No Songs For Me

Our weather in the south, as most of you probably know, has been unseasonably cold. We get our "cold snaps", but usually it is not as frigid as it is further up the map. I don't mind it at all, really. I have always loved winter weather, and cold temps. Often, I have wondered why I stuck around this place rather than sprouting my wings and flying off to New York City or someplace like I always dreamt.

The biggest reason, I guess I would have to say is my parents. Being 'the baby' of the family, I worried too much and felt too compelled to stay closer to them. In some ways I regret allowing myself to feel this way and miss out on further adventures, and in other ways I am glad I remained close and spent as much time as I could. Unfortunately, when we pick door number 1, we must give up doors 2 and 3... all we can do after that is lie around reminiscing and wondering "What If".

My life has been a good one, there have definitely been less fortunate people in this world than me. I've experienced great love, wonderful friends and family, and quite a few misadventures too. I've been good and I've been bad. Still, I would someday love to sit down and have a cup of coffee or three with a few of my alternate selves. We'd spend the afternoon sitting out at some sidewalk cafe with our hot Javas, and I would grill them for the juicy details on the things that they chose that I didn't get the chance to. What kind of life had they led? Who was "The One" for them? Did they have children? So much I would love to know... things I would enjoy sharing with them too (if they were interested).

Somehow, though, in the back of my mind I just know that my life story would pale in comparison to theirs.

As a woman, I've never had the opportunity to experience what it was like to be a "Barbie Doll", or a "Goddess". I was usually passed over for the prettier friend. In school, I was never accepted by In Crowd, or even remotely popular. In fact, I was barely visible. That's how I felt at any rate. My moments of greatness popped in for a visit, so there have been times in my life that I was made to feel like a goddess, but those times were very short lived. There was always somebody skinnier, small and cute, more exotic, or perfect around to snuff out the small bit of candlelight that made me glow.

So from time to time, I sit back and revel in the enjoyment of remembering those high points and live vicariously through them.

Oh well, so you won't find any historic love tales written with me as the heroin, and they don't write songs about girls like me. That's o.k., I've made peace with that. It only made it that much more "Special" when my occasional Knight In Shining Armor saw my inner goddess and dedicated someone else's song to me.

"... And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
that I put down in words...
How wonderful life is while you're in the world."

Oh how sweet that must be.