I'm not going to make a huge deal out of it, but can't get through this day without wishing Z a very happy birthday. I hope that he has or gets all he deserves in life, always hope for the best and that he and his family are doing well. It's all I can really do... So, today Z, I thought of you and next week when it's my birthday (22nd), I doubt you'd even remember that or think of me and mine, but that's o.k., the world continues to roll around and round. It's all good, you're righteous and don't have to worry bout nothin, right?? You're cool.
Ok, enough of that I can see where it was headed lol, let me shut my mouth now. Geez, it started out all cool too like it sometimes does, then turned sour... kind of like yesterday's nasty-ass pistol-packin potato salad.
Yeah, you've got your heroes and your zeroes. Then there are times when you still think the zeroes could be heroes. Good thing to do is really try to mentally "burn" all of your old junk ties to things. I was at lunch, alone, like I usually am these days, reading a copy of The Memphis Flyer. I entertain myself sometimes with their Horoscope column, which is very interesting to me while I know they make it comical so that it elicits a giggle. These are done by Rob Brezny's Free Will Astrology. It's fun, check yours.
Anyway, the one that I happened to be reading this particular day stated the following:
Cancer Horoscope for week of June 11, 2009
In honor of the karmic clean-up phase of your astrological cycle, I invite you to do the following exercise: Imagine a pit in the middle of a desert that holds everything you've ever used up, spoiled, and outgrown. Your old furniture is here, along with stuff like once-favorite clothes, CDs, and empty boxes of your favorite cereal. But this garbage dump also contains subtler trash, like photos that capture cherished dreams you gave up on, mementos from failed relationships, and symbols of defunct beliefs and self-images you used to cling to. Everything that is dead to you is gathered here. Got that vision in your mind's eye? Now picture yourself dousing the big heap of stuff with gasoline and setting it on fire. Watch it burn.
That's good advice any day I say. But it was one of those "messages" (you know, things that you happen across that feel like they were there just on time or something), that I felt was a reminder to me... More like a 'slap upside the head' really. I say this because I am so guilty sometimes of clinging to faded ghosts, thinking that they are still meaningful beings to me. When I take a closer look, they are just old torn sheets flapping in the wind. They're illusions. I have nothing to my name except today, this moment, and its many gifts.
It really is time to cut those soul strings to all of these past hurts and ties and let them go. I'm wasting my valuable time here on this crooked rock by lying to myself or believing that any of these things help me, or bring me any meaning in the present, and it's time for me to empty out that closet.
The mental way of doing it (illustrated in Brezny's horoscope above) is great, but can I physically attack it too? You know, throw away real keepsakes and memorabilia that go along with it? That I don't know. If not, does that mean I am not truly committed to my burn pile process? I don't know that either.
But as I have said before, I do love the smell of smoke-just not gasoline.
How my achievements mock me!
How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.
~Henry David Thoreau
~Henry David Thoreau