Wednesday, December 03, 2008

I'm Going Off The Rails

On A Crazy Train...
Happy Birthday to Ozzy Osbourne, who is sixty (60) years old today. It's been quite a ride, and I've always been a fan... from Black Sabbath, to "The Ozzman Cometh" and on, and through his host of great guitarists.

The funny thing is, with all of our 'musical heroes' turning fifty-something, sixty, seventy and beyond, it only serves as a wake up call to the children that we still subconsciously hang onto. In other words, it reminds me that I am not "that kid" anymore, no matter how much I try to be, or how immature I seem to remain.

We've come a long, long way since those early days when MTV changed the world, or Friday Night Videos were the highlight of our Friday nights (this was before we could date of course, and Stacey and Kristie were forced to stay up for this, but rarely made it. They probably remember "Friday Night Videos" in an entirely different light).

So you go to sleep one night, and you're 10 years old, and you wake up to that harsh reality that you somehow let it all slip away. So you file right in line, marching on, directly right behind those other guys, the ones who you think to yourself 'have started looking 'REALLY old' all of a sudden'. What do you do now?? I'm not quite sure... guess we keep putting one painful, creaky foot in front of the other and that we keep fighting, and even living in denial about it all.

I don't want to grow up, and I don't want to face these harsh realities of the world... I'm just not ready. But given an option, is anyone ever really ready? We watch helplessly, as our parents and elders grow more feeble, sad and ill. It is hard not to let it depress you, it is hard not to worry, even though everyone continuously says, "Stop obsessing over it, stop worrying about things you have no control over, it doesn't do you any good." Yeah, well they're right. It does nobody any good, but I don't know how to make the melancholy about all this go away really. I'm not prepared, and I will never really be prepared for it all.

We can't sit and live in the past forever, or we'll never get anything out of life. Hopes and dreams for the future can never come alive when we won't let go of what used to be. There simply just isn't enough room for all of that to live under one roof, no matter who we are or what we're going through.

How did this begin as a Happy Birthday acknowledgment of a musical icon, then morph into some morbid fixation on the cold hard reality of life? I'm not quite sure... call it my Special Gift.

Then as "Vivian" tells "Edward" in Pretty Woman (1990), "I think you have a lot of special gifts." Yes, she's right... and don't we all. Guess we just have to realize it, get out there and use them, and be happy.

Speaking of "Pretty Woman", that drags up a whole different subject of Movie Nostalgia, flicks that either drudge of more past memories, or bring a tear to the eye... I could list a few.

AJ's Favorite 80s Comedies:
-Ferris Bueller's Day Off
-Sixteen Candles
-Peggy Sue Got Married
-Raising Arizona
-Loverboy (the one with Patrick Dempsey)
-The Breakfast Club (with 'The Brat Pack')
-Planes, Trains and Automobiles
-Fast Times at Ridgemont High
-Back To The Future
(just to name a few)

AJ's Favorite Tearjerkers
(this is gonna reflect badly on me I know)
-The Notebook
-Big Fish
-Ghost (I know, give me a break)
-E.T. (of course)
-Forrest Gump
-The Color Purple
-LOTR (Return of The King)
-Charlotte's Web
(I could go on)

AJ's Favorite Horror Flicks (Eeek! lol)
-The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original is best)
-Return of The Living Dead
-Stephen King's "It"
-The Exorcist
-The Shining

Gotta stop there on Horror, there are not too many "great" Horror flicks in my opinion, mostly they are too cheesy, or if they're too possible meaning, it is something that I think in my mind could be, then I get too creeped out and can't watch it anyway. Stick with those old classics, they're the best though.

AJ's favorite movies of all time (any category)
-The Big Lebowski
-Old School
-A Clockwork Orange
-Forrest Gump
-Good Fellas
-The Godfather
-There's Just Something About Mary
-The Shawshank Redemption
-The Green Mile
-Back To The Future
-Stand By Me
-Boogie Nights
-Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas
-Arizona Dream
-A Christmas Story

All of those in no particular order. I enjoy too many movies as well, it would take me a while to really weed it all out and narrow it down to some "top five" thing. Maybe I will one day. To say the least, the silver screen has taken me to various universes, and helped me escape from reality numerous times. That and of course my big love for music, that's even more than any movie for me. I'll have to go into my favorite songs or some sort of soundtrack of my life type thing another time.

Let's go full circle with this, like I said have been through rounds of emotions in the last few days. It just happens to me sometime, it's not due to any out-of-the-ordinary happening. Sometimes the little things just pile up and if I've been zoned out daydreaming, and suddenly wake up and take notice of everything happening around me, I get a little depressed. That's all. Everything from my Dad's declining health, to bills and finances, to band stresses, work stresses, cluttered house and messy car, to anything else that arises daily. Ridiculous, I know... and unnecessary.

So alright, what if I was ten years old again... now, after having gone through all that I have, and learning certain lessons? Could I apply some of the knowledge, and avoid some of the pains? Would I want to? It might change things in negative ways. I came this route for a reason. So, no maybe I wouldn't change much. I'd say even more "I Love Yous". I might try to realize more what is important through those earlier years, and not waste so much time on those who didn't deserve my best. I would appreciate things so much more, and I would try to stamp out that bad habit early on of worrying over things that I have no control over, and of the things that I could do something about, I would proceed full-force and at least try.

But regarding the "growing up" part? I'd still believe in magic, and still live my life by that prime example that 'Growing OLD(er) is just a mandatory part of Life, but that Growing UP is optional, and should likely be avoided.' So, if I had the opportunity to send a message or note to my now-older self, I would take out a little note card, and I would write on it, "Go, But Don't Forget Me. Love, Your 10-year-old-self".

Today, I hope Ozzy and all the rest of you find the kid in you too...
It's never too late for us.

The following quote is from The Story Of Rose: "There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability." "The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."


Jay said...

For the most part growing up is optional. Until all those responsibilities land on our doorstep. Then all of the sudden we have to act like grown ups for a while. But, not all the time. That would suck.

Good list of movies. There's no way I could narrow my favorite movies down to a top five list. No way.

Would you believe I've never seen "Fear and Loathing" movie? I've read the book a few times, but haven't actually watched the movie.

Bone said...

I can't seem to recall Friday Night Videos. But I do remember Night Trax (I think it was called) on TBS. Seems like it came on late Friday nights and maybe Saturday night, too.

I'd have to include Red Dawn on my list of movies. Though it's not really a comedy. Or a horror. Or a tearjerker :)

BBC said...

So alright, what if I was ten years old again.

Things were simple to you then, so to get back to that point you need to simplify and not take on so much.

I don't want to grow up,

Tough shit baby, no one wants to, but it's requirement of life on this rock. Growing up and being responsible isn't a bad thing.

You just have to learn a lot about yourself and understand that taking everything on is too much.

It's okay to enjoy the kid in you, but sometimes the parent in you has to say no to the kid in you.

I don't watch horror flicks, fuck'em. I prefer romantic comedies that can bring a tear to my eye.

It seems that you have seen a lot more movies than I have. Pretty Woman is a great movie, watched it twice. But when it comes to a movie about love so is Centennial Man.

Actually, love is a fucking pain in the ass. But it is our most interesting insanity.

Oh hell, I'd better shut up. Just remember, simplify, you don't need all that you think you need.

Furtheron said...

All aboard... Ha ha ha!

Given what Ozzy has done to himself over the years it's a bloody miracle the mans here at all and not just an occasional memory.

Happy birthday Ozzy.

On the mobid bit - I know what you mean. How the hell did I get to be middle aged? When did that happen? I remember just after my Mum died my sister saying to me - "well that is it we are the elder generation now". She was right all of the preceeding generations in our family had gone and that was it. I have two teenage kids, one at university, I'm within site of my silver wedding anniversary (2010), I've been at the same company over 17 years!

Here is a typically Furtheron way of looking at something that Mr J may be able to explain..... I have a guitar which when I bought it was a replica of a sort after classic. Now that guitar is itself as old as the sort after classic was at the time I bought it... Eh?!

However I was watching the news about Zimbabwe last night - how can the rest of the world stand by whilst that nonsense is going on? - anyway. Life expectancy in Zimbabwe in 2008 - yes the 21st century with all our knowledge etc. is .... for men 37 and women 34. Holly Shit! Thank God I live where I do and have what I have even if I'm not as fit, as young or as slim as I used to be...

BBC said...

Sixteen Candles......

Well, I grew up in a mining and logging town, as I recall it went something like.

Sixteen candles on the shelf, take one down and fuck yourself.....

Ha ha ha.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap, Ozzy's SIXTY?! That doesn't seem right...but I guess it is, eh? :)
Thanks for stopping by - I didn't do WWC this week, but hopefully I can get myself together for this coming week. Sheesh.

Kenski said...

I think I'm aging in reverse, like one of those sci-fi movies about time-travel or perhaps a flic with one-too-many flashbacks.

When I was in my twenties I was the most adult person I've ever met. I did, however, drive the fastest car I could afford. It went from 0-60mph in about 11s.

In my early thirties I started to regress a bit, but was still 'sensible'... even though the car I drove was faster, with a louder stereo (which didn't self-ignite like the old one). I could get to 60mph in under 8s.

Towards my late thirties I started to let things slip a bit and enjoy myself more... and I was driving a Corvette Z06, 0-60mph in under 4s.

As I approach 40 I no longer own a car. I've just joined a rock band and I ride a 125cc Vespa as though it was a crotch rocket, weaving in and out of London traffic with a beautifully obnoxious Les Paul strapped to my back. Give me a couple of drinks and next thing I know I'll be dancing shirtless on a podium in a seedy underground nightclub, a sea of adoring fans beneath me.

The next morning I'll wake up, eye myself in the mirror and think about how fat I've gotten.

Mother would be so proud. Baby's nearly made it to 40 with absolutely no grace, whatsoever!

The Manic Street Preacher said...

What's 'growing up'?

Shame on you!!! You didn't mention Quadrophenia or The Football Factory!!!

You're forgiven as it's you x

How the hell did Ozzie make 60???? Marvellous stuff!!!