Friday, May 15, 2009

Friday I'm In Love

Love, love, love... simply because it is finally Friday and I have nothing better to say about it.

Too much swirling around in my head right now to really pinpoint any particular story from me... although I would like to put up a story again soon. It's been a while since I have shared a good one, has it not?? What do you think, are you ready for one of those infamous "AJ" stories?? And if so, what kind?? I'm enjoying user input lately... it's just helping me brainstorm.

Speaking of user input, I received three great questions for "Ask AJ". I think I will use today's post to tackle them so you might be well informed to start your weekends... (or finish them, whichever comes first, right? lol).

Here we go... now I must warn you, AJ might have to get a bit graphic on some of the topix and advice that are asked of her, so if you don't want to think of me in a "mature" or dirty way, change the channel. Mainly I mean these types of messages for my family members. They prefer to view me as an innocent being. (Shhhhh, please be discrete... my family still thinks I'm a Virgin and I don't want to break their hearts.) rofl

Our first question comes from a great pal, FuriousBall.

He writes,

Dear Aunt Jackie, Why do doggies drag their heiney on the ground?

Well, Furious... first of all thanks so much for this thought provoking inquiry! I for one, being a country girl, grew up around many animals, most common being of course dogs and cats. So this subject is one that I have contemplated often through the years.

Dogs tend to drag their "heiney" on the ground sometimes because they have "Worms", which causes their ass to itch. If the condition tends to appear serious, be kind and take your pet to the Veterinarian for care... I'm certain he would do the same for you.

As well, we have all witnessed "Ass Scratching" in humans and other species, am I right?? Even when a dog doesn't have worms, they might occasionally drag their ass just because it feels fantastic and life is too short not to just scratch your ass every once in a while.

If you seek pointers on enjoying life, you need only observe the animal world.

Hope this helps!

Our 2nd question comes from the lovely and recently engaged,Blogger Blondie who inquires:

Dear Jackie,

My fiance says seamon is good for my skin, hair and throat.


Well Blondie, first off before you put anything onto your face, be informed. We spell it "Semen" (pronounced 'Sea Men' or 'C min').

This topic is certainly one that has baffled and intrigued women and men throughout the ages. Of course many men will attest to this being 100% true, hands-down (no pun intended).

In fact, don't we all from time-to-time look back at our "foremothers" of long ages past and marvel at their porcelain skin? What beauty secrets have they discovered and perhaps passed on through generations of women to keep us resilient and youthful? Was Semen in the mix?

It may be possible... there are so many products on the market today that one might go a little crazy trying to figure it all out. The long and short of it (no pun intended)... it will not hurt, but is surely no substitute for our Nivea. Of course, the generation and application tends to be much more fun!

Nutritional value:
Scientifically speaking, A tablespoon of semen contains approximately six calories. Semen does contain protein, but it also contains all kinds of chemicals and minerals, including water, sugar, calcium, chlorine, magnesium, nitrogen, vitamin B12, and zinc. But it does not contain enough of any of these things to be considered "nutritious."

Ingredients and Benefits:
Male secretions, a.k.a. semen is made up of about 2–5% spermatozoa and some 60% of the volume is seminal plasma. Seminal plasma of humans contains a complex range of organic and inorganic constituents including metal and salt ions, sugars, lipids, steroid hormones, enzymes, prostaglandin hormones, amino acids and basic amines such as putrescine, spermine, spermidine and cadaverine. Since the seminal plasma provides a nutritive and protective medium for the spermatozoa during their journey through the female reproductive tract, it has been believed for a long time that the same protective properties can help protect skin from the environment. Truth is, there are a lot of alkalis in sperm. The female reproductive tract, if filled with acids, and the alkaline bases in the seminal plasma counteract the acids and protect DNA inside the sperm from acidic denaturation.

As for it's benefit to skin, Well, semen contains proteins, which tightens the skin helping with wrinkles (however this could be temporary). It also contains an abundance of natural lipids, essential amino acids and prostaglandin, natural substances which aid in skin repair and increase blood flow bringing in more nutrients to the to the skin.

So one could deduce from these facts that it's not bad and may possibly have its benefits.

In short, however the best things for our skin are, consuming plenty of essential fatty acids (monounsaturated and poly, all those Omega 3-6-9s), drinking enough water, and protecting yourself from the sun, stress and cigarette smoke as well as other free radicals. Healthy diet, exercise and living well are sure-fire, other than that it is hit an miss with the products we can buy (or extract-- ahhem).

Our 3rd and last question comes from the charismatic g-man.

He writes:

Dear AJ: Do you sing in the shower?

The answer to that one is very simple. "YES I DO!" I love to sing, and singing in the shower just seems to make my voice sound so much cooler, as if I am in Carnegie Hall or someplace mystic or historical. There's no limit to my 'bringing down the house' when it's just me and my bar of soap.

Thanks again guys for these great questions... Everyone please feel free to join us with this new venture. Remember, the topic can be like these, just things you want to know more about, or just want to see if I am clever or daring enough to come up with an answer, or items I have posted about before and you want to know more about them.

Hopefully, these are fun and everyone is enjoying them... let me know, love hearing from you guys.

This won't take the place of regular posts, of course not! I'll post stories and regular things whenever I have them. Just occasionally, when I get a cool topic request or query from my lovely readers, I thought this "Ask AJ" thing might be fun.

We could all do with loosening up now and then and having a bit more of that.

So until next time, keep all butts "itch free", your skin bright and shiny and keep a song in your heart (preferably save it for the shower, as I doubt we all wanna hear it! lol j/k).




furiousBall said...

do you sing naked while in the shower

g-man said...

Nicely done. I was getting ready for some other kind of story abou the shower when I read the maturity warning ;)

Blondie said...

I DID know that....

You are HILARIOUS! Glad to know that I don't have to eat or smear any "seamon" going forward.
Love you to death.

Anonymous said...

wow, girl you have been busy great posts...if I can drag my ass across the floor then its off for my "seaman" scrub in the karaoke shower.....jinks