The End Is Near

Oh goody! It's nearly 2012 so you know what that means, we get to look forward to another year with people obsessed about doomsday prophecies and all that cool jazz. I'm interested to see how much crazier people can get about these things.

In the meantime, however we have to keep working on our own destinies... one moment at a time, right? If we get a new moment, then we make the best of it and keep climbing and trying, not driving and crying... lol.

Anyway, Christmas? I survived... I'm just very glad it is over. Now I just hope I can finally see some progress and work on more good things about myself this year. It's time for change, and I mean more than just that stupid crap that refuses to come out of the vending machine.

In honor of the new year that we are looking towards, I will interject a word about Resolutions... I don't do them. That's my resolution... I resolve not to make resolutions... so instead, I offer some alternative "affirmations" if anyone is feeling inspirational (and/or sarcastic)... if not, shut the fuck up I'm rich enough without your 2 cents... you do you, I'll do me. (yeah yeah, insert juvenile, tasteless sexual innuendo here that I will just ignore).

So... here you go, like it or not... here's to the new year, the beginning of "The End" and all...

In 2012,

As I release feelings of guilt, I get more in touch with my inner sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. 

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault. 

In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.

I am at one with my duality.

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.

I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

I honor & express all facets of my being, regardless of state/local laws.

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future.

The complete lack of evidence is surest proof the conspiracy is working.

Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.