Lately, aside from my philosophical stent with Picasso the other day, I have felt rather wordless. Wordless is kind of unusual for me... normally, I have a great deal that I can usually carry on about (interesting or not).
So I'm trying to work myself out of that. I tend to get worked up sometimes, and I crawl up into my shell and try to retreat from the world, and can become anti-social when that happens... wanting to keep to myself, and hide.
This week, so far hasn't been that ecstatic for me. We had the holiday Monday, as I mentioned yesterday, and that was o.k. because I got to visit my Mom, Dad and Sisters. Yesterday was one of those hum-drum days though. I think it was a full moon, and it was so uneventful and boring to me. Nothing seemed to go right, and also I didn't eat right and ended the day feeling like shit... I managed to walk a mile before band practice, which got me feeling a little better, then practice went not-too-bad, so I felt better after that too, then we had to hit the grocery store on the way home, and Richie and I had another argument about financial crap, which left me feeling rock bottom again.
This morning, I'm making it a little better. I'm not feeling AS woeful, but I'm not pumped up, not in the least. I have vowed to whip myself into shape about the dietary slips, and stop being tempted by all things shitty. Richie and I did really well the very first go-around we had with our diet and fitness, and there is nothing stopping me but myself... I can't let these mood swings and days that I don't think are going my way to shoot me down. It's like a drug or something, if you engage in some behavior that temporarily makes you feel better (such as the shitty food), you will invariably crash at the end of the day and feel worse than ever. I think that combined with just some inner conflicts I have been having worked me into a negative frenzy.
I'm trying to get back to the positive... I am trying to learn to rely only on my own positive thoughts and emotions to stay afloat, and not let others affect me. We all know that is a hard thing to do though.
Have some errands to run at lunch, and I think I'll do that, and maybe write a little or something instead of having anything bad. Last week and this week just seem to be trying to take swings at me, but I will prevail! :)
Have a great hump day, all of my beloved blog family... never doubt how hard you all ROCK!!!