Ahhh yes, hospitals are so much fun. The cuisine is amazing, right? The beds and accomodations, oh so comfy. Now admittedly, I have not been in and out of hospitals at all throughout my life, with the exception of a couple outpatient type things, and my tonsil surgery when I was 5. I fancied myself one of those strong Amazon Vixens that went through most if not the entirety of life without being hospitalized, or having to deal with medical issues.
Though I don't really speak about it in very much detail publicly, and may have briefly given an overview on the blog, will for the sake of my own history timeline detail a bit of what transpired.
Everything started this past fall (September to be exact) when I had some issues, and went in to the doc, and was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. Yes that big C that can scare the crap out of anybody really, but once you gather yourself together, realize that you have no choice but to make quick decisions, hopefully the best ones that you can, then just do what you have to do in order to stay positive and try your best to beat (whatever condition or issue you are facing).
So that's what I did. After battling it out in my mind, with the fear that comes from hearing so many horror stories, I made my choice to undergo the recommended Radiation and Chemotherapy regimen and just hoped for the best and made the command decision to keep a positive attitude and negate the idea that I even had "C".
Although I cannot explain truly why, I got through these treatments without getting sick, losing my hair or some of the worser side-effects that we expect in a situation like this. I did experience fatigue, and some effects on the ol' bladder (t.m.i.) but for the most part, it went better than expected. Then the last stint of the treatment was a weekly scheduled "internal" radiation treatment, and the medical staff was amazed at how well I went through that as well.
Treatments were completed at the beginning of February, and I was elated at the fact that I would then be looking at only follow-up appointments and tracking the progress to see if everything was effective and I was moving toward the 'free and clear' hopefully eventually be considered "The Cure"... which of course, is still what my aim and thoughts turn to daily. One day at a time, as my Mom always said. It's part medical, and a great big percentage OUR OWN ATTITUDE and EFFORTS. We have tools at our disposal, but we have to do our part, is all I'm saying... I'm trying my best to do better and take care of myself well. We're all works in progress.
The best part to the story is a couple weeks after finishing up the radiation treatments, I was blessed with a fun and exciting Gall Bladder attack, paid a visit to the ER and found out that it was time to have it removed. So I was admitted and spend a short little stay in the hospital waiting to be operated on, and then a day or so recovering. That was the first time I had any real "surgery" since I was five years old having my tonsils removed, honestly.
Therefore, all of the aforementioned events and conditions pretty much wiped out my aspirations of keeping my visits to the doctors or hospitals nil. But I am still here, and for that I am grateful.
Funny how I see people who drink their liver into oblivion and smoke like freight trains until the ripe old age of 133, and I do neither. Life is a crap shoot though, so honestly everything you do is a gamble, and you get what you get... right?
Great, that's settled. Now on to other exciting events, or back to your regularly scheduled programming, whichever you prefer. --Yes that's the point I allow you to stop reading if you wanted to. If you're still with me, then you are locked in for the long haul of my ridiculously long, sometimes insanely random train of thoughts, which frequently goes off track.
You've been warned.
All of that timed pretty well with my being a contractor and having a couple months off between projects. Financially, no it has been challenging, schedule wise, great. I just keep a positive mindset and try to relax knowing that everything falls as it should. So last week, I started my latest working gig, which is mostly charts, reports and technical writing. I can dig that for a while. In the meantime, I am sure that something just right will pop up just around the corner.
I ventured over to the cafeteria for the first time today, grabbed a salad and I am at my desk talking to you and munching on bleu cheese coated veggies. Oh, go on, roast me I had a craving.
Though I want to do very well here at this new position, the first week or two can be a little intimidating until you're familiar with the info and what to do with it all. I will get it though. I could be making better use of my time today, but I had the urge to do some 'nervous writing', and even though it is probably not my most inspiring or titilatting piece, it has helped me feel a little more chilled out. You're probably asking yourself, "But why are you nervous at all?" I can't give a good reason for it. I'm just one of those people who, although I work through it well enough that you'd never know it unless you were my close friend or partner, just get anxiety and sometimes will overthink / overstress and get all bent up about things that I know don't amount to much of anything, and that by tomorrow I will wonder why I ever worried about them in the first place. It's just one of those crazy little traits I have, hell even I don't like dealing with it but I'm kind of stuck with me. Ha-ha!
To be honest, though, I am a pretty cool chick to be stuck with.
Better get you one,