Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Good Starts

Getting your day off to a good start is important, is it not? For example, my day starts off at its best when I am able to get my exercise first thing in the morning, have a peaceful little breakfast, quick soak in the tub, get ready in peace and then tackle the day.

This morning that was not the case.

Just about 2:00 a.m. I awoke from yet another dream about Slash. It's all fine and good that I dream about him, but this is a man who I met only once, when he was using my back to sign my shirt. I admire him and his talent, but that's about it. He really has enjoyed showing up in my dreams though! So this time, he and my husband (Mr. J) were hanging out and jamming, and drinking tequila. They made ME go and get their tequila (which was a brand called "Pit Viper"). To my knowledge, there is no tequila named Pit Viper, so that was funky. There was more happening around me, but that was the basic jist of it. I sat up in bed, decided to go and pee, then went back to sleep for an a couple of hours I guess.

Mr. J woke up extra early after spilling ice water on himself, so he could not return to sleep. Therefore I was not allowed to either. He asked if I wanted to go ahead and hit up the gym. Then he began poking me in the armpits with his big fat fingers, and agitating me... that was all fine and good until I reacted automatically like anybody would, and reached backwards and slapped at his forehead with what I thought was my fingers. He said I hit him in the forehead with my wedding ring and it started World War III.

He refused to believe that I didn't do it on purpose. Admittedly, I am clumsy about things, and usually bruise myself up a lot on door knobs, or cut myself with knives when slicing onions etc, and I guess to others it's no exception... I swear on my life though, that the ring part was an accident. He has stated this several times about my wedding ring as though it is some sort of weapon I use to slice him from root to tip... You might picture him duct taped in a dungeon being repeatedly poked and cut with my marquee. I just don't understand why I have to have episodes in which I am made out to be some sort of evil warlord bearing deadly diamonds. Is this sane??

I know I have my faults, but deliberately beating my spouse with jewelry is not my bag. Still, he cursed and yelled about this saying that I was lying and that it has happened so many times that he knows I am doing it on purpose. Then he threatened to sell my wedding ring... a ring that I basically begged to finally get, and that I more or less paid for myself, technically. It was a bad start to my day.

Starting the day off with Crazy Fights is not my idea of fun. It's over now, but this type of thing still makes you feel like crap, and makes you want to punch everyone you encounter throughout the day with a smile on their face right in the kisser. It's alright, I'll be ok, by the end of the day I'm sure I will have moved on to some other ridiculous pain.

When I feel agitated in this way, I identify with the character that comedian "Jay Mohr" played in a little movie called "King's Ransom"

I Want To Do This (video below).

I just think it would make me feel better.

PS: Please save the advise if it is going to be something negative or annoying because I don't want to hear it... Just laugh, or cry and move along... thank you and have a nice day.

People just make me crazy sometimes.

1 comment:

Jay said...

You could always keep a bat next to the bed and hit him with that.