Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Coffee Talk and Salad Days

Back to life, back to reality... Back to the here and now yeah! Yeah, back to it... The weekend really did pass off way too fast [once again]. Seems like time is constantly moving into a fast-forward mode, more each day. I didn't get very much done over the weekend, not like I'd planned. I didn't get to go and see the Reverend Horton Heat Show at the Young Avenue Deli. Seems like that happens alot nowadays. I can't get anyone to really go anywhere or do anything fun... it's a bummer sometimes. Actually with the Reverend Horton Heat show, once it was nearly time just from the hassle of worrying over getting prepared and trying to go, I was put off it anyway so I didn't care anymore.

So I played video games a bit, tried to get some things done and went down to my Parents' house Sunday night to visit. First off, I arrived later than my Mother desired, so as is becoming the trend, she greeted me in a bad mood. I've talked about this before, she's not the same peaceful, medicinal "Mom" that I've known all my life, it's more now about feeling life has cheated her, or seeming bitter about the current circumstances. None of us call or come see her enough, although 'she understands we all have our own lives, and can't be expected to be bothered with her'. Things like that, that's what I am coming to know and expect from my visits home... nothing is as it used to be, nothing at all.

"Fill'er Up!"
She finally apologized, saying to 'look over her' she just didn't feel well or she was tired, and didn't mean to sound negative. Fair enough, I tried my best to look over it and take the conversation to an uplifting place. We sat and visited over coffee. I tend to drink more coffee when I go home to Mom's than I ever drink on a normal basis. She had previously complained that we arrive too late, when it is time for her to go to bed and then we're usually ready to leave by noon and that is useless for any sort of visit. I felt it was futile to fight with her or to oppose what she was saying. She was in full lecture mode, and seems to be using me as an outlet more these days... Maybe I deserve it I don't know. ("Pack your bags, you're going on a guilt trip!")

The next morning, Memorial Day (Monday) was a little better. I woke up early enough to go in and sit and have some of her wonderful coffee and we had a quiet, slightly more joyful visit. Music playing, and the sounds of the birds and the warm air... took me back to the "Salad Days" when summer meant nearly 3 months of carefree youth, and the only thing we worried about was what mischief we might find, what boy we were going to pursue and how not to get caught doing things our parents would've disapproved of. So, she and I shared a few laughs, more apologies ensued, and not to exclude more complaints from her about the state of the world. But I fought the good fight to keep the conversation from taking a suicide-mission dive.

Then we went outside on the screened in front porch, which is always very relaxing to me. Mom has quite a few wind chimes hanging there, which when the breeze blows through make quite a therapeutic symphony to my ears. I propped my feet up, listened to the soft chimes and had a small "escape" for a little while... but now, it is back to reality and the deadlines that I am sooo looking forward to.

Guess we just have to keep on moving, and keeping on :)


captain corky said...

Hang in there Jackie!

ZigZagMan said...

Hey......least you didn't have to give a federal deposition! :)

Tisha! said...

BIG kiss precious!

JINKS said...

Hugs Jackie, it all sounds so familiar the way our roles in life change, iggy the bad moods and keep the sunshine that you are coming back into your mom's life.

RockDog said...

Maybe you jsut need to take a big poo? Sometimes that helps me when I'm feeling blue. LOL!

Dan said...

Jaxx, I'm sorry to hear your mom is being a bit cranky lately. Perhaps she's going through some stuff and trying to order things around in her head. Always know, though, that her complaints (in a weird way) mean that she loves you.

Otherwise it wouldn't matter that you don't visit enough or arrive late, right? She wouldn't care otherwise.

Hugs Jaxxx!


I'd settle for cranky wi mine!