Deep In The Forrest

 Something I have always second-guessed, or doubted, however I guess it can be true in some circumstances. I pop by my blog from time-to-time, and beat myself up for not writing here very often at all, and am reminded of times when it was such a priority to keep it fun and write often. Life has its way of keeping us rolling. We have to take time to do the things that bring meaning to our lives. It's not always easy though, as we are all going through so much. If you happen to pop by, leave me a note. Would you like to see more posts? What kind of content? Would love to make blogging great again.

I DON'T GOT my Mojo workin... I'm looking at my recent posts, and I'm not very happy with how lazy I am at writing these days. Given the state of the world and everyone stuck at home, I should be diving deep into my creative endeavors. This is the way it goes with me, back and forth. I need a muse, or some vibes that get me back into being the creative and magical child I once was. I need to be around creative types, artists again... It's tough because as things still stand, even now as July is coming to a close and we are looking down the barrel at August already (seems like we just turned the New Year), we're still isolating, keeping 'social distances' and staying away from crowds as much as possible. So we all have to push ourselves more, or self-motivate. It's not easy sometimes. Keeping this short, really... Not much to say. I have a lot of work to get done really, and things to get accomplished around here, but I miss hearing from readers. Is anyb...

S o ,  I have had a lot on my mind lately, and plenty to write about, which is not unusual. It's pretty much par for the course for me... Lack of content, ideas or words is never the problem for me. It is usually laziness, time-wasting and procrastination that demolishes my creative efforts and endeavors. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's also one of my biggest struggles. So I'm not going to beat myself up, just keep living Dia por Dia, and doing my best to improve things like that, the things about myself that most make me wanna beat my ass. Most of y'all can dig that, I think. "Can you hear me now!?" Anyway, as I shuffled on over here to think about my blog, and writing, etc, I took a look at my theme and decided it had been way too long since I gave it a face-lift. It needed updating in a major way. Since I work in the field of Web Development / Design, it's terrible that I have waited so long to pop over and ensure that my blog ...

I missed posting for my Dad's birthday, August 29th.. and some others. The weeks are just blurring together. I'm once again looking for work, and my self esteem is at an all time low. I feel like crud (emotionally). Have been in a weird phase lately, trying to stay afloat, trying to find some sort of motivation, some sort of inspiration, but it never comes. I'm struggling, and it is not letting up just yet, even though I feel like I've been waiting for that "light at the end of the tunnel" for nearly a decade now. That's one ridiculously long tunnel. All I want is to feel secure again, and to have a reliable job to go to, a long-term "permanent" job doing what I love, which is web development-related, creative. Is that so much to ask? I'm so sick of getting the rejection letters from companies. All I need is a foot in the door to prove that I can be great. This downward spiral has to have an expiration date. I swear I have done my...

Just on a music kick tonight, and I had forgotten about this song, which speaks so much. "Jealous" by Labrinth I'm jealous of the rain That falls upon your skin It's closer than my hands have been I'm jealous of the rain I'm jealous of the wind That ripples through your clothes It's closer than your shadow Oh, I'm jealous of the wind 'Cause I wished you the best of All this world could give And I told you when you left me There's nothing to forgive But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was Heartbreak and misery It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way You're happy without me I'm jealous of the nights That I don't spend with you I'm wondering who you lay next to Oh, I'm jealous of the nights I'm jealous of the love Love that was in here Gone for someone else to share Oh, I'm jealous of the love 'Cause I wished you the best of All this world coul...

My emotions have been "running amok" lately. That's nothing new, to be honest, I think I have lived my life on an emotional roller coaster of my own engineering. My belief is that it is something I revel in, rather than feel guilty about. My emotions and I have a very tight and loving relationship. Even when it is overflowing in a huge vat of depression, I am proud of the fact that I feel so deeply, and am also able to express what's on my heart and mind (most of the time). I sometimes feel sorry for people who hold everything in. You never know what is going to happen from one day to the next, I would much rather have said what I need to say, and let people know how I feel about them rather than let something happen and they not know. Now this doesn't always apply to times when I need to let people know how badly they have hurt or are hurting me. For some reason, I am not so good at this, although I think it bears equal importance. It is something I am working...

Well yes I am inconsistent. I love to write, wish I wrote for a living, but yet end up with the worst gaps in my posts / writing ever. Then I beat myself up for it because I love writing and want to write, and have regular visitors and readers, etc, but I really don't think people are reading anything I post. Even so, I still write for myself as much as I do others. The feedback is still something I enjoy, and I always wish people would comment and communicate with me more. Anyway, I figured it was about time for me to toss a post together. Facebook's reminders told me that it is "National Siblings Day". Really, one of those little known morsels, things we either forget, or they're really not that big, right? Nonetheless, I thought the little tribute I wrote to my sisters last year on this day was worth a re-post / re-link. So here you go, once again, For the Love of Sisters . I do love my family, we just all have such different lives and things going on tha...

Once again I have been abusing "Tortilla Soup" (meaning I have been watching it every time I see it. I love the music. I love watching Hector Elizondo cook (even though I'm sure it's a stand in on the cooking shots, i'm not sure). However, it's one of my feel good movies. This song puts a smile in my heart. Perhaps... Quizas...

The first month of the year has come and gone, and today is February 1st. Fall really flew by, way too fast in my opinion, and I'm still a little depressed that the holiday season is over, to be honest. I like the lights and the music and the holiday movies. I like imagining that I live in New York like my favorite characters in so many movies that I watch on repeat. Man, I can't even really count how many times I have truly watched some of them, but it's up there. This was something I was thinking a lot about just the other day, how I watch t.v. shows like "Seinfeld", and "Friends", and movies like "You've Got Mail" that overly-romanticize New York City for me. They make me think, 'Hey I could actually afford to live there, and isn't it glamorous and cool?!' I have often fantasized that I would run a cool, trendy coffee shop and be a part of the art scene. These movies and t.v. shows make it so over-hyped though, it is unfa...

No fancy plans, stories or gimmicks really for this post. Just grief  for the passing of yet another year gone by. I just thought I would take a moment to reflect and send out my best wishes to all of you, those I know, those I don't know--Anyone who might actually be reading this, which I doubt is anybody at all, but may miraculously be one or two people. If you're reading this, thank you. I try to find reasons to keep blogging and writing, and I know it is silly to want feedback, or some sort of confirmation from others, but just knowing someone reads and appreciates our words, thoughts and feelings (selfishly) does mean a lot to me. I miss having readership, I always enjoyed getting the comments back, but things have changed a lot with blogging. Nobody really does it anymore I guess... or not many. Those who do, it's usually related to a specific project they're working on (as a marketing tool), or it is one of those blogs where you already have a huge following, and...

Not much going on in the land of Jax today, the work day has been a little slow, and it is raining here in the Mid-South. I'm still holding out hoping for a bit of snow on Christmas. I heard a report that we might get some snow. If so, maybe it will be enough to make a snowman? We shall see. Anyway, today I find on the calendar three weird holidays. 1. Games Day , 2. Sangria Day , and 3. Go Caroling Day . I thought it was kind of funny, these three holidays seem to go quite well together. You can throw together a big pitcher of Sangria and get drunk, play some games and go out drunk caroling. (You can put these in any order you'd like, really, whatever works best for you. Now there are other little holidays, but those were the 3 that I found for today, December 20th. Can you imagine the hilarious possibilities? Tell you what, YOU go out and try combining these, while I stay home and play my Sims 4 game, how about that? I'm too lazy to get out in this weather a...

I'm a pretty heavy movie buff, but I don't usually go 'ga-ga' over the movies that other people do. My tastes are eclectic for the most part, yet somewhat trite and cheesy for many people's tastes. It doesn't really bother me, I am not someone who has to follow the pack. I enjoy what I enjoy, and I am the weirdo who watches my favorite "comfort movies" over, and over, and over again. One of those favorite comfort movies is "The Holiday". I have read a lot of articles and notes blasting it for thinness of plot, overdoing it by having more than one central romance in the movie, or just general complaints about "why they did this, but didn't do that" with the characters or plot. Many have given this movie a low review, one or two stars... but why? It's actually a comforting movie, one of my favorite holiday movies in fact. It's like the over-sized fuzzy sweater that you feel a little guilty for wearing two days in a r...

The following quote, which I first ran across some time ago is one that merits daily reminder, but we get so caught up in our day-to-day grind and are so busy 'white knuckle gripping' the things we are so hellbent on worrying and stressing over that we allow it to fall to the wayside. "Until Further Notice... Celebrate Everything!" Now I am not certain the origin of this quote, though I have seen it repeated many places, and also seen it as the title of published materials. No matter, the concept is one of the best pieces of advice we could receive. As most of us have experienced, or will realize soon enough in life, nothing is certain, nothing lasts forever, time flies and as Stephen King said it best in his novel '11/22/63' (which I highly recommend reading, by the way), "Life turns on a dime. Sometimes towards us, but more often it spins away, flirting and flashing as it goes: so long, honey, it was good while it lasted, wasn’t it?" So ce...

Being back to the grind is an awesome relief after another stent of unemployment. I am so ready to find a more permanent place to hang my name tag and hairnet (so-to-speak). At this time in my life, I really need job security and something dependable. Although office environments vary, one thing is usually common. Unhealthy sweets brought in by various employees, either as a treat, or for special occasions. Sometimes these are planned occasions such as birthdays, work anniversaries or going away "goodbye" cakes. The cursed evils can range from doughnuts, professionally sculpted cakes and pies to cupcakes and sweets based on various cultures and countries. The temptation is hard to resist, and there always seems to be some reason to celebrate. "Bob's Birthday", "Susan's Last Day", "Marcus's Promotion", etc. Since I am currently working in the field of Hospitality, it can be even more difficult to avoid the nefarious nom-ables, since ...

I've been unable to get to sleep tonight, although I felt very tired when I went to lay down and attempt to go to sleep. You see, I've been doing my Thanksgiving cooking, so maybe it's just all the memories preventing me from actually getting some shuteye. Me, Giving Y'all The Bird Right now, as I write this, it is 3:45 AM (Thanksgiving Morning). Those childhood feelings and memories of my parents have been woven into each dash of seasoning, every stir of the spoon or whipping of the batter. As I chopped, saute'd and pureed, all I could see in my mind's eye were visions of my Dad and Mom working together in the kitchen, days before and all the way up to Thanksgiving morning getting everything ready for our big dinner together.  Holidays were always exciting to me growing up because it was the only time that all of my siblings would pile in at the same time (mostly) and all the kids and we had a true houseful. I would wake up early to the succulent s...

Well apparently today's good for a few interesting celebrations. Most intriguingly, there is "Ask a Stupid Question Day" paired up with "International Right to Know Day". I guess that means if people ask us stupid questions today, we're pretty much obligated to school them... ahh the thirst for knowledge, and of course beer. Yesss, Drink Beer Day is also today, which is more than likely at least partially responsible for many of the stupid questions we get on a regular basis (cheers!). Thank goodness for drunk people, am I right? They provide us with comic relief due to so many burned up brain cells. Those mighty little brain cells had so much potential, yet they were struck down in the prime of their life. Can we have a moment of silence for all of the brain cells that have died for the cause of the almighty beer belly and the quest for the perfect buzz? **For a moment we can only hear crickets and the central AC blowing** Here is a hilarious vi...

In getting back to my 'muse research' for posts, I ran across today's "Fun Holiday". September 27th is "Crush a Can Day"! This is kind of cool, and who doesn't love the exhilarating feeling of crushing a can between your fingers, or even stepping on them to 'smush' them as I enjoyed doing growing up. What an environmentally friendly way to have a little fun. Then you can take all of your crushed cans to the recycling center to give them a new life! See further below for tips on how to celebrate this little-known holiday. This next song is called "Arach-NO-phobia!!" Crushing cans reminded me of course about "Crushes". I tell so many stories involving crushes I've had on others growing up, and throughout life, guys I stalked and whose lives I made a living hell. But, have I ever shared any where someone had a crush on me? If memory serves me correctly, I'll have to say... probably not often, because it was a p...

Took another Hiatus, and this happens sometimes unintentionally. I've been trying to work on a book, so I've done some writing "offline" (if you will). Things brewing, and of course it is officially fall, so I am ready to perk back up and get back to the blog a bit more regularly. Things get hectic and sometimes I get distracted by life itself, just daily struggles and trying to make ends meet and I allow my favorite things to take a backseat. "Favorite things?" you say. Yes, you know, my writing (here), my music, my art and myself. We must remember never to neglect our favorite things for very long, lest they move on and find other favorite things themselves. "Life Turns On A Dime." -Stephen King (Be back a little later, with more of my world-famous "word vomit". I know you all enjoy!) Sharing This Gorilla Drinking Coffee For No Reason Mondazed, Aunt Jackie

Well I have had a little gap, as my schedule changed up a good bit when my last contract position ended, and I've been doing a lot of work on the house, and of course trying like heck to find my next position and hopefully a long-term to permanent position. So a bit busy, and at times, lazy, but with the transitions of things in the house, I haven't had a good "computer spot" set-up which is comfortable for me to sit for long period of time so that I could spend much time on my writing and blogging. I need a new laptop or something to be honest, that way I'd be able to set myself up pretty much anywhere and write more conveniently. Yes, I used to have one, but it broke some time ago, and without my former roommate, I have no access to one. So, once I get settled into my new job (which I have faith is coming soon), I'll safe up and get me a small, cool little notebook or something. My Cat Has This Attitude I was happy with myself for getting posts up pret...

(originally for May 9th) 2017 Daily Holidays from May 9, included: National Moscato Day  National Teachers Day - May 9, 2017 (Tuesday of the First Full Week in May) Occupational Safety and Health Professionals Day  Funny that the above holidays are all listed on the same day, that they're the ONLY holidays listed on this lovely day, here in May (the 9th to be exact). Funny, why? Because they COULD be related... humorously. So no offense to anyone who might be mucking around and stumble across this. I have many friends and family members who are Teachers. So I was just thinking about today being "National Teachers Day", how they get so stressed out that they probably wanna clobber the kids, and also there are so many communicable diseases that "Occupational Safety and Health Professionals Day" plays a part in there, and then when everybody's done dealing with all of the chaos, they probably really DO need a glass or two of that Moscato (please...