Friday, May 18, 2007

Mud, Buttons and Barbecue

Friday is a great time to relax and have fun. Come to think of it, anytime is a great time to do just that in my book. It's not always possible though, as sometimes you just have to 'TCB' (Take Care of Business). Usually it's when you're uselessly stressing over things that you think you're supposed to stress over, but inevitably have no control over (hint: that's pretty much ANYTHING that you would stress about), that's when other forces of nature (or freaks of nature) come along to pile on the additional rage or annoyance. This was pause for me stop and contemplate what entities, occurrences or idiots push my buttons at just those moments! :)

So here are just a few!

  1. Drivers who deliberately screw you over at 4-way stops when clearly it wasn't their turn

  2. Rude drivers in general, or those who drive while putting on make-up or styling their hair

  3. Rude people period

  4. People, obviously thinking that they are the only person in existence who try to walk into the elevator the second the door opens before even letting you off the elevator first. I think the person getting out has the 'right of way', am I wrong? (this goes under rudeness too I guess)

  5. In an office environment:

    • People who forget that others are working or speaking over the phone with clients who use "Speakerphone" for every call, even though they are not in a 'conference call', is it too taxing to pick up that heavy receiver?

    • Those same people who stand close to your cubicle while you're quietly assisting someone over the phone (sans speakerphone) who do not know what an "Inside Voice" is

    • People who walk up and interrupt you while you're talking and disrespectfully change the subject

    • People who incessantly sneak up behind you, and stare over your shoulder just to be nosy

    • People who go through several steps to ask you to do something for them, when in that same amount of time they wasted trying to e-mail you about it, they could've already done said task themselves

  6. Anyone driving next to you, at a stop light, pulling up at a gas station, or going through a drive-thru that has their radio turned up loud enough to share it with anyone in a 2 mile radius. We appreciate your thinking of us, but we have our own music and don't need yours.

  7. I repeat myself to state that I cannot abide people who ride around with their bright (high-beam) headlights on, usually combined with their fog lights, the brightness of which would make Ray Charles emerge from his grave and shoot them the bird.

  8. People in any public place that stare. Didn't your mother tell you that was rude? If you want to see something truly funny, peek in the mirror.

  9. Stupid bumper stickers plastered all over people's vehicles, as well as ridiculous license tags like '2QT4U' or 'SUZESTOY'. You're not cute, we don't care what your name is and your 'Toy' is a beat-up, ragged out hunk of metal. Deal with it.

  10. Anyone in a customer service position who looks at you like you shot their mother when you ask them for something, something that simply constitutes doing their job. (i.e., "May I have some ketchup?" or "Pardon me, could you show me to the housewares department?"). To repeat myself, if you don't like people, customer service is not the field for you.
Really people, I could go on and on, but I wont... There's too much material to cover here. :)

In other news, this weekend in Memphis they are having the Memphis in May World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest. You can click that link, which will load a cool photo gallery of the events. There's fun, food and gratuitous amounts of beer to be had at the fest... Some of the events at the Barbecue Festival include a "Miss Piggy" contest, which is a 'beauty' pageant (of sorts)-always hilarious.

For instance, below is one of the barbecue teams sports a clever name and great slogan... Believe me, it gets pretty wild and wonderfully amusing. (Click the photo to view their site).

Another cool and interesting team is Natural Born Grillers.

Of course the judging of the barbecue itself, which involves many teams independent and professional alike who compete to win, sporting hilarious names and costumes for their 'teams'. This whole Memphis in May thing is something to see at least once, if you ever visit Memphis... However, I may or may not make it--It's tough to brave the crowd and the parking and just encounters with mostly rude people (see above). Then again, who knows-If I'm feeling adventurous I just might end up down by the Muddy Mississippi River listening to tunes and sampling 'World Famous' Barbecue.

Delish!!! :)

Whatever you happen to do this weekend, or wherever you may roam... may it be loads of fun, rage-free and 100% safe!!! Have a blast guys, I'll try to... XOXO.



RockDog said...

Wow...that pig still has a head! What do ya do with that? Does it taste like chicken?

captain corky said...

I always find that Friday's are a good time to pop some extacy and get a back rub or vice versa. ;)

ZigZagMan said...

Sounds like a hoot!!!! Our wedding reception was a hog roast at a local park.....jeans and t-shirt kegger!! And yes....ours still had it's head as well :)

wormbrain said...

Re: #4

This is a personal pet-peev of mine. Therefore, I make it my mission in life to exit the elevator (forcefully if need be)before the doors are all the way open.
Comin' through!

her indoors said...

no excuse for being rude, with you on ALL of those!
me not like that last photo, stupid really as, yes i eat meat but i dont like to see it with heads on, same as fish i dont like to see fish ready to eat with heads on, there you go nowt as strange as folks!
go go go and enjoy the Memphis in May have a great weekend x

CJ (Reservoir Hogs) said...

I'm glad you liked our name (and slogan) for our BBQ team. Next year, stop by the tent and ask for me!