Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Melon Collie and the Hopefully Temporary Sadness

It is the day before Thanksgiving, and the feelings of holiday dread are beginning to creep in. I tried to remain perked up and find things to keep me on a positive note, but I must admit that I'm feeling just plain Melancholy right about now. I guess it's a kind of emptiness, or loneliness that comes with the season for me.

Sometimes, although you will rarely hear me admit this, I envy friends, family and colleagues who have their normal homes and their normal families (with children) to go home to, they get a "security" that I don't get. Guess sometimes I would rewind if I could and make different choices. In fact, if I could go back some years knowing what I know now, I would definitely do some switching up and changing lanes...

We know that we're in this exact 'time and place' and situation for a reason, though, but that doesn't make the medicine any easier to swallow.

I do hope to get another chance at real happiness and fulfillment, I realize we choose these directions and we get navigate our paths, so next time I am given the golden egg, I'm going to crack it. These "missed boats" sink my very heart and flood my soul.

One of these days, I truly hope all my wishes come true. =)

Until then my love I will be here, patiently... Waiting...



Yes I Am Waiting...

6 comments:

BBC said...

Stop your goddamn whining and come and spend the rest of the year with me.

I enjoy thanksgiving, I ignore christmas the best I can and go camping. But maybe this year I'll go boating.

Chelly said...

This too shall pass Jackie. Good times are coming for you. You've got so much going for you. When you least expect it...boom, things will change. Just enjoy being you for now and as you said "wait" and see.

PS: your posts have the quality to break one's heart or make one joyous, sometimes both. A way with words, you have.

Furtheron said...

I am sure there are better times around the corner... either that or a truck with your name on it... *joking* :-)

Funny those of us in the "security" of the "normal" often have our days when we think we should just break the glass and go off... heard a good quote the other day "Everybody should have one moment of recklessness in their lives"... maybe

BBC said...

Really, Jackie, I need for you to work your way out of your funk and be your old self again. If you didn’t live so far away I’d swing by and take you for a boat ride, if we really liked each other I’d let you play with my dick.

Remember, when one door closes another door opens, although that sometimes takes a couple of years. And sometimes you have to get out and start opening doors. Never mind with looking for love, it can be a pain in the ass. Start with like and having fun and wait and see if it grows into love.

"Everybody should have one moment of recklessness in their lives"

You haven't lived until you've experienced a few moments of sheer terror.

Bizarro Aunt Jackie said...

Thanks guys, its like anything in life, we Work thru things in our own way.

BBC, I guess your heart's in the right place, but you're too opinionated and nosy for your own good :) Believe me, I'm not your type, I'm too "heavy" and young for you and you're not big enough, or mean enough for me. Besides, I'm a "cradle robber"... And I don't see myself getting over the man I love so I'm pretty much done for... Meaning I don't care to play with anyone else's dick.

You and I don't share the same spiritual or world views anyway...

Oh guys, I have spent my life living wreckless, there isn't much that I don't try that appeals to me...

Cheers. -AJ

BBC said...

Okay, but I do think you would enjoy a boat ride with me. :-)