Deep In The Forrest

 Something I have always second-guessed, or doubted, however I guess it can be true in some circumstances. I pop by my blog from time-to-time, and beat myself up for not writing here very often at all, and am reminded of times when it was such a priority to keep it fun and write often. Life has its way of keeping us rolling. We have to take time to do the things that bring meaning to our lives. It's not always easy though, as we are all going through so much. If you happen to pop by, leave me a note. Would you like to see more posts? What kind of content? Would love to make blogging great again.

I DON'T GOT my Mojo workin... I'm looking at my recent posts, and I'm not very happy with how lazy I am at writing these days. Given the state of the world and everyone stuck at home, I should be diving deep into my creative endeavors. This is the way it goes with me, back and forth. I need a muse, or some vibes that get me back into being the creative and magical child I once was. I need to be around creative types, artists again... It's tough because as things still stand, even now as July is coming to a close and we are looking down the barrel at August already (seems like we just turned the New Year), we're still isolating, keeping 'social distances' and staying away from crowds as much as possible. So we all have to push ourselves more, or self-motivate. It's not easy sometimes. Keeping this short, really... Not much to say. I have a lot of work to get done really, and things to get accomplished around here, but I miss hearing from readers. Is anyb...

S o ,  I have had a lot on my mind lately, and plenty to write about, which is not unusual. It's pretty much par for the course for me... Lack of content, ideas or words is never the problem for me. It is usually laziness, time-wasting and procrastination that demolishes my creative efforts and endeavors. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's also one of my biggest struggles. So I'm not going to beat myself up, just keep living Dia por Dia, and doing my best to improve things like that, the things about myself that most make me wanna beat my ass. Most of y'all can dig that, I think. "Can you hear me now!?" Anyway, as I shuffled on over here to think about my blog, and writing, etc, I took a look at my theme and decided it had been way too long since I gave it a face-lift. It needed updating in a major way. Since I work in the field of Web Development / Design, it's terrible that I have waited so long to pop over and ensure that my blog ...

I missed posting for my Dad's birthday, August 29th.. and some others. The weeks are just blurring together. I'm once again looking for work, and my self esteem is at an all time low. I feel like crud (emotionally). Have been in a weird phase lately, trying to stay afloat, trying to find some sort of motivation, some sort of inspiration, but it never comes. I'm struggling, and it is not letting up just yet, even though I feel like I've been waiting for that "light at the end of the tunnel" for nearly a decade now. That's one ridiculously long tunnel. All I want is to feel secure again, and to have a reliable job to go to, a long-term "permanent" job doing what I love, which is web development-related, creative. Is that so much to ask? I'm so sick of getting the rejection letters from companies. All I need is a foot in the door to prove that I can be great. This downward spiral has to have an expiration date. I swear I have done my...

Just on a music kick tonight, and I had forgotten about this song, which speaks so much. "Jealous" by Labrinth I'm jealous of the rain That falls upon your skin It's closer than my hands have been I'm jealous of the rain I'm jealous of the wind That ripples through your clothes It's closer than your shadow Oh, I'm jealous of the wind 'Cause I wished you the best of All this world could give And I told you when you left me There's nothing to forgive But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was Heartbreak and misery It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way You're happy without me I'm jealous of the nights That I don't spend with you I'm wondering who you lay next to Oh, I'm jealous of the nights I'm jealous of the love Love that was in here Gone for someone else to share Oh, I'm jealous of the love 'Cause I wished you the best of All this world coul...

My emotions have been "running amok" lately. That's nothing new, to be honest, I think I have lived my life on an emotional roller coaster of my own engineering. My belief is that it is something I revel in, rather than feel guilty about. My emotions and I have a very tight and loving relationship. Even when it is overflowing in a huge vat of depression, I am proud of the fact that I feel so deeply, and am also able to express what's on my heart and mind (most of the time). I sometimes feel sorry for people who hold everything in. You never know what is going to happen from one day to the next, I would much rather have said what I need to say, and let people know how I feel about them rather than let something happen and they not know. Now this doesn't always apply to times when I need to let people know how badly they have hurt or are hurting me. For some reason, I am not so good at this, although I think it bears equal importance. It is something I am working...

Well yes I am inconsistent. I love to write, wish I wrote for a living, but yet end up with the worst gaps in my posts / writing ever. Then I beat myself up for it because I love writing and want to write, and have regular visitors and readers, etc, but I really don't think people are reading anything I post. Even so, I still write for myself as much as I do others. The feedback is still something I enjoy, and I always wish people would comment and communicate with me more. Anyway, I figured it was about time for me to toss a post together. Facebook's reminders told me that it is "National Siblings Day". Really, one of those little known morsels, things we either forget, or they're really not that big, right? Nonetheless, I thought the little tribute I wrote to my sisters last year on this day was worth a re-post / re-link. So here you go, once again, For the Love of Sisters . I do love my family, we just all have such different lives and things going on tha...