Thursday, May 31, 2007

Some of My Worst Mistakes Have Been Haircuts

I popped by "However" (Chelly's blog) and nicked this quotation...

"Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts." (-Jim Morrison)

This got me thinking... Some of my worst mistakes have probably been haircuts too... although not all of them (I will post a few photographs of some of these tragic haircuts I had just as soon as I get my hands on some).

I've had a few 'doosies' and "near miss" incidents in my life, as well as things I wish I hadn't done... but we can't go back, can we?

Sometimes when I go home (home to Mom & Dad's house), I feel the essence of my youth, and I seem to expect a time warp of sorts... as if I am there long enough, then maybe all of a sudden the 'kids' will all come driving up the driveway and things will be like they are supposed to be again. Once again, things will go back to being 'right'. I close my eyes tightly, then when I open them I look down at the end of the driveway and still, nobody is there.

I feel guilty on the inside for ever leaving home. Maybe that is part of being the baby of the family? I can see my family, my Mom and Dad and the house so clearly in my mind, being just as bright and full of joy as ever. But it is as if I am standing outside it looking upon it in a glass case... it is there, somewhere in time but I can't get back in... I can only view it in my dreams now.

So, sometimes I take the notion that maybe, just maybe things would have never changed if I hadn't moved away. Maybe Daddy's condition wouldn't have worsened, maybe Mom wouldn't have had to quit her job at Wal*Mart, the one she loved so much--that seemed to keep her going at times... Maybe I wouldn't have ever grown up at all. Maybe the rest of the family wouldn't be in pain and maybe everyone could be back together again, same as it ever was... Dad always called me a "Pipe Dreamer". I guess he is right about that... I'm constantly dreaming of a time when everything goes back to perfect. But was anything ever perfect?

Perfection is a state of personal perception over a time of life which seems so fantastic now in retrospect. I know we've always had problems of one thing or another... So this is all a big bunch of ridiculousness that I have dreamed up in one of my better trippy moments I suppose... If so, I guess I prefer to live my happy illusion that things were indeed perfect. Everyone else can harbor their resentments of the past.

So sure-life moved on, and yes I did many things that I shouldn't have done, some of which I wish I actually 'hadn't' done... but then everything you do, and everything you go through brings you to this exact moment and makes you who you are today... so I guess true regret would depend on just how much you love yourself right now.

When I think of my philosophies on Life, I always try to pass on the "No Regrets" policy... and I guess for the most part, I don't have that many regrets. However hard we try, though most people at least have a few. What regrets have you?

7 comments:

JINKS said...

I regret not telling my third grade teacher to kiss my ass.
I regret not having approached Alex Lindsey the night of highschool graduation
I regret not having taken up Pam
Green's invitation to teach with her. I regret not having intervened when I witnessed an adult unleashing serious verbal abuse on a little boy......

Aunt Jackie said...

Thank you for sharing with me Jinks... I guess since it is my post, I should at least join in:

-I regret that I didn't apply myself in High School, and in College as well as I could have.
-I regret not finding a way to go to Memphis College of Art.
-I regret not accomplishing more, earlier in life.
-I regret wasting so much time on losers that didn't give 2 shits about me.
-I totally regret Chris Scroggins.
-I regret ever hurting anyone's feelings (If I have).
-I regret spending most of my life with such low self-esteem.

captain corky said...

I could say that I regret my first marriage but then I never would have met my wife. I guess I don't like to dwell to much on regrets. I did when I was younger and it just made me feel worse. Know what I mean?

Camie Vog said...

I regret listening to my high school adviser when he said he didn't think I was smart enough to go to University.

I regret not leaving my first husband sooner. He was really disturbing.

I believe that is it. I figure we are given lessons and it is up to us to utilize what we learn from them to make us stronger and wiser.

Aunt Jackie said...

Great Stuff so far guys!! :)

her indoors said...

I regret moving house so many times.
I regret not listening at school.
I regret losing touch with friends.
I regret not making peace with my dad before he died.
oh by the way so looking forward to the bad hair days photos!
have a great weekend AJ

Travis Erwin said...

I think the worst kind of regret donesn't come from mistakes but from not trying in the first place. Those are the ones that usually haunt people for life and make for really good books.