo blogging theme), I realized something. Rarely do I give myself enough credit or self-love for the things that I do for others on a daily basis without even thinking of it. Most of the time I am busy fighting attacks of self-loathing, which may just be natural to have to deal with in this "human experience".
Somehow, I had the idea in my head that I was going to have to go out of my way to conjure up acts of kindness, or dream up things to do, or gifts to give so that I could blog about them, as the theme suggests.
However, it hit me as an epiphany... I may have my ups and downs, my negative thoughts or my general hostilities that I constantly have to work on (at least I am working on it, not letting it win), but every day, without thought I am giving a kind or uplifting word, trying to inspire my friends and loved ones, or people that need a cheer. I am thinking of them, sending them positive energy or well wishes, offering a hand when I go above and beyond to make their day a little easier. These things that I think and do in my every day life, I have let slip by unnoticed by me--As if I wasn't doing anything good.
That's kind of cool though, I think it means my heart is at least trying to be in the right place without having to be coerced that much. It means that I have some natural ability to care, still embedded within me, for those that at least inspire it or draw it from me.
I guess the challenge that lies ahead of me then, is to try to do the same for those who are not nice people, the ones who make it difficult, which is still an extremely high number of human beings. Perhaps they are the ones who need the gift of my care the most.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."