Thursday, June 02, 2016


I'm struggling, daily. I am unhappy with my choices and my situations, my attitude, my health, and myself. Nobody has to lecture me, I get it. This is all my responsibility and something I can control. That's why I am so mad at myself right now, because I CAN control this, but I don't. I have allowed myself to get apathetic and lazy, then get upset because my life isn't what I want it to be. I should be treating myself like I treat the partners I have had in my life, but instead, I spend my time treating others like I want to be treated, and rarely getting that in return.

So, yes I am struggling.

I have allowed everything that I have gone through in the last few years, not really to break me but damage the hell out of me enough to make me treat myself like I don't matter, to ruin my life.

After a phone conversation with one of my closest friends this morning, I started thinking about all of this stuff... how there are really no excuses for bad nutrition, lack of exercise and getting things done that are good for my life. 

Gravity (like the lyrics below) may pull us down, but it also keeps us grounded, we can fight it and do anything we need to do. Yes it works against us as Life seems to, but I have always believed it was our effort and attitude that pushed it along or held us back, even though it is easy to get a bad attitude about things. I can't tell you how much inspirational books, audio, etc (positive crap lol) that I have read and listened to, trying to motivate myself for a better attitude, quality of life and 'law of attraction" of being flooded with abundance and all that jazz.

 "Gravity is working against me And gravity wants to bring me down. Oh, I'll never known what makes this man. With all the love that his heart can stand Dream of ways to throw it all away Whoa, gravity is working against me And gravity wants to bring me down Oh, twice as much ain't twice as good. And can't sustain like one half could. It's wanting more that's gonna send me to my knees...Just keep me where the light is." 
(Taken from "Gravity" by John Mayer--not a big fan of his, but these lyrics have a good message)
Anyways, blah blah blah, right? Get up and do something about it... yes, I'm working on it. Where does one find one's... what it it called?? Muse. 

Gotta get me one of those.

(or a guardian angel who was a personal trainer in a former life)


BBC said...

Well, keep on trucking....

Bizarro Aunt Jackie said...

That's what I'm doing... got no other choice. ;-) It's life.