Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Curious Case of Activia

Sometimes you can't help but laugh aloud at certain things. It might be something that isn't a very big deal, or something that the next to come along doesn't see a drop of humor in, but still, there you are giggling. We all have different senses of humor... some dry, some sarcastic, some just silly.

This occurred to me today as I stepped into the Ladies' Restroom at work, and peered over into the waste basket only to see an empty "Activia" Yogurt container. First of all, Activia is well advertised due to its fiber and digestive system regulating functionality. The esteemed spokesperson for this bowel-balancing mojo is none other than Tony Curtis's daughter, Jamie Lee Curtis.

Maybe she had been in there? Ahh I think not.

Still, it wasn't too long ago that I watched the extremely hilarious stand-up by Wanda Sykes. She's just one of the funniest female comediennes out there in my humble opinion. Anyroad, Wanda was on a discussion about getting older, and things that made her feel old. So she mentions how she's watching T.V. and Sally Field, a.k.a. "The Flying Nun" is taking Boniva for brittle bones, and went on to say, "... and you mean to tell me that Jamie Curtis needs a yogurt to shit?!?" The way she put it just had me in stitches.

So all this came flooding back (no pun intended) when I saw that yogurt container in the trash. Besides, why is someone sitting in the toilet eating? That's just gross. Plus, I think it takes at least a couple of weeks for that stuff to get you going, so if you're looking for a quick fix, you're gonna be sitting there for a while, and I for one don't appreciate you tying up the john for that long. Take it home sista.

Ok, so that leads me up to my other topic du jour, a few things that really bug me. I've done this before, and although many things that annoy me stay the same, there's always a new creepy crawly or two sliding up under my skin.

Here we go:
  1. This first one has to do with drivers (yes again). I consider myself fairly cordial to the others, unless they deserve being treated like a shithole. So when I allow someone over, or try to help someone out, I figure I might get returns on my investment, but usually no. Like this morning, I was waiting to get over and the person in the other lane just hovers there slightly beside/behind me. That really pisses me off. They know I am trying to get over, yet they can't speed up enough, or slow down enough for me to make the turn. Go to Hell ye callous bastards.

  2. Next up is the work environment again. In crowded offices where everyone is packaged in their small-sized cubicles, and open to all noise, I feel it is just extremely rude and thoughtless of those who are passing by work areas laughing and chatting loudly as if they are outside or at some sporting event. They get directly behind me when talking on cell phones (just because there's a space there) as if I am invisible or don't exist and can't hear their conversations, and they have conference calls and loud meetings all hours of the day. They really just need to think of the others in the building who are trying to concentrate, and also may be on the phone with clients and such. It's not a private space, and we all have a job to do. Just a little common courtesy and an inside voice is all I am asking for. I would think at least the Managerial staff would be mindful of this, but they are just as bad or worse.

  3. Ok this one is a repeat, so I will make it short. Waiters and Waitresses, again with the unruly devil children!!? I asked to be seated someplace quiet and less crowded. Don't honor that request only to sit a party of 20 (half of that screaming brats) right next to me 10 minutes later. Is this some sadistic joke? Furthermore, why is it that parents always have to take their kids out screaming it up at nice quiet restaurants anyway? Take them to McDonald's and lock them outside on the play equipment. Nobody and I mean NOBODY wants to hear these undisciplined little shits.

  4. Finally, I must complain about "Mr. Nosy", a recent neighbor who has made his existence, presence and nosiness well known in the last few weeks. The man has lived across the street on the other corner from me since we've lived there (he stated that he has lived there 13 years). Still I just met him a few weeks ago. I don't know why, but getting 'thick' with my neighbors or many others than my family and close friends just doesn't appeal to me. I don't like having to get stuck in conversations or situations where you are faced with any sort of invitation for issues, and I just love my privacy. So when Mr. Nosy cranked up, I got a little anxious. I was as nice as I could be, but I have to admit that I find it deeply unsettling that he is always out on his curb, drinking coffee, hanging out, and watching the entire neighborhood. He asks nosy questions, and always catches you on your way here or there. On one hand it might be good to have an upstanding neighbor watching out in case other creeps come around up to no good, but then again, just how upstanding is the guy? I don't know him, and there are a lot of child molesters and weirdos in our little spot on the map. He may just fit that bill.
Ok, that's all for me right now, I have more to do and plenty of catching up with you guys to do too. I'll be around to read up on you shortly. Miss me?? I hope so.

Love, AJ


Furtheron said...

Re work... I was in a management meeting recently where the request was to help raise the noise levels... apparantly if it is noiser all the time it is less distracting... according to some latest theory.


Margo said...

Jamie Leigh Curtis. Now wouldn't that have been funny if she was standing there when you came out of the stall? And speaking from experience with several psychopaths next door in my past, you're right to be careful about the neighbors.